Agree on parents changing jobs/shifts to accommodate their childcare needs.

My mother worked 9-3 on school days and made up the extra hours by working 8-12 on Saturdays when my dad was home.

All the possible scenarios need to discussed prior to having children, of course.

Anonymous wrote:My parents (60s) provided 2 hours a day for me -- they picked up my kids from (pre)school, fed them a snack and watched TV with them til I picked them up. I felt this was a fabulous privilege til high school when they went home alone or over to friends' house or after school activity. My kids and their grandparents have a close relationship.

Definitely not all day!

I had a similar situation. My kids grew up watching Dr. Phil with their grandparents every afternoon!

Does the friend have a voice? She should ask her mother how it’s going.

How about trying to find a part-time mother's helper to help the grandparents. During the summer, you can get a high school student and then when school starts, have them come over after school. Pay them to help keep the toddler engaged so that the grandparents can rest or take care of other things (like meals, chores, cleaning up, etc). We have several older kids in our neighborhood who have played with my kids when they were little at the playground or when they see them out in the neighborhood. Some of them would be happy to earn some spending money after school and during the summer.

Actually, even a middle school student might be interested in the same.

My mother watched my first baby fulltime from 3 months (end of maternity leave) and at 6 months told me she couldn't do it anymore. She was 60. Rather than send him to daycare I took a demotion at work to a shift position (evenings and weekends) which meant she only had to watch him two afternoons a week until my husband got home. We were all much happier. Now that my kids are older she picks them up from school two afternoons a week and they enjoy their time together. My career will never recover and I don't really care; I enjoy the part-time work.

OP's parents are in their 60s

Part of this depends too on family background and culture. There are some cultures where it is expected grandmothers care for their first grandchildren at least...which was fine back when grandmothers were 40 when their first grandkids were born.

My parents (60s) provided 2 hours a day for me -- they picked up my kids from (pre)school, fed them a snack and watched TV with them til I picked them up. I felt this was a fabulous privilege til high school when they went home alone or over to friends' house or after school activity. My kids and their grandparents have a close relationship.

Definitely not all day!

Anonymous wrote:Lower paid spouse drops the job, or else you can afford to pay for child care but maybe can't afford your current house.

Are they really unable to afford childcare or unwilling to afford it? There are vouchers and programs for those truly unable to afford it. If your friend just doesn’t want to sacrifice something else to pay for it, that’s a different story.