Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parent has spent all of their assets, unless you live in a jurisdiction that has and enforced filial responsibility, you wouldn’t be footing the bill for anything unless you want to offer the new spouse an “upgrade” from whatever Medicaid has to offer.

Right. My parent has enough for a comfortable retirement and end of life care. My goal is to help them preserve that and not spend down their assets on their new spouse. For what it's worth, new spouse also has means, as do their kids. Just looking for ideas on how to help, but recognizing my help may not be wanted. If my parent is open to going with me or one of my siblings to talk to an elder law specialist, should we be asking about a certain kind of trust, for example (I doubt an irrevocable one is going to be well received)? And can an already married person put assets in a trust without the consent of their spouse?

Marriage is a commitment to do just that though. It's joining two people to become one. If your parent wants to get married, this is what they are choosing to do. Is your parent mentally competent to make this choice? If yes, then back off. If no, then get them declared mentally incompetent and they will not be allowed to enter a legally binding contract like marriage, and their money will be safe.

If your parent starts spending their money on a spouse's care, you can make it clear that you won't be able to support for parent should they spend all their money (this would be fine to do if your parents were still married too).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parent has spent all of their assets, unless you live in a jurisdiction that has and enforced filial responsibility, you wouldn’t be footing the bill for anything unless you want to offer the new spouse an “upgrade” from whatever Medicaid has to offer.

Right. My parent has enough for a comfortable retirement and end of life care. My goal is to help them preserve that and not spend down their assets on their new spouse. For what it's worth, new spouse also has means, as do their kids. Just looking for ideas on how to help, but recognizing my help may not be wanted. If my parent is open to going with me or one of my siblings to talk to an elder law specialist, should we be asking about a certain kind of trust, for example (I doubt an irrevocable one is going to be well received)? And can an already married person put assets in a trust without the consent of their spouse?

Marriage is a commitment to do just that though. It's joining two people to become one. If your parent wants to get married, this is what they are choosing to do. Is your parent mentally competent to make this choice? If yes, then back off. If no, then get them declared mentally incompetent and they will not be allowed to enter a legally binding contract like marriage, and their money will be safe.