Anonymous wrote:I think I understand OP. I hate being tied down because a kid is scheduled to come over 12-2. Unless it’s last minute and we know we are going to be home, it’s not really ideal.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with scheduling them last minute. I’d say 95% of our playdates are scheduled 24 hours or less in advance. This basically ranges from spontaneous neighbor play dates after school (on the days we don’t have sports practices) to a text the day before (or even morning of) saying “hey, Larlo is asking if Marlo can come over to play. We’re free any time after 3.” Then we aren’t building our whole schedule around it, but rather fitting it in.

I agree with PPs that they’re better the older kids get. Mine are 6 and 8, and play dates actually allow me to get stuff done around the house. Caveat is that boy play dates can be a little more wild, so there are some friends I prefer having over more than others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I understand OP. I hate being tied down because a kid is scheduled to come over 12-2. Unless it’s last minute and we know we are going to be home, it’s not really ideal.

If you are that busy, you don't need playdates.. Why are you and your kid so busy? Why not invite friends to these activities?

DP. We have a full schedule—local cousins, events, activities, schoolwork, and time with their sibling who is also a close friend, so it’s hard to squeeze in anything else. We do add play dates here and there, and I wish there was more time in the day, but it is what it is.

Anonymous wrote:I think I understand OP. I hate being tied down because a kid is scheduled to come over 12-2. Unless it’s last minute and we know we are going to be home, it’s not really ideal.

If you are that busy, you don't need playdates.. Why are you and your kid so busy? Why not invite friends to these activities?

Anonymous wrote:I think I understand OP. I hate being tied down because a kid is scheduled to come over 12-2. Unless it’s last minute and we know we are going to be home, it’s not really ideal.

I only do them when I know we will be home. Are you so nomadic you don’t have a clue when that might be?

I think I understand OP. I hate being tied down because a kid is scheduled to come over 12-2. Unless it’s last minute and we know we are going to be home, it’s not really ideal.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t mind them with certain kids who can play quietly with my own kids and respect our rules. I can’t stand it when the child doesn’t know how to behave and I have to constantly watch them to make sure they’re not damaging anything or getting hurt.

This. Not that we've done a lot by any means but most of our playdates have generally been fine. My youngest is still in preschool where the parents often stay and visit. My oldest is in ES and mostly drop-off playdates now, and some of his friends are rowdy. It's still generally been fine but there is one kid I am not inviting back anytime soon, he was just off the wall and destroying younger DC's toys. I wasn't expecting that and had a headache by the end.

I don’t mind them with certain kids who can play quietly with my own kids and respect our rules. I can’t stand it when the child doesn’t know how to behave and I have to constantly watch them to make sure they’re not damaging anything or getting hurt.

We have kids over fairly often for both of our kids (ages 6 and 8). I don't find it to be much work at all, but we're very liberal with the video game time. An hour or two of Smash Brothers or Mario Kart isn't going to hurt anyone.

Anonymous wrote:Same as the above poster (love playdates when I am friends with the parents, but it takes time to get there).

I do think my kids feel dramatically closer to kids once they have had playdates at the house. It's cemented many friendships for them.

+1 exactly same

As I get older it feels like social interactions are more draining. I overthink them and feel awkward or something.

But once I power through, it becomes a nice thing. Just takes some effort the first few times.

Agree its best when it gets to dropoff age and kids have company. Also agree that often onlies host more. Which is fine with me - DD has a younger sibling that's distracting. We try to reciprocate in other ways (at a park and we bring a snack etc)

I'm not a huge fan of playdates but then again, I don't like hosting anything or having others at my house in general. We have an old, anxious dog that needs to be corralled when we have people over, and we don't have a great area for the kids to hang out in. I also enjoy having our weekends for family time since the weekdays are so busy with school and work. I do playdates for my kids' sakes, though.

They're great when I'm already friends with the parents. Then we could just sit back and talk while the kids entertain themselves.

When it's a neighborhood kid dropping in, which is a frequent occurrence, I get overwhelmed sometimes because the noise level goes up exponentially and we have a small house where there's no refuge from it.

I have an only and don’t like play dates. Our house is small and isn’t divided into public/private areas, so anywhere the kids are will be in my space save for my bedroom. I hate kids commenting on my stack of packages to return or my meal prep or whatever. That’s just my hangup and I know I’m weird. I make up for it by taking my DD’s friends on fun outings or having them with us at the pool or the beach for the day.

My DD would probably have more close friendships if we hosted more playdates, but I know my limits and she seems happy with the friends she has.

I feel like the only parents that like them of those that have a single child

We do them occasionally. It can be fun for the kids to spend some 1 on 1 time with a friend they normally see in a group setting. And that's the only reason we do them, bc it's fun for my kids and I don't mind. It's easier when you know the kid pretty well.

But my kids go to aftercare, and that's like one big long fun play date. So I don't stress if we don't have them a ton on the weekends.

Same as the above poster (love playdates when I am friends with the parents, but it takes time to get there).

I do think my kids feel dramatically closer to kids once they have had playdates at the house. It's cemented many friendships for them.