Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a few fairly religious Jewish friends who regularly ask folks to share the list of high holidays so people don’t schedule important meetings in those days. I think tagging people is a bit much on holiday good wishes but tbf I almost never tag people and rarely post on social media at all so my normalcy calibration might be off. I do see your point about making assumptions about people’s religion, though. If any of these are close friends you can maybe mention it to them another time that it feels odd to be wished greetings as part of a blanket statement without any personal calibration? If acquaintances, I would probably mute them; maybe if their posts get little enough engagement they’ll stop?

I am not close enough with either of them to say anything - and honestly I'm not even sure what I'd say. I don't have an argument for NOT doing this - it just feels off to me. There's nothing I can point to and say, "you shouldn't do this and here's why" - I just feel like it's a weird thing to have non-Jews posting about Jewish holidays, and presuming to share some expertise.

The thing my friend shred about the holidays was originally put up by someone who went to a Lutheran theology school (I see in his profile) then got shared something like 4,000 times. It's not objectionable in content - it just feels weird for someone who is a Christian to be holding himself up as an expert in how to be considerate to the Jews around their holidays (which obviously we can't presume anyone is already familiar with since of course Jews are other and exotic). It feels weird is all!

Anonymous wrote:I have a few fairly religious Jewish friends who regularly ask folks to share the list of high holidays so people don’t schedule important meetings in those days. I think tagging people is a bit much on holiday good wishes but tbf I almost never tag people and rarely post on social media at all so my normalcy calibration might be off. I do see your point about making assumptions about people’s religion, though. If any of these are close friends you can maybe mention it to them another time that it feels odd to be wished greetings as part of a blanket statement without any personal calibration? If acquaintances, I would probably mute them; maybe if their posts get little enough engagement they’ll stop?

Anonymous wrote:I have a few fairly religious Jewish friends who regularly ask folks to share the list of high holidays so people don’t schedule important meetings in those days. I think tagging people is a bit much on holiday good wishes but tbf I almost never tag people and rarely post on social media at all so my normalcy calibration might be off. I do see your point about making assumptions about people’s religion, though. If any of these are close friends you can maybe mention it to them another time that it feels odd to be wished greetings as part of a blanket statement without any personal calibration? If acquaintances, I would probably mute them; maybe if their posts get little enough engagement they’ll stop?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, well-intentioned but weird. I would roll my eyes hard at the Facebook post which is very obviously virtue signaling. Like even if you make a point to know this stuff and offer appropriate greetings, posting about it to Facebook is just a way of being like "Look how THOUGHTFUL and worldly I am!" I also think it would come off as lecture-y to other non-Jews who might then feel pressure to do it, which I really don't feel is necessary.

The last thing I want is for all my non-Jewish friends texting me to let me know they want me to have an easy fast, lol. I usually don't even fast! I'm a bad Jew.

I am OP - and I think this is a lot of it. The FB post was specifically aimed at other Christians - like, hey, Christians, here are the important Jewish holidays and don't bother your Jewish friends during them, but when you do see your Jewish friends here's what to say. Then of course there was the obligatory "please share" - and I was like, please don't! (In my head, I didn't say anything.)

But yeah, I can't remember the last time I celebrated Rosh Hashana or fasted for Yom Kippur. It feels very othering and presumptuous - and also sort of ignorant about how many of us are secular Jews? - to be lecturing one another about what to say and not say to Jewish people on those days. Just be normal, maybe? Be sensitive that some of your Jewish friends may be observing the holidays, and others may not be - like I don't presume that my Christian friends are totally unavailable on Good Friday but if they told me they'd be out of the office or something I would be fine with that, too.

PP here, and yes. I wonder if one thing that is happening here is that the people doing this are pretty devout Christians, and they assume that people in other religions are devout in the same ways. But I don't keep kosher, fast, or attend temple very often. Assuming that I observe my religion the same way you do is actually kind of limiting.

I disagree with the poster who said "damned if you do, damned if you don't." I think the key is: (1) don't be prejudiced, I'm not going to tolerate anti-semitic comments or actions, this is what I care about the most, and (2) if you're friends with someone, get to know them and maybe ask questions about their faith or religion. Anyone who actually knows me would know I'm not super observant. If someone is wishing me an easy fast, it's a sign that all they know about me is that I'm Jewish (which you could figure out from my name and appearance pretty easily). It's not actually that thoughtful.

What does this have to do with this thread????
If anything, an excellent way to combat and battle anti-semitism is through education and discussion, no?
OP is questioning those very things

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, well-intentioned but weird. I would roll my eyes hard at the Facebook post which is very obviously virtue signaling. Like even if you make a point to know this stuff and offer appropriate greetings, posting about it to Facebook is just a way of being like "Look how THOUGHTFUL and worldly I am!" I also think it would come off as lecture-y to other non-Jews who might then feel pressure to do it, which I really don't feel is necessary.

The last thing I want is for all my non-Jewish friends texting me to let me know they want me to have an easy fast, lol. I usually don't even fast! I'm a bad Jew.

I am OP - and I think this is a lot of it. The FB post was specifically aimed at other Christians - like, hey, Christians, here are the important Jewish holidays and don't bother your Jewish friends during them, but when you do see your Jewish friends here's what to say. Then of course there was the obligatory "please share" - and I was like, please don't! (In my head, I didn't say anything.)

But yeah, I can't remember the last time I celebrated Rosh Hashana or fasted for Yom Kippur. It feels very othering and presumptuous - and also sort of ignorant about how many of us are secular Jews? - to be lecturing one another about what to say and not say to Jewish people on those days. Just be normal, maybe? Be sensitive that some of your Jewish friends may be observing the holidays, and others may not be - like I don't presume that my Christian friends are totally unavailable on Good Friday but if they told me they'd be out of the office or something I would be fine with that, too.

PP here, and yes. I wonder if one thing that is happening here is that the people doing this are pretty devout Christians, and they assume that people in other religions are devout in the same ways. But I don't keep kosher, fast, or attend temple very often. Assuming that I observe my religion the same way you do is actually kind of limiting.

I disagree with the poster who said "damned if you do, damned if you don't." I think the key is: (1) don't be prejudiced, I'm not going to tolerate anti-semitic comments or actions, this is what I care about the most, and (2) if you're friends with someone, get to know them and maybe ask questions about their faith or religion. Anyone who actually knows me would know I'm not super observant. If someone is wishing me an easy fast, it's a sign that all they know about me is that I'm Jewish (which you could figure out from my name and appearance pretty easily). It's not actually that thoughtful.

What does this have to do with this thread????
If anything, an excellent way to combat and battle anti-semitism is through education and discussion, no?
OP is questioning those very things

How would posting a list of Jewish holidays or making lists of your Jewish friends combat anti-semitism?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, want to include that I am Jewish, born and raised.

OP's post is the perfect example of "damned-if-you-do / damned-if-you-don't" Your friends, non-Jewish or Jewish, took the time to express good wishes to you. If you are questioning their motives than perhaps you should also question your definition of friendship.

OP, from your explanation it looks like your non-Jewish friends even took the time to research and learn the most proper ways to express their good wishes for the high holy days. If you ask me, that is wonderful and appreciated.

Agreed.

.

+2. It's like people don't know how to live these days. How hard is it to accept well wishes even if you don't need them? If you want the person to stop sending them to you, just say "thank you, but I actually don't celebrate this this"? We live in a society people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, well-intentioned but weird. I would roll my eyes hard at the Facebook post which is very obviously virtue signaling. Like even if you make a point to know this stuff and offer appropriate greetings, posting about it to Facebook is just a way of being like "Look how THOUGHTFUL and worldly I am!" I also think it would come off as lecture-y to other non-Jews who might then feel pressure to do it, which I really don't feel is necessary.

The last thing I want is for all my non-Jewish friends texting me to let me know they want me to have an easy fast, lol. I usually don't even fast! I'm a bad Jew.

I am OP - and I think this is a lot of it. The FB post was specifically aimed at other Christians - like, hey, Christians, here are the important Jewish holidays and don't bother your Jewish friends during them, but when you do see your Jewish friends here's what to say. Then of course there was the obligatory "please share" - and I was like, please don't! (In my head, I didn't say anything.)

But yeah, I can't remember the last time I celebrated Rosh Hashana or fasted for Yom Kippur. It feels very othering and presumptuous - and also sort of ignorant about how many of us are secular Jews? - to be lecturing one another about what to say and not say to Jewish people on those days. Just be normal, maybe? Be sensitive that some of your Jewish friends may be observing the holidays, and others may not be - like I don't presume that my Christian friends are totally unavailable on Good Friday but if they told me they'd be out of the office or something I would be fine with that, too.

PP here, and yes. I wonder if one thing that is happening here is that the people doing this are pretty devout Christians, and they assume that people in other religions are devout in the same ways. But I don't keep kosher, fast, or attend temple very often. Assuming that I observe my religion the same way you do is actually kind of limiting.

I disagree with the poster who said "damned if you do, damned if you don't." I think the key is: (1) don't be prejudiced, I'm not going to tolerate anti-semitic comments or actions, this is what I care about the most, and (2) if you're friends with someone, get to know them and maybe ask questions about their faith or religion. Anyone who actually knows me would know I'm not super observant. If someone is wishing me an easy fast, it's a sign that all they know about me is that I'm Jewish (which you could figure out from my name and appearance pretty easily). It's not actually that thoughtful.

What does this have to do with this thread????
If anything, an excellent way to combat and battle anti-semitism is through education and discussion, no?
OP is questioning those very things

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, well-intentioned but weird. I would roll my eyes hard at the Facebook post which is very obviously virtue signaling. Like even if you make a point to know this stuff and offer appropriate greetings, posting about it to Facebook is just a way of being like "Look how THOUGHTFUL and worldly I am!" I also think it would come off as lecture-y to other non-Jews who might then feel pressure to do it, which I really don't feel is necessary.

The last thing I want is for all my non-Jewish friends texting me to let me know they want me to have an easy fast, lol. I usually don't even fast! I'm a bad Jew.

I am OP - and I think this is a lot of it. The FB post was specifically aimed at other Christians - like, hey, Christians, here are the important Jewish holidays and don't bother your Jewish friends during them, but when you do see your Jewish friends here's what to say. Then of course there was the obligatory "please share" - and I was like, please don't! (In my head, I didn't say anything.)

But yeah, I can't remember the last time I celebrated Rosh Hashana or fasted for Yom Kippur. It feels very othering and presumptuous - and also sort of ignorant about how many of us are secular Jews? - to be lecturing one another about what to say and not say to Jewish people on those days. Just be normal, maybe? Be sensitive that some of your Jewish friends may be observing the holidays, and others may not be - like I don't presume that my Christian friends are totally unavailable on Good Friday but if they told me they'd be out of the office or something I would be fine with that, too.

PP here, and yes. I wonder if one thing that is happening here is that the people doing this are pretty devout Christians, and they assume that people in other religions are devout in the same ways. But I don't keep kosher, fast, or attend temple very often. Assuming that I observe my religion the same way you do is actually kind of limiting.

I disagree with the poster who said "damned if you do, damned if you don't." I think the key is: (1) don't be prejudiced, I'm not going to tolerate anti-semitic comments or actions, this is what I care about the most, and (2) if you're friends with someone, get to know them and maybe ask questions about their faith or religion. Anyone who actually knows me would know I'm not super observant. If someone is wishing me an easy fast, it's a sign that all they know about me is that I'm Jewish (which you could figure out from my name and appearance pretty easily). It's not actually that thoughtful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, well-intentioned but weird. I would roll my eyes hard at the Facebook post which is very obviously virtue signaling. Like even if you make a point to know this stuff and offer appropriate greetings, posting about it to Facebook is just a way of being like "Look how THOUGHTFUL and worldly I am!" I also think it would come off as lecture-y to other non-Jews who might then feel pressure to do it, which I really don't feel is necessary.

The last thing I want is for all my non-Jewish friends texting me to let me know they want me to have an easy fast, lol. I usually don't even fast! I'm a bad Jew.

I am OP - and I think this is a lot of it. The FB post was specifically aimed at other Christians - like, hey, Christians, here are the important Jewish holidays and don't bother your Jewish friends during them, but when you do see your Jewish friends here's what to say. Then of course there was the obligatory "please share" - and I was like, please don't! (In my head, I didn't say anything.)

But yeah, I can't remember the last time I celebrated Rosh Hashana or fasted for Yom Kippur. It feels very othering and presumptuous - and also sort of ignorant about how many of us are secular Jews? - to be lecturing one another about what to say and not say to Jewish people on those days. Just be normal, maybe? Be sensitive that some of your Jewish friends may be observing the holidays, and others may not be - like I don't presume that my Christian friends are totally unavailable on Good Friday but if they told me they'd be out of the office or something I would be fine with that, too.

PP here, and yes. I wonder if one thing that is happening here is that the people doing this are pretty devout Christians, and they assume that people in other religions are devout in the same ways. But I don't keep kosher, fast, or attend temple very often. Assuming that I observe my religion the same way you do is actually kind of limiting.

I disagree with the poster who said "damned if you do, damned if you don't." I think the key is: (1) don't be prejudiced, I'm not going to tolerate anti-semitic comments or actions, this is what I care about the most, and (2) if you're friends with someone, get to know them and maybe ask questions about their faith or religion. Anyone who actually knows me would know I'm not super observant. If someone is wishing me an easy fast, it's a sign that all they know about me is that I'm Jewish (which you could figure out from my name and appearance pretty easily). It's not actually that thoughtful.

Anonymous wrote:My college roommate is Jewish. Always wishes me happiness on a Christian holiday. I’m not offended. What’s the difference?