Anonymous wrote:I wish more colleges did this. I had a freshman roommate who stayed up until 4 am every night (music and talking on the phone included), and the utter fatigue is a huge reason I dropped out. My body literally broke. Housing was no help with a new roommate.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
The purpose of college is to expand yourself. Not to hide in your shell.
And what makes you think you can't do both, or that the only way to expand onself is socially?
Agreed that this isn't the point of this thread. But really, there are some very limited views around this place!
I’m just concerned that coddling like this isn’t good for a kid.
Generations of high school seniors have looked ahead to college with all kinds of emotions when it came to future roommates: excitement, dread, fear, worry, curiosity etc. Almost all of them end up fine, and for the ones who don’t it’s not the end of the world. It’s a right of passage.
It’s only with this generation of parents where the parents go to such great lengths to shield their kids from any kind of potential adversity. It’s not a good trend, and it’s not good for growth.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Super immature of a kid for this to matter much at all. There are so many things that this should take priority over. Really odd.
I'm not OP, and my kid is only at the beginning of the college process, but DC has social anxiety--nothing especially debilitating as far as DC is concerned, but enough that it makes everyday life a little different for them than the typical, more social teen. Even more to the point, DC absolutely requires time alone to recharge after having to muster the energy required to socialize in classes, etc. While I'd love for DC to be more social, that's just not who they are, and I think a single will be better for them in this case. And since they'll probably spend a lot of time in that room, I certainly hope it's nice enough to feel like a bit of a sanctuary.
And really, can you imagine being a freshman--completely new to campus--and having a roommate who just really needs quiet and downtime while you're really hoping for a new friend? Not ideal for either party.
PP, do I think that's "odd?" Not really. Do I think you're a bit too judgy about a situation you don't know anything about? Definitely. (But that's the DCUM way, isn't it?) And did OP say this was the main priority? "It's not the only think my kid cares about, but it's important" doesn't sound like it to me.
The purpose of college is to expand yourself. Not to hide in your shell.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
The purpose of college is to expand yourself. Not to hide in your shell.
And what makes you think you can't do both, or that the only way to expand onself is socially?
Agreed that this isn't the point of this thread. But really, there are some very limited views around this place!
Anonymous wrote:
The purpose of college is to expand yourself. Not to hide in your shell.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Super immature of a kid for this to matter much at all. There are so many things that this should take priority over. Really odd.
I'm not OP, and my kid is only at the beginning of the college process, but DC has social anxiety--nothing especially debilitating as far as DC is concerned, but enough that it makes everyday life a little different for them than the typical, more social teen. Even more to the point, DC absolutely requires time alone to recharge after having to muster the energy required to socialize in classes, etc. While I'd love for DC to be more social, that's just not who they are, and I think a single will be better for them in this case. And since they'll probably spend a lot of time in that room, I certainly hope it's nice enough to feel like a bit of a sanctuary.
And really, can you imagine being a freshman--completely new to campus--and having a roommate who just really needs quiet and downtime while you're really hoping for a new friend? Not ideal for either party.
PP, do I think that's "odd?" Not really. Do I think you're a bit too judgy about a situation you don't know anything about? Definitely. (But that's the DCUM way, isn't it?) And did OP say this was the main priority? "It's not the only think my kid cares about, but it's important" doesn't sound like it to me.
The purpose of college is to expand yourself. Not to hide in your shell.
Let’s get us back on track. I’m not looking for a debate on singles. If you want a very social living experience with a lot of roommates, go over to the supplemental housing thread. Those parents could use some positive words. If you have personal experience with colleges that offer singles and nice dorms for comfort and privacy, post here.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Super immature of a kid for this to matter much at all. There are so many things that this should take priority over. Really odd.
I'm not OP, and my kid is only at the beginning of the college process, but DC has social anxiety--nothing especially debilitating as far as DC is concerned, but enough that it makes everyday life a little different for them than the typical, more social teen. Even more to the point, DC absolutely requires time alone to recharge after having to muster the energy required to socialize in classes, etc. While I'd love for DC to be more social, that's just not who they are, and I think a single will be better for them in this case. And since they'll probably spend a lot of time in that room, I certainly hope it's nice enough to feel like a bit of a sanctuary.
And really, can you imagine being a freshman--completely new to campus--and having a roommate who just really needs quiet and downtime while you're really hoping for a new friend? Not ideal for either party.
PP, do I think that's "odd?" Not really. Do I think you're a bit too judgy about a situation you don't know anything about? Definitely. (But that's the DCUM way, isn't it?) And did OP say this was the main priority? "It's not the only think my kid cares about, but it's important" doesn't sound like it to me.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Super immature of a kid for this to matter much at all. There are so many things that this should take priority over. Really odd.
I'm not OP, and my kid is only at the beginning of the college process, but DC has social anxiety--nothing especially debilitating as far as DC is concerned, but enough that it makes everyday life a little different for them than the typical, more social teen. Even more to the point, DC absolutely requires time alone to recharge after having to muster the energy required to socialize in classes, etc. While I'd love for DC to be more social, that's just not who they are, and I think a single will be better for them in this case. And since they'll probably spend a lot of time in that room, I certainly hope it's nice enough to feel like a bit of a sanctuary.
And really, can you imagine being a freshman--completely new to campus--and having a roommate who just really needs quiet and downtime while you're really hoping for a new friend? Not ideal for either party.
PP, do I think that's "odd?" Not really. Do I think you're a bit too judgy about a situation you don't know anything about? Definitely. (But that's the DCUM way, isn't it?) And did OP say this was the main priority? "It's not the only think my kid cares about, but it's important" doesn't sound like it to me.
The purpose of college is to expand yourself. Not to hide in your shell.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Super immature of a kid for this to matter much at all. There are so many things that this should take priority over. Really odd.
I'm not OP, and my kid is only at the beginning of the college process, but DC has social anxiety--nothing especially debilitating as far as DC is concerned, but enough that it makes everyday life a little different for them than the typical, more social teen. Even more to the point, DC absolutely requires time alone to recharge after having to muster the energy required to socialize in classes, etc. While I'd love for DC to be more social, that's just not who they are, and I think a single will be better for them in this case. And since they'll probably spend a lot of time in that room, I certainly hope it's nice enough to feel like a bit of a sanctuary.
And really, can you imagine being a freshman--completely new to campus--and having a roommate who just really needs quiet and downtime while you're really hoping for a new friend? Not ideal for either party.
PP, do I think that's "odd?" Not really. Do I think you're a bit too judgy about a situation you don't know anything about? Definitely. (But that's the DCUM way, isn't it?) And did OP say this was the main priority? "It's not the only think my kid cares about, but it's important" doesn't sound like it to me.
Anonymous wrote: I didn’t let my kid kid pick single as a choice. Part of the experience is living with others. And I say this as someone who did not get along with my freshman roommate so much that I ended up moving to another room. But I learned a lot in the process about what I could put up with and what I wouldn’t.
Unless there is a medical need, you should think about later years too. Will they be living solo in an apt as upperclassman too? Never need a roommate in life?