Anonymous wrote:It's been a thing for many, many years. Just googled dorm decorating and you'll see features.

There's a whole website for it called Dormify.

https://www.dormify.com/

expensive!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

This is not control freak vibes. Super common with girls. You’re reading too much into it and just looking for problems.

Not PP but trying to make a kid you never met decorate their first away-from-home living space in the way you want is pretty controlling. They should each just choose what works for them and f-ing adapt.

She’s not trying to make someone decorate it. She asked a question. How do you get along with people in life if this question upsets you? The dd can reply she’s not interested in a headboard. Maybe she wants to do comforters, maybe not. It’s helpful to not duplicate some items.
Always assume good intentions.

Headboards and full out decor more common in the south. DD and roommate at New England SLAC are coordinating colors and that's it.

Niece going to Duke has a wealthy roommate bringing a $1200 carpet, color coordinated retro mini refrigerator with matching microwave, matching headboards, and more

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

+1 Yes, afraid this may be a control freak too. I showed my DD some nice pillows I found that can be put on the bed like a headboard sort of..but not. You just lean up against it or put it on the wall for a comfortable sitting area on your bed. Roommate said "well, we need to find out where the beds are placed first!" Seemed like she was really taking charge and I have the most mild mannered DD. So, yes, I am afraid of a control freak roommate and pray this won't be the case for DD's first semester.

As I said, don't want to get off on the wrong foot or be seen as a kill joy. Idea to coordinate colors is a good one.

Honestly, I never thought of this way back when. AS long as my roommate was clean and decent and not scr$wing someone in my room everynight, things were great by me.

I'd ask the roomie what headboard she likes. And then go from there. I'm pretty well off and I had headboard shapes made out of plywood, covered it with fabric and padding and stapled it. Like $20 each. If the roommate says $300 headboards, just say that you're sorry you can't. But that you're sure hers will be cute!

I think it's fun that she's asking. It doesn't mean she's looking for a super decorated room.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why is it assuming the other girl is being controlling? She's not demanding OPs daughter buy anything, she sounds excited to decorate her first home away from home.

y'all crazy! In the 80's my roommate and I got the same comforter after talking. We also figured out who was bringing bigger items

Yep. In the summer of '94 I screwed up my courage to call my new (stranger) future roommate so we could discuss colors. We didn't get matching bedding but we made sure it didn't clash either. Twas all for naught - she wound up being a huge slut bringing home guys to screw late at night while I was asleep and ultimately had to kick her out and got a different roommate mid-semester.

+1

Anonymous wrote:why is it assuming the other girl is being controlling? She's not demanding OPs daughter buy anything, she sounds excited to decorate her first home away from home.

y'all crazy! In the 80's my roommate and I got the same comforter after talking. We also figured out who was bringing bigger items

Yep. In the summer of '94 I screwed up my courage to call my new (stranger) future roommate so we could discuss colors. We didn't get matching bedding but we made sure it didn't clash either. Twas all for naught - she wound up being a huge slut bringing home guys to screw late at night while I was asleep and ultimately had to kick her out and got a different roommate mid-semester.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

This is not control freak vibes. Super common with girls. You’re reading too much into it and just looking for problems.

Not PP but trying to make a kid you never met decorate their first away-from-home living space in the way you want is pretty controlling. They should each just choose what works for them and f-ing adapt.

Who said she's trying to make her do anything? All she did was inquire. OP's daughter can respond that she's not interested if she doesn't want to coordinate.

Obviously OP’s kid can do whatever, but “what matching headboard will we be getting” is pretty presumptuous, come on.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it needs to be a big deal. Your DD can simply say she doesn’t plan to use a headboard. But if the girls want to coordinate similar colors, that’s pretty common.

+1
This was what one of my DDs did with her roomie. They coordinated colors and "vibe" (her word) as well as coordinating who had fridge, fan, etc.

My other DD did not coordinate beyond fridge/fan as neither of them cared much about having coordinating aesthetics.

Both lived with the same roommate for 2 years.

It's ok if decorating isn't your thing...but is it your daughters? Have you asked her if this sounds exciting to her?

why is it assuming the other girl is being controlling? She's not demanding OPs daughter buy anything, she sounds excited to decorate her first home away from home.

y'all crazy! In the 80's my roommate and I got the same comforter after talking. We also figured out who was bringing bigger items

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

This is not control freak vibes. Super common with girls. You’re reading too much into it and just looking for problems.

Not PP but trying to make a kid you never met decorate their first away-from-home living space in the way you want is pretty controlling. They should each just choose what works for them and f-ing adapt.

Some kids go to boarding school for high school, so college is NOT their first away from home living space.

Most do not. Pretty safe to assume.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

This is not control freak vibes. Super common with girls. You’re reading too much into it and just looking for problems.

Not PP but trying to make a kid you never met decorate their first away-from-home living space in the way you want is pretty controlling. They should each just choose what works for them and f-ing adapt.

Who said she's trying to make her do anything? All she did was inquire. OP's daughter can respond that she's not interested if she doesn't want to coordinate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

This is not control freak vibes. Super common with girls. You’re reading too much into it and just looking for problems.

Not PP but trying to make a kid you never met decorate their first away-from-home living space in the way you want is pretty controlling. They should each just choose what works for them and f-ing adapt.

Some kids go to boarding school for high school, so college is NOT their first away from home living space.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

This is not control freak vibes. Super common with girls. You’re reading too much into it and just looking for problems.

Not PP but trying to make a kid you never met decorate their first away-from-home living space in the way you want is pretty controlling. They should each just choose what works for them and f-ing adapt.

You sound like a real peach.

Because I think some random teen shouldn’t dictate how their roommate decorates their half of the room? Mmkay.