Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:46
Subject: Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
Anonymous wrote:We kept it low key when they were really little. Things within driving distance, air bnbs without stairs etc. [/quote
+1
This is the way. Short in duration is the key.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:45
Subject: Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
How my travel changed after kids:
1. non-stop flights. seriously. even one layover is too many.
2. always check a big bag now, it's easier than several little carry-ons with little kids
3. early check-in/late check-in for hotels
4. book hotels with kitchenettes because it's nice to have the option to not have to go out for meals.
5. This may be controversial, but I avoid airbnbs because they are far less baby-proofable than hotels, plus you have little recourse if things go wrong (can't just switch you to another room).
6. always have a health plan (know locations of children's hospitals in case someone gets ill especially)
7. use public transit so you don't have to fuss too much with car seats when flying
8. focus is on fun family time and less on doing lots of things.
Lower your expectations, you are parenting in a new location which is fun but more exhausting than being at home. But it's still fun and worth it.
1. non-stop flights. seriously. even one layover is too many.
2. always check a big bag now, it's easier than several little carry-ons with little kids
3. early check-in/late check-in for hotels
4. book hotels with kitchenettes because it's nice to have the option to not have to go out for meals.
5. This may be controversial, but I avoid airbnbs because they are far less baby-proofable than hotels, plus you have little recourse if things go wrong (can't just switch you to another room).
6. always have a health plan (know locations of children's hospitals in case someone gets ill especially)
7. use public transit so you don't have to fuss too much with car seats when flying
8. focus is on fun family time and less on doing lots of things.
Lower your expectations, you are parenting in a new location which is fun but more exhausting than being at home. But it's still fun and worth it.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:42
Subject: Re:Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
The only reason we did it was because we took a nanny with us.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:36
Subject: Re:Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
Anonymous wrote:For us, we limit to simple trips (drive or domestic flight) to see other people. We do as much as possible to make them as logistically easy for us, and we are adamant about sleeping arrangements and staying on their sleep schedule to the largest degree possible (though when we had a two-napper, morning nap was often in the stroller).
So, we visit family and friends and do beach trips with family and friends, and that’s it. Kids are 3.5 and 2 and that’s still our jam.
That being said, this is a VERY personal decision, and it took me a few years of parenting to drop the guilt on this. Your kids do NOT need or want travel when they are still at napping age. I honestly think there are no benefits to them directly at these ages. But it’s also not bad for them - it’s completely neutral (as long as it isn’t so frequent and so sleep disruptive as to lead to them becoming perma-exhausted, which would be extreme). Which means if YOU want to travel, if those logistics sound fun or worth it to you, do it! If it sounds like repeatedly pouring lemon juice on a fresh paper cut, then don’t. Really. If Morocco sounds great, and everyone’s like “omg you are crazy,” tell them to f*ck off and go! If the idea of taking your 3 year old to grandmas for the weekend sounds like more than you can handle, then don’t go. Grandma can come to you or wait until you’re ready. Really. There are no awards for this. As far as travel, do what keeps you and your partner happy, fulfilled and sane, and the kids will be fine either way.
One more note on the “none of this is universal” front: the attitude I’ve seen above is common - traveling with an infant is easy because they’re portable, then it’s hard from 1-2.5, then it gets easier. But for me that is absolutely not the case. So far, for both kids, improvement has been remarkably linear. We took a simple Christmas trip to see helpful family a reasonable drive away when my youngest was a newborn and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I hated absolutely every second of it. For me personally, I would never ever do a trip with an under 5 month old again. And we severely limit trips under age 1, as those are still a struggle. But I do much better with the 1-2.5 age range, to me it just gets easier and easier as they get older, I never experienced a dip.
Thank you for this. I think there is some weird guilt that I'm working to pinpoint
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:33
Subject: Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
Anonymous wrote:I’ve on the whole enjoyed every trip except 1-2.5 years old. To me that is the least pleasant. Because you have to be on top of them every second and their sleep is messed up and they barely enjoy the new experiences anyway.
Under 1 is reasonably easy to tote along and 2.5+ is easier to manage and more fun.
This was my exact experience too. Once my oldest was about 2.5-3 and the younger was like 6-12 months old, we could do some trips with plane travel b/c the oldest could somewhat listen and stay near us, and the baby could be toted.
But I found about 18-30 months is basically the worst. They don’t really want to sleep in the pack n play, but a bed is tough too b/c they can just get up and climb out. They’re too young for melatonin to help reset their sleep schedule. They have no attention span and are constantly trying to kill themselves in any way possible. I wouldn’t do it unless you have grandparent help or a nanny going with you. You’re better off just taking time off work while they’re at daycare or with nanny to do little day trips just the adults.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:28
Subject: Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
Anonymous wrote:Do it for you. We started flying with them when they were 4.5 and 1.5. They did great on the planes (short direct flights to the Caribbean). Stayed at AIs. It may not be as relaxing as traveling child free, but it's a nice change of scenery and pace for us, which we sorely needed.
Same here. You can also opt for a place that offers babysitting services.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:23
Subject: Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
I prefer to spend the money on couples trips so I can invest in my marriage.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:22
Subject: Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
We always took our kid to the beach at that age, and we usually went after summer, in Sept. It was much cheaper and easier to find fun places, plus less crowded.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:21
Subject: Re:Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
For us, we limit to simple trips (drive or domestic flight) to see other people. We do as much as possible to make them as logistically easy for us, and we are adamant about sleeping arrangements and staying on their sleep schedule to the largest degree possible (though when we had a two-napper, morning nap was often in the stroller).
So, we visit family and friends and do beach trips with family and friends, and that’s it. Kids are 3.5 and 2 and that’s still our jam.
That being said, this is a VERY personal decision, and it took me a few years of parenting to drop the guilt on this. Your kids do NOT need or want travel when they are still at napping age. I honestly think there are no benefits to them directly at these ages. But it’s also not bad for them - it’s completely neutral (as long as it isn’t so frequent and so sleep disruptive as to lead to them becoming perma-exhausted, which would be extreme). Which means if YOU want to travel, if those logistics sound fun or worth it to you, do it! If it sounds like repeatedly pouring lemon juice on a fresh paper cut, then don’t. Really. If Morocco sounds great, and everyone’s like “omg you are crazy,” tell them to f*ck off and go! If the idea of taking your 3 year old to grandmas for the weekend sounds like more than you can handle, then don’t go. Grandma can come to you or wait until you’re ready. Really. There are no awards for this. As far as travel, do what keeps you and your partner happy, fulfilled and sane, and the kids will be fine either way.
One more note on the “none of this is universal” front: the attitude I’ve seen above is common - traveling with an infant is easy because they’re portable, then it’s hard from 1-2.5, then it gets easier. But for me that is absolutely not the case. So far, for both kids, improvement has been remarkably linear. We took a simple Christmas trip to see helpful family a reasonable drive away when my youngest was a newborn and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I hated absolutely every second of it. For me personally, I would never ever do a trip with an under 5 month old again. And we severely limit trips under age 1, as those are still a struggle. But I do much better with the 1-2.5 age range, to me it just gets easier and easier as they get older, I never experienced a dip.
So, we visit family and friends and do beach trips with family and friends, and that’s it. Kids are 3.5 and 2 and that’s still our jam.
That being said, this is a VERY personal decision, and it took me a few years of parenting to drop the guilt on this. Your kids do NOT need or want travel when they are still at napping age. I honestly think there are no benefits to them directly at these ages. But it’s also not bad for them - it’s completely neutral (as long as it isn’t so frequent and so sleep disruptive as to lead to them becoming perma-exhausted, which would be extreme). Which means if YOU want to travel, if those logistics sound fun or worth it to you, do it! If it sounds like repeatedly pouring lemon juice on a fresh paper cut, then don’t. Really. If Morocco sounds great, and everyone’s like “omg you are crazy,” tell them to f*ck off and go! If the idea of taking your 3 year old to grandmas for the weekend sounds like more than you can handle, then don’t go. Grandma can come to you or wait until you’re ready. Really. There are no awards for this. As far as travel, do what keeps you and your partner happy, fulfilled and sane, and the kids will be fine either way.
One more note on the “none of this is universal” front: the attitude I’ve seen above is common - traveling with an infant is easy because they’re portable, then it’s hard from 1-2.5, then it gets easier. But for me that is absolutely not the case. So far, for both kids, improvement has been remarkably linear. We took a simple Christmas trip to see helpful family a reasonable drive away when my youngest was a newborn and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I hated absolutely every second of it. For me personally, I would never ever do a trip with an under 5 month old again. And we severely limit trips under age 1, as those are still a struggle. But I do much better with the 1-2.5 age range, to me it just gets easier and easier as they get older, I never experienced a dip.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:21
Subject: Re:Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
Anonymous wrote:We always enjoyed city trips at that age--Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Indianapolis, Miami, St. Louis. Honestly, anywhere that has a zoo, aquarium, a children's museum, nice playgrounds, small amusement parks. Add in a hotel pool and the kids will have fun.
If you want to go to the beach, just do a weekend at one of the MD/DE/NJ beaches but go the first week of school. It will be empty but still warm enough to swim and the hotels will be cheap.
+1 - we did many of those cities with kids under 4 and they were really enjoyable trips.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:13
Subject: Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
Do it for you. We started flying with them when they were 4.5 and 1.5. They did great on the planes (short direct flights to the Caribbean). Stayed at AIs. It may not be as relaxing as traveling child free, but it's a nice change of scenery and pace for us, which we sorely needed.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:13
Subject: Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
Do. Introduce them to traveling young so that they will be good travelers later.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 10:03
Subject: Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
We went on a ton of trips when DS was a baby/toddler. But DS was really easily and adapted to a new environment with no problem. The Caribbean was usually the easiest because during nap time one of us could just sit on the balcony and read.
Anonymous
07/31/2023 09:52
Subject: Re:Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
OP here. Thanks everyone! the Caribbean was the wrong example for me to give (I was being too ambitious), I'm researching some closer areas within driving distance but still feels "different". Thank you for the tips!
Anonymous
07/31/2023 09:39
Subject: Going on vacations during the toddler/baby years -- yay or nay
With kids those ages, I would see if grandparents are interested in coming along. That way everyone can enjoy a bit of downtime. Kid clubs for kids under 3 are hit or miss. Most want kids to be potty trained.
Our kids are a similar age gap, but they were that age during peak Covid, so we weren't able to go anywhere anyway. We started doing trips when our youngest was close to 1 and our oldest close to 3. Things like a weekend in Lancaster, PA, or trips to visit grandparents who happened to live near a beach.
Children under 1 are easiest to travel with, because you can baby wear, and they'll pretty much sleep anywhere. I agree with PP who said 1-2.5 are the hardest, except I'd extend that to 3.5ish. It's really that age with a mid-day nap, because you have to plan your whole day around it, or reap the consequences of an overtired/over stimulated kid. Some kids grow out of that phase earlier than others.
Our kids are a similar age gap, but they were that age during peak Covid, so we weren't able to go anywhere anyway. We started doing trips when our youngest was close to 1 and our oldest close to 3. Things like a weekend in Lancaster, PA, or trips to visit grandparents who happened to live near a beach.
Children under 1 are easiest to travel with, because you can baby wear, and they'll pretty much sleep anywhere. I agree with PP who said 1-2.5 are the hardest, except I'd extend that to 3.5ish. It's really that age with a mid-day nap, because you have to plan your whole day around it, or reap the consequences of an overtired/over stimulated kid. Some kids grow out of that phase earlier than others.