No one is taking advantage of you, OP.

Anonymous wrote:OP, as soon as I read the first sentence of your post, I was going to ask if your daughter was an only child. And sure enough, your brother confirms this. I am pretty sure this is like the 4th or 5th post I've seen complaining about the same thing on DCUM and it always comes out that the perpetual hoster has an only child. Parents with multiple children definitely have more on their plates. They are also less desperate for their kids to have playdates, get-togethers, sleepovers etc. with other children because their own kids already have each others' company. I can commiserate with you because I have an only child, now a teen, and yes I did host like 90% of the time. I am happy to continue doing so because it benefits my kid. Let go of the expectation that others will host equally, because keeping tally will just make you miserable.

Correction, your post. I have no idea what crazy autocorrect happened here

OP, as soon as I read the first sentence of your post, I was going to ask if your daughter was an only child. And sure enough, your brother confirms this. I am pretty sure this is like the 4th or 5th post I've seen complaining about the same thing on DCUM and it always comes out that the perpetual hoster has an only child. Parents with multiple children definitely have more on their plates. They are also less desperate for their kids to have playdates, get-togethers, sleepovers etc. with other children because their own kids already have each others' company. I can commiserate with you because I have an only child, now a teen, and yes I did host like 90% of the time. I am happy to continue doing so because it benefits my kid. Let go of the expectation that others will host equally, because keeping tally will just make you miserable.

Anonymous wrote:You said yourself that you enjoy sleepovers. We hate them. I don’t sleep well and my kid is cranky the next day. The crankiness only seems worse that they are teens with busier schedules now. I deal with it if they aren’t too frequent and not at my house but I’m not hosting. I’m fine if you stop. I’m happy to drive them somewhere and be the ride both ways to the mall, movies, restaurants or wherever else they want to go if they plan it. I’m not into hosting sleepovers at my house.

+1 yep, this is me exactly. I’m the first parent to offer to drive, and even both ways- no problem usually. Fine with paying for movie tickets etc for a few friends within reason too and/or will give my kids $ to treat friends to snacks or Starbucks or whatever. I just haaaate sleepovers and even extended visits at our house (if a kid is here all day etc) I really am not a fan of. I do not expect other parents to host at their homes either, so fine to stop if they want to!

We have a small house without a rec room or play room or finished basement, and my son doesn’t want to host any more. There is nowhere to go where you can’t be overheard by parents. Guess that’s no fun for teen boys!

Anonymous wrote:I love my daughter, I love my daughter's many friends. I enjoy sleepovers and do my best to make sure that they have a good dinner and breakfast and are comfortable.

What I don't love is that my daughter's friend's rarely reciprocate.

She is an only child and most of her friend's have brother's and sister's so is this because the other parents likely have more on their plate or just don't realize or what? It's not a huge problem and I know that my daughter is certainly polite enough, but I'm just getting tired of having kids over and never having her invited out. Is there something I'm missing, or is everyone just too busy these days? Or am I being taken advantage of?

VBA. You want everyone to know you have the teen hangout house, amrite?

Anonymous wrote:If you host Americans, it will not be reciprocated. It is because they are classless, mannerless, lazy, dirty, low energy, dysfunctional, selfish, miserly and broke.

Make peace with it. They are uncouth but you should continue to host because you must teach better to your kids, and you don't really want your kids to go to their dirty homes, do you?

If not for Americans, who would come to the sleepover? We're in America, no?

I echo what many others have said.

I have several kids close in age, and our schedule can be very hectic + potential of siblings being bothersome. We also have a large young dog who is friendly yet still hyper- I usually try to put her away and/or manage when friends are over which can be inconvenient. Our space also isn’t the best for hosting teens- no private area (rec room etc) where they can have a bit of privacy, and all the bedrooms (including ours) grouped in same hallway and noise carries.

However: I try to make up for this by offering to drive a lot- I do far more than my share. We also have a pool so have kids over a lot more often in the summer- to swim and etc, when they can mostly be outside.

The homes with only children/no bothersome siblings around, and/or a great entertaining space for teens tend to be where the kids hang out.

I have never liked sleepovers, at my house or others. Just not a big fan, for many reasons.

If you host Americans, it will not be reciprocated. It is because they are classless, mannerless, lazy, dirty, low energy, dysfunctional, selfish, miserly and broke.

Make peace with it. They are uncouth but you should continue to host because you must teach better to your kids, and you don't really want your kids to go to their dirty homes, do you?

Everyone is jumping on OP about sleepovers, but she didn’t indicate that’s what she’s expecting. Just that it would be nice for her kid to be invited out.

I get that. I have two kids, host a lot because they want to and I don’t mind, but it’s mostly reciprocated. My kids would be sad if they were never invited to friends’ houses.

Others having multiple kids is probably part of it—more going on and more challenging to organize. But some people are either oblivious, or just don’t like to host.

Instead of the sleepovers which include dinner AND breakfast, host a movie night, make popcorn and send everyone home at 11.

You said yourself that you enjoy sleepovers. We hate them. I don’t sleep well and my kid is cranky the next day. The crankiness only seems worse that they are teens with busier schedules now. I deal with it if they aren’t too frequent and not at my house but I’m not hosting. I’m fine if you stop. I’m happy to drive them somewhere and be the ride both ways to the mall, movies, restaurants or wherever else they want to go if they plan it. I’m not into hosting sleepovers at my house.

Are you sure it’s the parents? Because what I find is that the kids themselves once older than grade school like to have sleepovers at certain houses. They like places with private spaces, chill parents and no siblings to bother them. So the kids might be the ones driving this since they usually make the plans first at this age.

The older she gets the happier you will be at this arrangement. You won't have to worry about permissive parents who let the sneak out or experiment with alcohol or drugs.

Stop hosting if it bothers you so much.