^^ I’ll add that my 5 and 7 y/o can shower by themselves so that helps move bedtime along. I forgot to even mention it because I don’t have to really think about it except to remind them. I will do a pop in to make sure the 5 y/o is washing everything important, but 7 y/o is very clean.

Once they can handle that, it’s so freeing.

I would try and make time to read to the older kid at a different time. If you don’t work, during the day maybe, if you work, maybe a special thing you and he do on a Sat/Sun morning. At bedtime I would default to berenstein bears like books that they can both enjoy. And older one knows he gets u for the other books at a separate time.
I’d let the 2yo watch a show personally while u do the other 2. Then older 2 can read or look at books for a few mins themselves while u put the younger one down.

As a mom of 3 (although slightly different split, 15 months, 5, and 7) here is what I do.

Older kids get to watch a show while I put toddler to bed. Toddler has dropped to 1 nap (about 1-3/3:30) and is tired by 7ish.

Screens off and I do a little calming thing like a puzzle or bowl of ice cream with my older 2. Between 7:30/8 we head upstairs and brush teeth. I have them change into PJs at the same time as toddler so that part is already done.

My older 2 boys share a room. They also have different interests so I’ll read 2 books, but keep it short. Like I’ll do one chapter from the chapter book my 7 y/o likes and then a short little kid book the 5 y/o likes. Or I’ll offer them a mom makes up a story option in which I combine interests and add my kids and our dog and wherever else to the story in a funny way.

At some point we’ll move them to their own rooms, but right now the BOGO bedtime for my older 2 is so useful. No way am I doing 3 bedtimes.

I’ll also add that if you need to keep hiring a sitter to help with the evenings, do that. There is nothing wrong with getting some help.

Anonymous wrote:I would remove reading from bedtime in that case. Give the 4 and 5 year olds a few minutes to look at books on their own after a different routine. They will be reading soon!

Agree. I’d do one bath for all boys, if space allows, and then all that leaves is brushing teeth, potty and into bed, which should be quick and can be done one by one.

I have three and due to work obligations both DH and I put them to be solo quite a lot. Here's what we do:

-dinner all together
-older two (3&4) play in the middle kids room (the bath they all use) while I bathe the baby. Baby gets a bottle to drink and sits.
-I quickly bathe the other two. Playtime in baths is for nights we have time
-stories all together
-I put the baby down
-middle kid gets teeth brushed, tucked in while older stays in her room
-oldest gets teeth brushed and one last story in bed

Anonymous wrote:People with 3 kids an a traveling coparent don’t put them to bed one at a time. You do bath and stories all together and they go to bed together. That’s just life with three small kids.

+1. Also, they get the same number of books each night (I have two kids, so did two picture books). NEVER deviate from this. If your 5 year old is nerdy enough to want a more "academic" book, they are old enough to start reading it themselves.

People with 3 kids an a traveling coparent don’t put them to bed one at a time. You do bath and stories all together and they go to bed together. That’s just life with three small kids.

Anonymous wrote:There’s no rule that says you have to read AT bedtime.

Sorry, posted too fast.

Do that at another time. Everyone gets the same bedtime routine. Bath, teeth, one book (they can take turns picking), and bed.

Your little genius can explore before bedtime.

There’s no rule that says you have to read AT bedtime.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry but the “no mommy’s little helper” comment is so gross and unnecessary! How in 2023 are we still not raising our boys to be less helpful than our girls? My mind is truly blown.

Anyway I have the same age gap. I put the youngest one to bed first and then each of the oldest picked a book and we read them together. I also think screens is fine in a pinch.

Eh there are lots of kids that love being a little mommy/daddy to younger siblings or little neighbors or baby dolls….but let’s not kid ourselves and pretend it’s equally common in boys and girls to love doing that

And this is why the relationship board is full of women complaining that their DHs don’t help out enough. We need to raise better men!

Anonymous wrote:Come with a routine that involves everyone. Especially the 4 and 5 year old should be able to be put to bed together. Kids brush their teeth and put pajamas on together. Each one picks one book and you read together. If they interrupt too much, they have to leave the room. Move up the routine earlier and let them read with a nightlight in bed for a while. If you are regularly doing bedtime by yourself, make it easier.

+1 Also, if they are too young to read on their own with a nightlight, try putting on an audiobook for 20 minutes for the older ones while you settle the 2YO. You can borrow tons of audiobooks from the library or find a kids podcast (my personal favorite is Little Stories for Tiny People). I use an iPhone on a timer for this. It's going to be a juggling act, but the kids will adjust if you can build a consistent routine.

Also, if the kids keep getting up, you might try bedtime tickets: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/become-your-childs-sleep-coach/201908/try-bedtime-tickets-easier-bedtime-your-child?gclid=Cj0KCQjwk96lBhDHARIsAEKO4xZ3gnULs27M6Q2sro1TyDUTgZf1RrXHysLagTNmMB1J0ql3MA-mBiwaAvyAEALw_wcB

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry but the “no mommy’s little helper” comment is so gross and unnecessary! How in 2023 are we still not raising our boys to be less helpful than our girls? My mind is truly blown.

Anyway I have the same age gap. I put the youngest one to bed first and then each of the oldest picked a book and we read them together. I also think screens is fine in a pinch.

Eh there are lots of kids that love being a little mommy/daddy to younger siblings or little neighbors or baby dolls….but let’s not kid ourselves and pretend it’s equally common in boys and girls to love doing that

Maybe it’s slightly more likely for a girl than a boy, but OP seems to assume that no boys are helpful and most girls are.

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry but the “no mommy’s little helper” comment is so gross and unnecessary! How in 2023 are we still not raising our boys to be less helpful than our girls? My mind is truly blown.

Anyway I have the same age gap. I put the youngest one to bed first and then each of the oldest picked a book and we read them together. I also think screens is fine in a pinch.

Eh there are lots of kids that love being a little mommy/daddy to younger siblings or little neighbors or baby dolls….but let’s not kid ourselves and pretend it’s equally common in boys and girls to love doing that

Anonymous wrote:Mom you are overdoing this and killing yourself just when you likely need a break. They can take turns with books (ie it was larlos turn to pick last night). If they dont sit still for the book or complain then they go straight to bed. I would maybe do the two year old an hour early if he needs more sleep (probably not if he’s napping though.)

Yea if these kids aren’t brats yet they will be soon.

I would remove reading from bedtime in that case. Give the 4 and 5 year olds a few minutes to look at books on their own after a different routine. They will be reading soon!