Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been dating a guy for 3 months. It’s been a very good time, which seems to be mutual. We act like boyfriend/girlfriend….socialize together, see each other a lot, regular overnights etc. He has to go overseas for work for 3 months at the beginning of next year. I had a DTR talk with him recently, and shared that I’d like us to be official, and we can take a pause while he’s away then decide if we want to link back up when he’s back.

He was pretty evasive in the convo. Said he wasn’t sure how we should approach things since he’d be leaving, but that he has been enjoying himself and acknowledged that we act like a couple. Then a few hours later asked me to meet his sister when she comes to town tomorrow.

I like him, but it’s weird he can’t just call us an official couple. I don’t like acting like a girlfriend, but not being one. Am I being reasonable?

No. It's only been three months.

Those are my thoughts as well.

Hard disagree and this perspective is part of why dating is so horrible today.

Three months is more than enough time to know whether you want something serious with someone.

My now-husband made it exclusive very fast after meeting me. It was so different than I was used to (in a good way!) and I said “but what if we don’t like each other?” And he said “we’ll break up.”

That made so much sense to me! People can always break up. But there is no reason to spend multiple seasons spending time with, getting to know, and *having sex* with someone who isn’t even sure if they want to be exclusive with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been dating a guy for 3 months. It’s been a very good time, which seems to be mutual. We act like boyfriend/girlfriend….socialize together, see each other a lot, regular overnights etc. He has to go overseas for work for 3 months at the beginning of next year. I had a DTR talk with him recently, and shared that I’d like us to be official, and we can take a pause while he’s away then decide if we want to link back up when he’s back.

He was pretty evasive in the convo. Said he wasn’t sure how we should approach things since he’d be leaving, but that he has been enjoying himself and acknowledged that we act like a couple. Then a few hours later asked me to meet his sister when she comes to town tomorrow.

I like him, but it’s weird he can’t just call us an official couple. I don’t like acting like a girlfriend, but not being one. Am I being reasonable?

No. It's only been three months.

Those are my thoughts as well.

Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you. This is liberating. Once you realize men who want you act like they want you, you can stop messing around and live your life. Cut him loose. You deserve a man who makes you feel sure he wants you.

Anonymous wrote:It’s only been three months and he’s leaving in a few months for awhile. Why does there have to be definition? What’s “acting like a boyfriend or girlfriend” and how does that differ from dating? Can’t you just roll with it and enjoy the time you’re spending together without having a label?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think knowing that he will be gone for three months next year is a good enough reason why he is unable to commit right now.

I think it would be hard (though not impossible) for him to become exclusive knowing that he will be leaving in five months or so.

On the other hand, if you guys did commit now you COULD do a long-distance relationship if you were serious about each other.

My best guess is he enjoys being single.

I don’t get why it’s hard? I don’t expect us to be exclusive while he’s gone.

I think it might not make sense to him to be committed and exclusive, knowing that he's leaving in a few months. That's a temporary commitment; it's kind of odd to say "only sleep with me for now, then we'll both be free to date/sleep with other people for three months, then we'll be exclusive again." It seems reasonable to you, but I can see why he's not jumping on board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think knowing that he will be gone for three months next year is a good enough reason why he is unable to commit right now.

I think it would be hard (though not impossible) for him to become exclusive knowing that he will be leaving in five months or so.

On the other hand, if you guys did commit now you COULD do a long-distance relationship if you were serious about each other.

My best guess is he enjoys being single.

I don’t get why it’s hard? I don’t expect us to be exclusive while he’s gone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think knowing that he will be gone for three months next year is a good enough reason why he is unable to commit right now.

I think it would be hard (though not impossible) for him to become exclusive knowing that he will be leaving in five months or so.

On the other hand, if you guys did commit now you COULD do a long-distance relationship if you were serious about each other.

My best guess is he enjoys being single.

I don’t get why it’s hard? I don’t expect us to be exclusive while he’s gone. [/quote

It’s not hard necessarily but in his mind it probably doesn’t make sense to make a bigger commitment for a few months then open the relationship back up when he leaves. It’s just easier to leave things as they are for now.