Anonymous
Post 08/17/2023 19:06     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
I too find pockets rather overhyped.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2023 18:14     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:I think you are being too kind to yourself as you call yourself a contrarian. What you are is closed minded. It's a very negative trait. It means you won't consider any other opinion but your own. Imagine if everyone was like that. Nobody would ever grow and change and improve.

OTOH I will not wear any outfit that does not have pockets. Ever. For any occasion. As a woman. That's what works for me. I also would never consider trying to convince anyone else to do what I do as far as pockets are concerned. It does not matter.


No duh it's a very negative trait. Why do you think I want to change?
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2023 18:13     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have issues with authority? I am also a contrarian and I think my tendency is tied to oppositional defiant disorder or something akin. I do not know how to solve, I am also working on this. Empathy exercises are helping me.


Interesting suggestion. I actually have major anxiety issues around authority, so I wonder if it's related.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2023 15:53     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with me? I swear that during every online conversation and half the ones I have in person, I walk away thinking the exact opposite of everyone else. I've done a ton of soul-searching over this. I've tried therapy, and multiple people have told me to just embrace being different. I don't think I'm that smart. Certainly not smarter than most people online. Is this some sort of mental illness? What's wrong with me?

Examples, since I know people will ask, though it's not really about the topics themselves.

1. My neighbors kill snakes. I've tried to explain why they're useful, to deaf ears.
2. I am the only person in my professional and preferred circles to fly my preferred airline.
3. I hate pockets. Every conversation that revolves women desiring them leaves me feeling like I don't belong.
4. Politics. It doesn't matter which sides I'm talking with or listening to, I disagree.
Are you saying that you went into that convo about snakes already pro-snake, or that you had no opinion going in but came out pro-snake? And if the latter, is the problem that you think if your neighbor had been pro-snake and trying to attract them, then you would have been anti-snake?
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2023 13:51     Subject: Re:I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
In regards to politics, personally, there are things I disagree with in both parties. Since the two parties tend to stand in opposition, this means that there are also things I agree with in both parties.

When you’re talking to someone from one side and disagree with what they’re saying, can you remember/imagine what you disagree with someone on the other side about to find possible common ground with the person you’re talking with?
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2023 12:42     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb thread. People disagree about everything. Evidence: DCUM. Evidence: all social media. Evidence: the political landscape.

One of my neighbors and my husband and pro-snake. Plenty of people prefer your preferred airline, or it wouldn’t exist, dummy!

Your opinions are not that special. Do you get that?


Yes. Which is why I hate them. I want to think like everyone else, and I can't force myself there.


YOU DO think like everything else! Tell us all your “specccciallllllll opppinnions” and we will confirm that we personally share them, or we personally know people who share them. You are not special! I think that’s what’s really bothering you: you are not special.


Then why do I not understand any prevailing opinion here?


There is rarely a "prevailing opinion" here, which is why we have 20-page threads dedicated to thank you cards, and people are currently trashing each other over mid-century modern furniture. Duh. The whole point of DCUM is that there isn't a "prevailing opinion" about beach houses, skinny jeans, politics, or anything.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2023 00:49     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
I think you are being too kind to yourself as you call yourself a contrarian. What you are is closed minded. It's a very negative trait. It means you won't consider any other opinion but your own. Imagine if everyone was like that. Nobody would ever grow and change and improve.

OTOH I will not wear any outfit that does not have pockets. Ever. For any occasion. As a woman. That's what works for me. I also would never consider trying to convince anyone else to do what I do as far as pockets are concerned. It does not matter.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2023 00:26     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
OP, do you have issues with authority? I am also a contrarian and I think my tendency is tied to oppositional defiant disorder or something akin. I do not know how to solve, I am also working on this. Empathy exercises are helping me.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2023 00:07     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb thread. People disagree about everything. Evidence: DCUM. Evidence: all social media. Evidence: the political landscape.

One of my neighbors and my husband and pro-snake. Plenty of people prefer your preferred airline, or it wouldn’t exist, dummy!

Your opinions are not that special. Do you get that?


Yes. Which is why I hate them. I want to think like everyone else, and I can't force myself there.


YOU DO think like everything else! Tell us all your “specccciallllllll opppinnions” and we will confirm that we personally share them, or we personally know people who share them. You are not special! I think that’s what’s really bothering you: you are not special.


Then why do I not understand any prevailing opinion here?
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2023 19:18     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb thread. People disagree about everything. Evidence: DCUM. Evidence: all social media. Evidence: the political landscape.

One of my neighbors and my husband and pro-snake. Plenty of people prefer your preferred airline, or it wouldn’t exist, dummy!

Your opinions are not that special. Do you get that?

Obviously OP disagrees.


Hahaha end thread
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2023 19:12     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What are your DCUM positions?


Ha. DCUM is what made me realize I have a problem.


I noticed you refused to answer the question.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2023 19:07     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:Are you a lawyer by any chance? My spouse is and always has to give the contrarian view when I give an opinion or even when I state something I happen to know is factual. It's annoying!


Are we married to the same lawyer? LOL
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2023 18:30     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb thread. People disagree about everything. Evidence: DCUM. Evidence: all social media. Evidence: the political landscape.

One of my neighbors and my husband and pro-snake. Plenty of people prefer your preferred airline, or it wouldn’t exist, dummy!

Your opinions are not that special. Do you get that?

Obviously OP disagrees.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2023 18:26     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb thread. People disagree about everything. Evidence: DCUM. Evidence: all social media. Evidence: the political landscape.

One of my neighbors and my husband and pro-snake. Plenty of people prefer your preferred airline, or it wouldn’t exist, dummy!

Your opinions are not that special. Do you get that?


Yes. Which is why I hate them. I want to think like everyone else, and I can't force myself there.


YOU DO think like everything else! Tell us all your “specccciallllllll opppinnions” and we will confirm that we personally share them, or we personally know people who share them. You are not special! I think that’s what’s really bothering you: you are not special.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2023 18:23     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb thread. People disagree about everything. Evidence: DCUM. Evidence: all social media. Evidence: the political landscape.

One of my neighbors and my husband and pro-snake. Plenty of people prefer your preferred airline, or it wouldn’t exist, dummy!

Your opinions are not that special. Do you get that?


Yes. Which is why I hate them. I want to think like everyone else, and I can't force myself there.