When i was a single mom by choice I adopted so I could specify a girl. I was not going to accept a boy as a single mom.

A few years later I got married and we adopted together -- this time I had no preference and we received a boy. We all got what we wanted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine wanting a child of a particular sex. It is pretty disgusting.

I think people who pretend it doesn’t matter are liars.

Really didn't matter to me. My oldest is a girl and when we were pregnant with my second, my whole family shared their hopes/premonitions/assurances that it would be a boy (both so I could have "one of each" and because, of course, boys are preferred). It gave me a lot of anxiety, because I felt like having another girl would disappoint everyone, even though I truly didn't care.

I had a second girl and love them both to pieces. No part of me cared or cares about the gender. It's toxic and also pointless, since we don't have control over it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine wanting a child of a particular sex. It is pretty disgusting.

I think people who pretend it doesn’t matter are liars.

I think there truly are some people who don’t care. Though probably the majority have a slight preference, but most are fine in the end with whatever they get.

I feel like IVF with sex selection is the best option for these people. They call it "family balancing."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine wanting a child of a particular sex. It is pretty disgusting.

I think people who pretend it doesn’t matter are liars.

meh. I had really wanted a girl but my first and only is a boy. I can’t imagine anything different now and am super happy with having a boy. So now do I think it doesn’t matter? Yup.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine wanting a child of a particular sex. It is pretty disgusting.

I think people who pretend it doesn’t matter are liars.

I had a girl, then a boy, then another boy. People were so confused why I would have another when I already had the “perfect pair,” ha.

I can’t imagine wanting a child of a particular sex. It is pretty disgusting.

My friends have 5 girls. The husband was a football star in HS and went to college on a football scholarship. He desperately wanted a boy.

My neighbor has 6 boys. Done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Math puzzle: suppose everyone does this: has babies until they get a girl, and then stop.

Some families have 1 girl. Some have 1 boy and one girl. Some have 2 boys and 1 girl. Etc.

What is the resulting overall ratio of boys:girls across the population?

That's a trick question. It's still 1:1 ratio because each birth is 50/50 random.

Sort of. While that is roughly the birth ratio for the overall population, each individual man/woman pair has different odds.

This couple had 13 boys in a row. No girls, no interventions or gender selections or anything like that.

https://www.cnn.com/2015/05/14/health/feat-michigan-couple-13-sons/index.html

Anonymous wrote:More often it is the reverse; keep having kids until the boy is born. If you can afford it, why not?

No one with a lot of kids wants to hear this, but neglect is common in large families, even those with considerable financial resources. Children do better with more one-on-one time with caregivers, especially parents (nannies do offer good one-on-one time but in very large families even this is shared). At some point in having kids, it is simply not possible to truly know all your kids well. There WILL be a child or children who don't get enough attention or emotional support, and it will screw up that kid.

Certain resources (especially time and attention) are finite. Some families can extend the number of kids they can feasibly have if they have more adults involved (very involved grandparents, for instance) or can really pay for more one-on-one time. So it's not like there's a set number, like don't have more than 2 or don't have more than 4 -- some people can handle those numbers. But there IS a number at which the family will be overtaxed and some or all kids will experience some form of neglect. Thus, having children until you get a specific gender actually is a bad idea, because it will no doubt push people past whatever their particular max on kids is in order to get the girl.

I know of families with 8 or 9 children where the last child is opposite gender of the others -- one or both parents was clearly waiting on their boy/girl. Every one of these families has neglected kids and bad outcomes as a result. It's a terrible idea.

Anonymous wrote:More often it is the reverse; keep having kids until the boy is born. If you can afford it, why not?

I disagree. I think here, it is all about getting the girl.

Like this family?

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2020/11/08/us/family-with-14-sons-welcomes-daughter-trnd/index.html

I have a family member who has 4 boys... they were hoping the last one would be a girl but they ended up quitting with 4 and didnt want to risk 5 boys LOL.