Anonymous wrote:Friend could just send the money back if she doesn't want it, instead of intentionally insulting OP.

Where is the intentional insult? OP says this is her friend. Friends are allowed to tell each other if they feel slighted, and a good friend would want to know so she didn't do it again. She didn't curse her out, call her names, anything insulting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are very fussy about pretending to not like money, and would have preferred a gift.

Who says she's pretending? Paying someone for this could pretty easily make it feel like a commercial transaction, rather than an act of friendship. I honestly wouldn't want to be compensated more than the cost of shipping and a few bucks for gas. If you're paying me, I'm your errand boy and you don't want to be in my debt. If we're friends, I just trust that someday you'll do me a favor when I need it, because that's part of being friends.

Why can't a friend send you a thank-gift for going way out of your way, and also help you when you need a favor?

Friend could just send the money back if she doesn't want it, instead of intentionally insulting OP.

I'd be mildly offended if someone paid me more than the shipping cost. If they offered to take me out to dinner or similar, that's fine, but I am a grown adult professional, I don't want a cash tip for performing a favor for a friend.

What was worth $250 to overnight that you couldn't just buy new?

OP, do you belong to a different culture/social class than she does? In my friend group, payment for something like this would be bizarre/insulting. It’s a favor for a friend, not a financial transaction. It’s a parallel to that SATC episode where Carrie wakes up to find her one night stand left money on her nightstand. But I understand different cultures have different norms so maybe in some it would be normal to pay a friend for doing you a favor?

In my friend group the norm would be to bring over a bottle of wine or chocolates as a thank you.

I do big favors for friends from time to time and would be mortified if they gave me any money at all. And I'm talking large favors like setting up websites, taking kids to emergency dr appointments, watching someone's dog for several days while they are on vacation. I'd prefer a nice note, pick up my coffee and spend time with me when you get back, that's it. And be someone I can count on for the same if I need something. That's it! If someone gave me that much money for a favor I would actually feel less close with them, not more.

Anonymous wrote:Some people are very fussy about pretending to not like money, and would have preferred a gift.

Who says she's pretending? Paying someone for this could pretty easily make it feel like a commercial transaction, rather than an act of friendship. I honestly wouldn't want to be compensated more than the cost of shipping and a few bucks for gas. If you're paying me, I'm your errand boy and you don't want to be in my debt. If we're friends, I just trust that someday you'll do me a favor when I need it, because that's part of being friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she was okay going to your house and doing this for you when you asked, then the social norm you broke was by paying her $100+ to do it above shipping cost. It's either a favor (repay the cost of shipping) or a TaskRabbit (pay them for their time).

Who gets mad about getting paid for being inconvenienced?

+1 I would glad have done this errand for a friend, money or not, and can't imagine a true friend saying what she did.

It sounds like it was she who treated you like a grocery clerk

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she was okay going to your house and doing this for you when you asked, then the social norm you broke was by paying her $100+ to do it above shipping cost. It's either a favor (repay the cost of shipping) or a TaskRabbit (pay them for their time).

Who gets mad about getting paid for being inconvenienced?

Someone who was doing a favor for a friend and made to feel cheap by the payment. This could be a particular problem in this friendship if OP has more money and throws it around regularly. Anyway, I don't see where it says she was mad, she just told OP how she made her feel. Cue everyone calling her names because she used her big girl words instead of stewing over it or going to DCUM to vent.

Yeah, one nonsensical sentence is really "big girl words". I'm sure this was really fun for you to come type out though.

I guess if it were me, I wouldn’t expect payment for doing this except reimbursement for the shipping cost. I would hope that the friend would just return the someday.

I think you needed to be thankful and grateful in your words. You paid generously but it as not really a commercial transaction. she did you a favor because she is your friend.

when she sent you the receipt, you should have said -

"Thank you so much for saving my bacon. I cannot tell you what an enormous favor you have done for me.

Please keep the money and use it to give yourself a treat for your effort on my behalf. we will go out for a meal when I get back to catch up - my treat of course. Thank you (appropriate emojis)! - Larla

I guess you did treat her like an errand boy, but a VERY well paid one! I might grumble about doing the work (I rarely even want to do my own errands), but she made 4x what she spent? it's a pretty good result on her side!

You did nothing wrong, except perhaps pay extravagantly. A friend would either have done this for nothing, or politely declined because they did not have the time.