Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s ok to be vain. But you have to be realistic too. You aren’t 25. You are 45. With that comes hormone changes that literally make your mid section thicker and change up how your body fat is distributed. It isn’t your diet or exercise regimen. The best thing you can do for your body right now is light weights to retain as much muscle mass and bone density as possible as you age and head into menopause. The thin waist of your 20 yr old is chasing a dream. Sometimes perfect is the enemy of good.

NP. I thought it was heavy weights we were supposed to do?

Yes! That was supposed to read “lift” not light. But you are right, heavy weight is better for building and maintaining muscle mass

Anonymous wrote:It’s ok to be vain. But you have to be realistic too. You aren’t 25. You are 45. With that comes hormone changes that literally make your mid section thicker and change up how your body fat is distributed. It isn’t your diet or exercise regimen. The best thing you can do for your body right now is light weights to retain as much muscle mass and bone density as possible as you age and head into menopause. The thin waist of your 20 yr old is chasing a dream. Sometimes perfect is the enemy of good.

NP. I thought it was heavy weights we were supposed to do?

It’s ok to be vain. But you have to be realistic too. You aren’t 25. You are 45. With that comes hormone changes that literally make your mid section thicker and change up how your body fat is distributed. It isn’t your diet or exercise regimen. The best thing you can do for your body right now is light weights to retain as much muscle mass and bone density as possible as you age and head into menopause. The thin waist of your 20 yr old is chasing a dream. Sometimes perfect is the enemy of good.

I’m 50 and 42-47 were my skinny years. I stopped working to take care of my mom and kids and all the stress basically melted the weight off. I loved it so maintained for years. Around age 48 though, I got more relaxed and am probably up around 10 lbs now. I don’t use the scale bc by any objective measure I’m slim. I don’t like how some of my pants and dresses don’t fit. But I also think it’s fine to be a bit softer around the middle.

I think a lot of us feel this way as we age and mature. LOL

I am 44 and 5’5 and last weighed 148. I have gained about 10lbs in the last 4 years. The funny thing is I’m stronger than ever and have the most muscle definition I’ve ever had.

But I’m also older and my metabolism has slowed down and I like to eat and drink. When I compare pictures all the weight is in my hips and butt. I am slimmer and more defined in upper body.

I would love to lose the 10lb because some pants are tight. But not sure how much effort I want to put in yet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I could have written the post directly above mine. I have a very similar story to yours, plus add in a severely anorexic/body obsessed mother. I’ve decided it’s okay for me to be a bit vain (yes, negative PPs above, I am a little vain!), but it’s also crucial that I accept my aging body. It’s done some damn awesome things and it’s strong and healthy.

So, at 44, I’ve decided to accept my body but also to treat it as well as I can. That means keeping my mind healthy with lots of sweaty exercise and keeping my body healthy with good, clean food, limited alcohol, and lots of sleep. I do track macros. I don’t consider it a diet (I’m the poster of the thread about how eating way more has made me lose weight), but it does help me stay clean.

This is so puritanical.

Okay.

But I feel freaking amazing.

You've also described me. It can sound puritanical to others but I also feel amazing. Those who are quick to criticize are usually (not always but usually) those who have not been successful in controlling their eating habits and thus have slowly gained weight over the years. Suddenly they're staring at 50 years of age, and realized they're also 50lbs heavier than they were in their 30's. I know I'm right about this, but no one will admit this.

Puritanical is just a dumb buzz word used by somebody that can’t imagine actually enjoying fresh food and not drinking frequently and feeling healthy. It is what it is.

And for those that slowly gained the weight and did not correct their ship by age 40, it’s a much faster sled ride to the bottom on average with a ton more bumps along the way. Longevity may end up being the same, but life quality is much much better while being allegedly “puritanical.”

These are just things you wish were true but actually are not.

Having lived both ways for extended periods of time, I know I’m right. You can also reference any study on health span and longevity you want.

But if drinking with your friends in your 40s is your idea of a good time, you should continue doing that.

So you have a sample size of 1. Sad, you actually don’t see how myopic your thinking is. Again, I’m not convinced you are mentally healthier.

Also the biggest killer is loneliness right now not obesity so having a wine with friends with some cheese and crackers is actually healthier.

Of course it is. But making that your sole outlet isn’t very healthy. Provided you can physically do something else. Here is a crazy thought, do something active with friends with the body of yours that will eventually not allow you to do it.

Here’s a crazy thought I do, as do most people.

Most people are active and have a glass of wine with friends and a sub from time to time

It’s not that important to be thin and always deny yourself some yummy treats, a drink or a boozy brunch.

Being good enough is good enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I could have written the post directly above mine. I have a very similar story to yours, plus add in a severely anorexic/body obsessed mother. I’ve decided it’s okay for me to be a bit vain (yes, negative PPs above, I am a little vain!), but it’s also crucial that I accept my aging body. It’s done some damn awesome things and it’s strong and healthy.

So, at 44, I’ve decided to accept my body but also to treat it as well as I can. That means keeping my mind healthy with lots of sweaty exercise and keeping my body healthy with good, clean food, limited alcohol, and lots of sleep. I do track macros. I don’t consider it a diet (I’m the poster of the thread about how eating way more has made me lose weight), but it does help me stay clean.

This is so puritanical.

Okay.

But I feel freaking amazing.

You've also described me. It can sound puritanical to others but I also feel amazing. Those who are quick to criticize are usually (not always but usually) those who have not been successful in controlling their eating habits and thus have slowly gained weight over the years. Suddenly they're staring at 50 years of age, and realized they're also 50lbs heavier than they were in their 30's. I know I'm right about this, but no one will admit this.

Puritanical is just a dumb buzz word used by somebody that can’t imagine actually enjoying fresh food and not drinking frequently and feeling healthy. It is what it is.

And for those that slowly gained the weight and did not correct their ship by age 40, it’s a much faster sled ride to the bottom on average with a ton more bumps along the way. Longevity may end up being the same, but life quality is much much better while being allegedly “puritanical.”

These are just things you wish were true but actually are not.

Having lived both ways for extended periods of time, I know I’m right. You can also reference any study on health span and longevity you want.

But if drinking with your friends in your 40s is your idea of a good time, you should continue doing that.

So you have a sample size of 1. Sad, you actually don’t see how myopic your thinking is. Again, I’m not convinced you are mentally healthier.

Also the biggest killer is loneliness right now not obesity so having a wine with friends with some cheese and crackers is actually healthier.

Of course it is. But making that your sole outlet isn’t very healthy. Provided you can physically do something else. Here is a crazy thought, do something active with friends with the body of yours that will eventually not allow you to do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I could have written the post directly above mine. I have a very similar story to yours, plus add in a severely anorexic/body obsessed mother. I’ve decided it’s okay for me to be a bit vain (yes, negative PPs above, I am a little vain!), but it’s also crucial that I accept my aging body. It’s done some damn awesome things and it’s strong and healthy.

So, at 44, I’ve decided to accept my body but also to treat it as well as I can. That means keeping my mind healthy with lots of sweaty exercise and keeping my body healthy with good, clean food, limited alcohol, and lots of sleep. I do track macros. I don’t consider it a diet (I’m the poster of the thread about how eating way more has made me lose weight), but it does help me stay clean.

This is so puritanical.

Okay.

But I feel freaking amazing.

You've also described me. It can sound puritanical to others but I also feel amazing. Those who are quick to criticize are usually (not always but usually) those who have not been successful in controlling their eating habits and thus have slowly gained weight over the years. Suddenly they're staring at 50 years of age, and realized they're also 50lbs heavier than they were in their 30's. I know I'm right about this, but no one will admit this.

Puritanical is just a dumb buzz word used by somebody that can’t imagine actually enjoying fresh food and not drinking frequently and feeling healthy. It is what it is.

And for those that slowly gained the weight and did not correct their ship by age 40, it’s a much faster sled ride to the bottom on average with a ton more bumps along the way. Longevity may end up being the same, but life quality is much much better while being allegedly “puritanical.”

These are just things you wish were true but actually are not.

Having lived both ways for extended periods of time, I know I’m right. You can also reference any study on health span and longevity you want.

But if drinking with your friends in your 40s is your idea of a good time, you should continue doing that.

So you have a sample size of 1. Sad, you actually don’t see how myopic your thinking is. Again, I’m not convinced you are mentally healthier.

Also the biggest killer is loneliness right now not obesity so having a wine with friends with some cheese and crackers is actually healthier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I could have written the post directly above mine. I have a very similar story to yours, plus add in a severely anorexic/body obsessed mother. I’ve decided it’s okay for me to be a bit vain (yes, negative PPs above, I am a little vain!), but it’s also crucial that I accept my aging body. It’s done some damn awesome things and it’s strong and healthy.

So, at 44, I’ve decided to accept my body but also to treat it as well as I can. That means keeping my mind healthy with lots of sweaty exercise and keeping my body healthy with good, clean food, limited alcohol, and lots of sleep. I do track macros. I don’t consider it a diet (I’m the poster of the thread about how eating way more has made me lose weight), but it does help me stay clean.

This is so puritanical.

Okay.

But I feel freaking amazing.

You've also described me. It can sound puritanical to others but I also feel amazing. Those who are quick to criticize are usually (not always but usually) those who have not been successful in controlling their eating habits and thus have slowly gained weight over the years. Suddenly they're staring at 50 years of age, and realized they're also 50lbs heavier than they were in their 30's. I know I'm right about this, but no one will admit this.

Puritanical is just a dumb buzz word used by somebody that can’t imagine actually enjoying fresh food and not drinking frequently and feeling healthy. It is what it is.

And for those that slowly gained the weight and did not correct their ship by age 40, it’s a much faster sled ride to the bottom on average with a ton more bumps along the way. Longevity may end up being the same, but life quality is much much better while being allegedly “puritanical.”

These are just things you wish were true but actually are not.

Having lived both ways for extended periods of time, I know I’m right. You can also reference any study on health span and longevity you want.

But if drinking with your friends in your 40s is your idea of a good time, you should continue doing that.

I feel you OP and struggle with this myself.

I am 40, petite, and was a very thin size 0/2 most my life. 3 kids later things look different. I’m a size 4 (BMI of 22) but on my petite frame, things are just softer than they used to be and I’m still 5 lbs above my pre-baby weight.

Here is where I currently land on the matter. Recently I have been refocusing my exercising to more strength training, abs, and low weight/high repetition work. I think muscle tone would help a lot, and honestly, my pelvic floor isn’t what it once was so high intensity cardio is harder for me. I also intermittent fast during the week. On the weekends I enjoy my splurges (I have a sweet tooth) although I also will occasionally go out for ice cream with my kids during the week in summer. I’m not like 100% militant about fasting/sugar restriction.

I’ve also adjusted my wardrobe with more high waisted clothes that slim my mid section. In clothes I still look pretty small. I also try to practice gratitude and know I 100% would not trade my kids for a flat stomach. If this is what it took to get to where I am so be it.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45, and for most of my life I have been slim--the kind of slim where people comment "whoa, you're tiny." In the last 5 years or so, I have gotten a bit softer and thicker in my midsection. By all relative standards I am still slim, just not like how I once was.

I work out basically every day, but I know that it's diet that makes the difference, and if I were to be strict about my food intake and macros, I could probably get back to, or close to, where I once was. Thing is, I love to eat. I like finding new recipes and new restaurants and am not particularly focused on super healthy eating.

I'm not convinced that nothing tastes as good as being thin. Has anyone just decided that eating is one of life's great pleasures and it's not worth it to deprive yourself? Should I just rock my softer bod and make the decision that this is my new normal and that's okay? I'm curious about other people's paths towards acceptance, or even love (!), of their new bodies.

My mom did this when she was in her 40s. Now she’s a diabetic. Letting go because you love to eat comes back to bite you.

Heroin chic is out.


The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'

The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I could have written the post directly above mine. I have a very similar story to yours, plus add in a severely anorexic/body obsessed mother. I’ve decided it’s okay for me to be a bit vain (yes, negative PPs above, I am a little vain!), but it’s also crucial that I accept my aging body. It’s done some damn awesome things and it’s strong and healthy.

So, at 44, I’ve decided to accept my body but also to treat it as well as I can. That means keeping my mind healthy with lots of sweaty exercise and keeping my body healthy with good, clean food, limited alcohol, and lots of sleep. I do track macros. I don’t consider it a diet (I’m the poster of the thread about how eating way more has made me lose weight), but it does help me stay clean.

This is so puritanical.

Okay.

But I feel freaking amazing.

You've also described me. It can sound puritanical to others but I also feel amazing. Those who are quick to criticize are usually (not always but usually) those who have not been successful in controlling their eating habits and thus have slowly gained weight over the years. Suddenly they're staring at 50 years of age, and realized they're also 50lbs heavier than they were in their 30's. I know I'm right about this, but no one will admit this.

Puritanical is just a dumb buzz word used by somebody that can’t imagine actually enjoying fresh food and not drinking frequently and feeling healthy. It is what it is.

And for those that slowly gained the weight and did not correct their ship by age 40, it’s a much faster sled ride to the bottom on average with a ton more bumps along the way. Longevity may end up being the same, but life quality is much much better while being allegedly “puritanical.”

These are just things you wish were true but actually are not.