Anonymous
Post 07/18/2023 22:18     Subject: Re:My teen came home in Feb and never left


It seems like Mom kept to the custody arrangement while she was receiving child support. Now that she’s not, saddled with a typical obnoxious and rebellious teen, she thinks “Let Dad handle her and pick up extra expenses.”
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2023 21:40     Subject: Re:My teen came home in Feb and never left
I'd let it go.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2023 16:42     Subject: My teen came home in Feb and never left
My brother intervened with his adult daughter (late 30s) when he found out she hadn't spoken to her mom in 6 months. My brother and his ex had a very acrimonious divorce, but it was decades ago and they are now friendly. I thought it was very magnanimous of him to intervene. He could have just minded his own business since he has a great relationship with his daughter, but he took the long view and realized it was better for both his daughter and his ex to have an ongoing relationship.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2023 13:54     Subject: Re:My teen came home in Feb and never left
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your daughter’s been there since February, getting ready to go to college in a month and now that you have to be gone for 10 days you’re wondering if you should talk to her mom about what happened?





I am midway through the trip now and she is still at my house despite my suggestions that it might be a good time to go be with her Mom. I think the fact that she would rather be alone in my house has driven the point home.

I have talked to my ex about this in the past. I just haven’t disclosed that DD felt kicked out.


You're the "strict" parent and you are gently suggesting to your kid she should think about whether she wants any supervision at all for a portion of your 10 day trip? Sounds like your kids have zero parenting from any direction.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2023 12:13     Subject: My teen came home in Feb and never left
Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I will say my oldest daughter did something similar in her final years of HS. Of course those were the COVID years too. Now that she is in college she does seem to split her time more evenly when she comes home. So maybe this is just a mother/daughter conflict and daughters prefer to live with their father for now. She says I am more relaxed about things in general (which is funny because I do show her where the lines are and my brother, in which she confides, tells me she says I am the only one who actually parents her).

I guess I will contact my ex when I return. That will be fun; she’s a little bitter right now because child support ended when DD graduated from HS.

I will say that DD sees her mother. But it’s more like she visits and lives with me.


I can't really tell what the intent of this comment is, but I agree with the PP that asked why you are raising this now after almost 6 months. And you've already talked to both of them. I think you just leave it alone but be supportive and help facilitate any contact between the two of them.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2023 11:49     Subject: My teen came home in Feb and never left
I'd have told your ex within a week of DD missing her visitation with her mom, that her mom saying get out was taken hurtfully and literally and she might want to talk with DD to repair the relationship.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2023 11:24     Subject: Re:My teen came home in Feb and never left
I would stay out of it. The message has been communicated.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2023 11:17     Subject: Re:My teen came home in Feb and never left
I would stay out of it.

I was a handful and was never told to leave before the age of 18.

Your ex seems comfortable with drama. Let her deal with it.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2023 10:19     Subject: My teen came home in Feb and never left
I would stay out of it. They will find their way back to eachother. It’s common for daughters to pull away from their moms at that age. I would make sure the mom is informed of milestone events like graduation day, prom pictures, etc. if your daughter complains about that just say she’s your mom she has a right to be there for that.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2023 09:58     Subject: Re:My teen came home in Feb and never left
I'm a little confused about what the issue is. Your follow-up says your daughter has a relationship with her mother, and she visits her. So maybe they're navigating it fine and needed space from each other to make their relationship work better.

Are you trying to get her to go back to the custody agreement? Do you not want her living with you full-time?