Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing wrong with being raised by nannies. This country is strange because there is such little family and community support. So instead we buy this help.
It is very hard raising young kids but not doing so is these parents’ loss. I had such hard times with a newborn and a toddler but wouldn’t trade that for the world: they are some of my fondest memories.
I can’t imagine 4 little ones so close in age. Must be overwhelming for her. It’s good she has hired help.
Don’t be so dramatic. This mom 1) takes one camping trip a month 2) has a very part time summer volunteer job 3) works out a lot.
She’s raising her kids. She’s just also taking reasonable time away for herself.
I am a SAHM of young kids and very much in favor of SAHPs taking time away for themselves. But the amount of time OP's SIL is spending away from the kids/family seems pretty excessive. You think it's OK for her to be gone 1/4 weekends a year for non-necessary/leisure travel? That's pretty self-centered as a parent of young kids to take that much time for yourself. And it seems she doesn't enjoy the kids/family life. She probably isn't too fond of OP's brother either.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing wrong with being raised by nannies. This country is strange because there is such little family and community support. So instead we buy this help.
It is very hard raising young kids but not doing so is these parents’ loss. I had such hard times with a newborn and a toddler but wouldn’t trade that for the world: they are some of my fondest memories.
I can’t imagine 4 little ones so close in age. Must be overwhelming for her. It’s good she has hired help.
Don’t be so dramatic. This mom 1) takes one camping trip a month 2) has a very part time summer volunteer job 3) works out a lot.
She’s raising her kids. She’s just also taking reasonable time away for herself.
I am a SAHM of young kids and very much in favor of SAHPs taking time away for themselves. But the amount of time OP's SIL is spending away from the kids/family seems pretty excessive. You think it's OK for her to be gone 1/4 weekends a year for non-necessary/leisure travel? That's pretty self-centered as a parent of young kids to take that much time for yourself. And it seems she doesn't enjoy the kids/family life. She probably isn't too fond of OP's brother either.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing wrong with being raised by nannies. This country is strange because there is such little family and community support. So instead we buy this help.
It is very hard raising young kids but not doing so is these parents’ loss. I had such hard times with a newborn and a toddler but wouldn’t trade that for the world: they are some of my fondest memories.
I can’t imagine 4 little ones so close in age. Must be overwhelming for her. It’s good she has hired help.
Don’t be so dramatic. This mom 1) takes one camping trip a month 2) has a very part time summer volunteer job 3) works out a lot.
She’s raising her kids. She’s just also taking reasonable time away for herself.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing wrong with being raised by nannies. This country is strange because there is such little family and community support. So instead we buy this help.
It is very hard raising young kids but not doing so is these parents’ loss. I had such hard times with a newborn and a toddler but wouldn’t trade that for the world: they are some of my fondest memories.
I can’t imagine 4 little ones so close in age. Must be overwhelming for her. It’s good she has hired help.
Don’t be so dramatic. This mom 1) takes one camping trip a month 2) has a very part time summer volunteer job 3) works out a lot.
She’s raising her kids. She’s just also taking reasonable time away for herself.
Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing wrong with being raised by nannies. This country is strange because there is such little family and community support. So instead we buy this help.
It is very hard raising young kids but not doing so is these parents’ loss. I had such hard times with a newborn and a toddler but wouldn’t trade that for the world: they are some of my fondest memories.
I can’t imagine 4 little ones so close in age. Must be overwhelming for her. It’s good she has hired help.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is this new? If not why did your brother go in to have for kids with a woman who doesn’t want to parent? For kids under six is a LOT. If it is new has he sat down to talk to her about it rather than just criticizing her on how she’s living her life/implying she’s a bad parent? I mean sure maybe SIL’s a terrible person but it’s not like she created those kids in her own.
Seems to have developed after the first child. Not a strong connection with the kids. They all want him when they want a parent, not her. And yes, he has spoken to her directly, and with a couples therapist, and his own therapist. She simply says she doesn’t care what he thinks about her solo plans and she is goes anyway.
Anonymous wrote:How did they get to FOUR kids? That doesn't just happen overnight.
Was she involved and present when there were 1-2 kids? when there were 3?
I don't know how anyone can stay sane with 4 kids under 6.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Four kids under 6 is demanding and hard! Not all women are cut out for full-time motherhood. It’s better that she has some outlets and the ability to get away sometimes or she might end up taking out her frustrations on the kids. How much is too much time away — I don’t know. That’s for your brother to work out with his wife. Maybe they should talk to their pediatrician and a marriage counselor before they give up.
It’s ironic that your brother doesn’t want to have the kids full-time, either.
He does want them full time. I used a double negative, sorry.
Frankly he has no idea if he’d like kids to be his full time job or not.
it's not like he'd quit his job to stay home w the kids...he wants full custody, not wants the kids to be his full time job
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Four kids under 6 is demanding and hard! Not all women are cut out for full-time motherhood. It’s better that she has some outlets and the ability to get away sometimes or she might end up taking out her frustrations on the kids. How much is too much time away — I don’t know. That’s for your brother to work out with his wife. Maybe they should talk to their pediatrician and a marriage counselor before they give up.
It’s ironic that your brother doesn’t want to have the kids full-time, either.
He does want them full time. I used a double negative, sorry.
Frankly he has no idea if he’d like kids to be his full time job or not.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is this new? If not why did your brother go in to have for kids with a woman who doesn’t want to parent? For kids under six is a LOT. If it is new has he sat down to talk to her about it rather than just criticizing her on how she’s living her life/implying she’s a bad parent? I mean sure maybe SIL’s a terrible person but it’s not like she created those kids in her own.
Seems to have developed after the first child. Not a strong connection with the kids. They all want him when they want a parent, not her. And yes, he has spoken to her directly, and with a couples therapist, and his own therapist. She simply says she doesn’t care what he thinks about her solo plans and she is goes anyway.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Four kids under 6 is demanding and hard! Not all women are cut out for full-time motherhood. It’s better that she has some outlets and the ability to get away sometimes or she might end up taking out her frustrations on the kids. How much is too much time away — I don’t know. That’s for your brother to work out with his wife. Maybe they should talk to their pediatrician and a marriage counselor before they give up.
It’s ironic that your brother doesn’t want to have the kids full-time, either.
He does want them full time. I used a double negative, sorry.