Anonymous
07/07/2023 13:07
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a progressive community in CA with lots of "non-standard" relationships at the parent level--throuples, etc. The kids took it in stride and seemed mostly fine. This same community also had lots of really wealthy kids, many with divorced or workaholic parents or parents having extramarital affairs. Those kids really had some issues.
You can't really know that your peers, who were children when you were (if you "grew up" around the same time) were or still are "mostly fine."
Not commenting on the "non-standard" relationships per se, at all. Just noting here that saying "I grew up around kids in these families and they took it in stride etc." really means little; you can't actually know how in-stride they took anything, or how they see things now that they are adults and presumably you're no longer around them, unless you stayed in the area.
This is the kind of "evidence" that's not only purely anecdotal, it's based on your childhood and teen years and on a place you maybe no longer live. Not great to trot out as an example for anything. Neither is your claim that the "wealthy" kids and those with divorced or workaholic parents etc. had issues then or have them now. A kid's or teen's recollections aren't terribly useful years later, unless you're recollecting your own family's stuff.
I think it's correct that standards are based on reality not presumptions and if reality is working and matching up with presumptions than it's seen as safe. You could be in a harsh Muslim country and if there was no trauma than it's considered safe to be one of several wives. I think it depends on expectations and experience.
Anonymous
07/07/2023 13:05
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you’re in an open marriage, do your kids know?
Why would someone EVER tell your kids this!!!???
People who don't think it's wrong and don't want to lie to their kids about who they're spending time with.
I get that boundaries really aren't your thing but your kids really don't need to know everything you do.
So because our boundaries are not identical you think I have none?
Cute.
I’ll decide what my kids need to know. Thanks.
Of course you will because you and your fetish are all that matters and your fetish isn't real or exciting if everyone including children are involved.
Discussing your sex life nis generally frowned upon and considered abusive by some.
But you do you
ENM isn’t a fetish.
Who is discussing sex life?
Keep showing your ignorance and assumptions. It’s funny.
No dear you're just delusional.
But why are you posting it you're so sure in your decision?
Hmm. I mean it's your life and your kids. Why ask.?
Surely you weren't just looking for high fives.
But maybe you were since you chose to ask in relationships instead of parenting.
It's all about you and your endless need for attention.
Why do you think I’m OP?
Do you always make this many incorrect assumptions as you navigate life?
Anonymous
07/07/2023 13:03
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a progressive community in CA with lots of "non-standard" relationships at the parent level--throuples, etc. The kids took it in stride and seemed mostly fine. This same community also had lots of really wealthy kids, many with divorced or workaholic parents or parents having extramarital affairs. Those kids really had some issues.
You can't really know that your peers, who were children when you were (if you "grew up" around the same time) were or still are "mostly fine."
Not commenting on the "non-standard" relationships per se, at all. Just noting here that saying "I grew up around kids in these families and they took it in stride etc." really means little; you can't actually know how in-stride they took anything, or how they see things now that they are adults and presumably you're no longer around them, unless you stayed in the area.
This is the kind of "evidence" that's not only purely anecdotal, it's based on your childhood and teen years and on a place you maybe no longer live. Not great to trot out as an example for anything. Neither is your claim that the "wealthy" kids and those with divorced or workaholic parents etc. had issues then or have them now. A kid's or teen's recollections aren't terribly useful years later, unless you're recollecting your own family's stuff.
Anonymous
07/07/2023 13:02
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a progressive community in CA with lots of "non-standard" relationships at the parent level--throuples, etc. The kids took it in stride and seemed mostly fine. This same community also had lots of really wealthy kids, many with divorced or workaholic parents or parents having extramarital affairs. Those kids really had some issues. [/quote
I think because the standards are higher but reality is not matching the teaching. If you actually watch movies about kids who grew up in hippie communities they aren't able to function any better. They just accept it as normal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIQv1TZhWLA
Who said hippie community?
Free love. In the video around 13:00 it talks about free love and being naked and having lots of partners.
Anonymous
07/07/2023 13:00
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a progressive community in CA with lots of "non-standard" relationships at the parent level--throuples, etc. The kids took it in stride and seemed mostly fine. This same community also had lots of really wealthy kids, many with divorced or workaholic parents or parents having extramarital affairs. Those kids really had some issues. [/quote
I think because the standards are higher but reality is not matching the teaching. If you actually watch movies about kids who grew up in hippie communities they aren't able to function any better. They just accept it as normal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIQv1TZhWLA
Who said hippie community?
I am the PP from CA. I didn't grow up on a commune or anything. But, before the Bay Area got taken over by tech bros, it was a really strange but kind of awesome mix of really wealthy people, middle-aged former hippies, immigrants. I'm not saying the hippies kids were better off than mainstream kids. My point was just that, to me, it seemed like the hippie kids were less messed up by their parent's lifestyle choices than the kids of cheating/divorcing/workaholic parents.
Anonymous
07/07/2023 12:59
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you’re in an open marriage, do your kids know?
Why would someone EVER tell your kids this!!!???
People who don't think it's wrong and don't want to lie to their kids about who they're spending time with.
I get that boundaries really aren't your thing but your kids really don't need to know everything you do.
So because our boundaries are not identical you think I have none?
Cute.
I’ll decide what my kids need to know. Thanks.
Of course you will because you and your fetish are all that matters and your fetish isn't real or exciting if everyone including children are involved.
Discussing your sex life nis generally frowned upon and considered abusive by some.
But you do you
ENM isn’t a fetish.
Who is discussing sex life?
Keep showing your ignorance and assumptions. It’s funny.
It’s not a fetish but it IS about sex. Getting kids involved in that discussion is inappropriate IMO, just like discussing other sexual practices would be. I guess if there is a committed other relationship where the other partner will be introduced to the kids, then you might be more justified in explaining the relationship. But that’s also what makes ENM seem so weird - it’s hard enough to manage a step-parent situation. How can you possibly manage a 3rd party integrated into the family?
Anonymous
07/07/2023 12:58
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you’re in an open marriage, do your kids know?
Why would someone EVER tell your kids this!!!???
People who don't think it's wrong and don't want to lie to their kids about who they're spending time with.
I get that boundaries really aren't your thing but your kids really don't need to know everything you do.
So because our boundaries are not identical you think I have none?
Cute.
I’ll decide what my kids need to know. Thanks.
Of course you will because you and your fetish are all that matters and your fetish isn't real or exciting if everyone including children are involved.
Discussing your sex life nis generally frowned upon and considered abusive by some.
But you do you
ENM isn’t a fetish.
Who is discussing sex life?
Keep showing your ignorance and assumptions. It’s funny.
No dear you're just delusional.
But why are you posting it you're so sure in your decision?
Hmm. I mean it's your life and your kids. Why ask.?
Surely you weren't just looking for high fives.
But maybe you were since you chose to ask in relationships instead of parenting.
It's all about you and your endless need for attention.
Anonymous
07/07/2023 12:54
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you’re in an open marriage, do your kids know?
Why would someone EVER tell your kids this!!!???
People who don't think it's wrong and don't want to lie to their kids about who they're spending time with.
I get that boundaries really aren't your thing but your kids really don't need to know everything you do.
So because our boundaries are not identical you think I have none?
Cute.
I’ll decide what my kids need to know. Thanks.
Of course you will because you and your fetish are all that matters and your fetish isn't real or exciting if everyone including children are involved.
Discussing your sex life nis generally frowned upon and considered abusive by some.
But you do you
ENM isn’t a fetish.
Who is discussing sex life?
Keep showing your ignorance and assumptions. It’s funny.
Anonymous
07/07/2023 12:51
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:Keep your mental health defects to yourself
Don't you know op will decide what's right for her children?. It's her right!
Anonymous
07/07/2023 12:50
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you’re in an open marriage, do your kids know?
Why would someone EVER tell your kids this!!!???
People who don't think it's wrong and don't want to lie to their kids about who they're spending time with.
I get that boundaries really aren't your thing but your kids really don't need to know everything you do.
So because our boundaries are not identical you think I have none?
Cute.
I’ll decide what my kids need to know. Thanks.
Of course you will because you and your fetish are all that matters and your fetish isn't real or exciting if everyone including children are involved.
Discussing your sex life nis generally frowned upon and considered abusive by some.
But you do you
Anonymous
07/07/2023 12:45
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a progressive community in CA with lots of "non-standard" relationships at the parent level--throuples, etc. The kids took it in stride and seemed mostly fine. This same community also had lots of really wealthy kids, many with divorced or workaholic parents or parents having extramarital affairs. Those kids really had some issues. [/quote
I think because the standards are higher but reality is not matching the teaching. If you actually watch movies about kids who grew up in hippie communities they aren't able to function any better. They just accept it as normal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIQv1TZhWLA
Who said hippie community?
Anonymous
07/07/2023 12:43
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Keep your mental health defects to yourself
Anonymous
07/07/2023 12:41
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a progressive community in CA with lots of "non-standard" relationships at the parent level--throuples, etc. The kids took it in stride and seemed mostly fine. This same community also had lots of really wealthy kids, many with divorced or workaholic parents or parents having extramarital affairs. Those kids really had some issues. [/quote
I think because the standards are higher but reality is not matching the teaching. If you actually watch movies about kids who grew up in hippie communities they aren't able to function any better. They just accept it as normal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIQv1TZhWLA
Anonymous
07/07/2023 12:41
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
I'd think they'd find out when one partner meets someone they like more and there is a divorce
Anonymous
07/07/2023 12:38
Subject: Open Marriage with kids
I grew up in a progressive community in CA with lots of "non-standard" relationships at the parent level--throuples, etc. The kids took it in stride and seemed mostly fine. This same community also had lots of really wealthy kids, many with divorced or workaholic parents or parents having extramarital affairs. Those kids really had some issues.