Anonymous wrote:Look for CARFE certified facilities, read the state accreditation reports, avoid for-profits.

A number of our retired neighbors moved to Asbury Methodist Village and love it.

This is where my friend with Parkinson's went and she really likes it. She's been able to stay socially engaged there despite needing more care and the therapeutic support has been great. -PP upthread

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure where you are but if in Montgomery County, take a look at Kensington Park, Cadence, The Seneca, Brightview West End and Moderna Reserve. As other said, they become cliquey based on physical and emotional health. The emotionally healthy tend to want to be away from the ones who are beginning to fade and generally won’t sit with them at meals or interact with them.

This is so true. It's like middle school all over again, complete with mean girls.

So true. My mother, unfortunately, is a natural mean girl. She immediately figured out who the other mean girls were. And now I get to hear all about how mean they are. [eyeroll]

But it has been wonderful for her. She spent the COVID years basically talking to no one. Now she's too busy to return my calls. And she's eating real food. Costs a fortune, but she can afford it.

She does fear having to move into AL someday. That section of the facility is a lot less vibrant.

Another point is to check carefully the terms of the post-death refund of buy-in money. If getting paid back is contingent on, for example, the facility reselling that specific unit, recoupment could take a whole.

Anonymous wrote:Not sure where you are but if in Montgomery County, take a look at Kensington Park, Cadence, The Seneca, Brightview West End and Moderna Reserve. As other said, they become cliquey based on physical and emotional health. The emotionally healthy tend to want to be away from the ones who are beginning to fade and generally won’t sit with them at meals or interact with them.

This is so true. It's like middle school all over again, complete with mean girls.

The glossy brochures make it all look good. What matters is how the facility operates day-to-day AND what it really cost and the costs increase over time. And what isn't delivered, though they say it's an amenity.
-housekeeping
-reliable transportation
-doctors visiting, of any significance
-hours of operation, and fully operational: pool, hobby rooms, fitness, classes

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He’s almost 82 and has decent resources (including a nice pension) and a beautiful home to sell, but at his age a buy-in makes little sense (to all of us) so we are limiting the search to monthly rental places. I’ll check out the Erickson places.

At 82 I’d definitely be thinking about finding a place he can age into. You don’t want to be doing this search again in five years.

Not sure where you live, but I looked into a facility called “All-American” for a relative and it seemed very nice. They seemed to be targeting a bit more of a middle-class population. Here’s a list of their locations: https://kapdev.com/community-locations/

Anonymous wrote:My Dad is at Brightview and really likes it.

Brightview is monthly charges , no buy-in, so definitely worth looking at.

My parents moved to Greenspring (an Erickson facility) and it was great for them.

My advice:
1) find a place with a full time medical facility on site (and a pharmacy that takes their insurance). As they get older, little tiny things start to crop up. Having an on-site facility was a god send!

2) find one close to you. In the beginning, while getting them settled, I was there 3-5 times a week. After a few months, I was there 1-2 a week. Then towards the end I was there 6-7 days a week. At one point, I slept there every night for 2 months. (Come home for dinner and see DH and DS, then go over)
Luckily their place was only 15-20 mins away. Don’t pick a place that you have to drive over 45+ minutes or you’ll drive yourself insane!

My Dad is at Brightview and really likes it.

My dad (who also had a nice pension) moved to a nonprofit CCC with monthly rent and was quite comfortable in his one-bedroom independent living apartment. When he needed AL services the last few months of his life, it was a godsend to keep him where he was and not have to uproot him. Their were also in-house medical services, which were also hugely helpful as he died in the winter and it had become too cold and difficult for him to go to outside doctor's appointments. By chance, his floor was a mixed one (IL and AL) so he didn't have to move within the building to an AL apartment. The services all came to him.

I spent a lot of time with him at the community and got a feel for the place. I noticed that there were far fewer men than women, and the men tended to participate in very few of the offered activities compared to the women. You will find that most people in CCCs are in their 80s and moved in when they were already quite old.

Look for CARFE certified facilities, read the state accreditation reports, avoid for-profits.

A number of our retired neighbors moved to Asbury Methodist Village and love it.

Not sure where you are but if in Montgomery County, take a look at Kensington Park, Cadence, The Seneca, Brightview West End and Moderna Reserve. As other said, they become cliquey based on physical and emotional health. The emotionally healthy tend to want to be away from the ones who are beginning to fade and generally won’t sit with them at meals or interact with them.

Erickson properties are buy in. You get 90% back when the resident passes or moves out. That said, they are generally well run and attractive CCRCs. Many people chose to age in place in their IL apartments with additional help/aides rather than moving to the assisted living section. You might want to visit a local CCRC and get a tour just to have a better sense of the options even if your father is looking outside of the DMV.

This is OP. He’s almost 82 and has decent resources (including a nice pension) and a beautiful home to sell, but at his age a buy-in makes little sense (to all of us) so we are limiting the search to monthly rental places. I’ll check out the Erickson places.