Anonymous
08/22/2023 12:15
Subject: Re:ILs comments on drinking
Anonymous wrote:Boomers have a big drinking culture which involves others drinking. I remember in the 80s that every house including ours had a bar somewhere usually in a family or living room or at least in a finished basement. It was always fully stocked so a whatever cocktail anyone wanted could be made, wine cellars came later. Our boomer relatives are always trying to give kids just a sip as teaching drinking is a right of passage for them. No my 10 year old doesn’t want a sip of scotch.
I would ignore the stupid comments. It’s doubtful that your kids will think drinking is cool because grandma is a drinker. If anything, it will make them think drinking is a gross old people thing.
It’s not generational, it’s just the people you know. I know plenty of retirees, parents of my friends etc who don’t touch alcohol.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 12:13
Subject: Re:ILs comments on drinking
Boomers have a big drinking culture which involves others drinking. I remember in the 80s that every house including ours had a bar somewhere usually in a family or living room or at least in a finished basement. It was always fully stocked so a whatever cocktail anyone wanted could be made, wine cellars came later. Our boomer relatives are always trying to give kids just a sip as teaching drinking is a right of passage for them. No my 10 year old doesn’t want a sip of scotch.
I would ignore the stupid comments. It’s doubtful that your kids will think drinking is cool because grandma is a drinker. If anything, it will make them think drinking is a gross old people thing.
I would ignore the stupid comments. It’s doubtful that your kids will think drinking is cool because grandma is a drinker. If anything, it will make them think drinking is a gross old people thing.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 12:07
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just smile. Not worth “shutting it down” if it’s just an annoying remark.
I’m not going to teach my kids to “just smile” in the face of peer pressure, but you do you.
The key is that you don’t give in to pressure to drink, not whether you “shut it down” with words. The kids will be seeing that you’ve been pressured and yet stand your ground, and that’s a good thing. My advice wouldn’t be the same if this weren’t DH’s parents though, I’m offering them a courtesy I wouldn’t usually for the sake of smooth in law relations - in these cases, I pick my battles.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:33
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just smile. Not worth “shutting it down” if it’s just an annoying remark.
I’m not going to teach my kids to “just smile” in the face of peer pressure, but you do you.
Oh please, a comment is not peer pressure.
That’s literally what peer pressure is. “We didn’t raise you right,” “oh come on, have a REAL drink,” “why not?!” If you don’t know the type, you are the type, and just stop. Really.
I don't drink, so I guess your assumption is wrong.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:30
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
Yeah. They’re alcoholics. And I’m def not one to jump in and scream “alcoholics” like some here are. But 1-2 beers + a cocktail + wine with dinner - daily- that’s a problem.
I might not say anything to them, but I’d say something to my kids.
My MIL drinks a lot and my 16 & 14 yo make fun of her behind her back. They know it’s wrong. She also smokes, and they make fun of that too. Kids get more than you think they do.
I might not say anything to them, but I’d say something to my kids.
My MIL drinks a lot and my 16 & 14 yo make fun of her behind her back. They know it’s wrong. She also smokes, and they make fun of that too. Kids get more than you think they do.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:29
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just smile. Not worth “shutting it down” if it’s just an annoying remark.
I’m not going to teach my kids to “just smile” in the face of peer pressure, but you do you.
Oh please, a comment is not peer pressure.
That’s literally what peer pressure is. “We didn’t raise you right,” “oh come on, have a REAL drink,” “why not?!” If you don’t know the type, you are the type, and just stop. Really.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:24
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just smile. Not worth “shutting it down” if it’s just an annoying remark.
I’m not going to teach my kids to “just smile” in the face of peer pressure, but you do you.
Oh please, a comment is not peer pressure.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:22
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
Can't you just have a conversation about peer pressure and explain that it isn't only during teen/high school years? Our entire lives we have to navigate peer pressure in one form or another, so teach your kids how to handle it by being a good role model.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:18
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
Anonymous wrote:Just smile. Not worth “shutting it down” if it’s just an annoying remark.
I’m not going to teach my kids to “just smile” in the face of peer pressure, but you do you.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:14
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
Just smile. Not worth “shutting it down” if it’s just an annoying remark.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:14
Subject: Re:ILs comments on drinking
Anonymous wrote:I would just lighten up, not stress about it, and say to each his/her own.
Um, that’s literally what OP and DH want: to each his or her own. They are not the ones commenting on whether other people drink alcohol, or when, or how much. Do you get it?
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:13
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
How old are your kids? How often do you see the ILs? If the kids are teens, I would talk to them directly about it - it would be good for them to see you setting the example of standing up to peer pressure. There will likely be people pressuring them to have a drink sometime at HS or college parties, and you want to show them that they can/shoild decline over and over.
Agree it’s also a good idea to have your DH talk to his parents because ILs behavior is in appropriate AND that amount of alcohol every day is not good!
Agree it’s also a good idea to have your DH talk to his parents because ILs behavior is in appropriate AND that amount of alcohol every day is not good!
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:12
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
Why not rejoice in the fact that they are choosing an unhealthy lifestyle that will hasten their demise? Think of all the future problems it will resolve. Live and let live.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:08
Subject: Re:ILs comments on drinking
I would just lighten up, not stress about it, and say to each his/her own.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 11:04
Subject: ILs comments on drinking
Anonymous wrote:lemonade has its issues as wellAnonymous wrote:Just say "mmm a lemonade sounds perfect to me right now" and do that. The kids also agree that lemonade is preferable. It gets everyone comfortable with a fact of life that some people are drinking but you can have something else. Kids get that.
No, lemonade has “calories.” Those of us who are a healthy weight and don’t have to obsess over every little calorie enjoy lemonade sometimes. I’m sorry you have no wiggle room, but plenty of wiggle.