You need to date someone who does not want kids. And be very careful using birth control with your current girlfriend. You've only been divorced a year.

You already have a family.

You need to tell her you don’t want more kids.she’s 32 and shouldn’t be wasting her time if you don’t and she does.

All these women waiting until their 30s to have children and then give ultimatum to potential mates.

Anonymous wrote:Have fun. Don’t-sweat it. Women can make their own minds. Doing anything else is playing dad
—45 year-old athletic female who looks young

Disagree. At 32 she could easily feel strung along. If he is done having kids he needs to tell her point blank and not give false hope, eating the time of a woman in her 30s is borderline amoral behavior.

She really needs to settle down and start trying for kids now or she could miss her fertility window. Please don’t rob her of that. You clearly aren’t there yet however wonderful she makes your ego full. Do the right thing and let her go do she can have her shot at a family too.

Why are we collectively guarding some ladies future
it makes no sense. i don’t think there is any ethical issue here as long as there is no lying or deceit

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have fun. Don’t-sweat it. Women can make their own minds. Doing anything else is playing dad
—45 year-old athletic female who looks young

She can only make up her own mind if she has all the relevant information.

Don’t string her along. Communicate clearly.

Still disagree. I would never share all my thoughts on everything with some guy I’m dating. She is an adult. SHE can ask her OWN questions

Find someone else you are more compatible with. Stop being selfish. You don’t want more kids, move on. Find a woman in her 40s who doesn’t want (more or any) kids and is less likely to get accidentally pregnant.

Her birth control could fail or not become available and you won’t be able to convince her not to have it. Seen this a lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get snipped.

Men who say they don't want more kids are suddenly eager to start a second family when a stunning 28 year old comes along. Thats why they resist the snip.

When I got the snip (after 2 kids), I was the only one of the 8 men there that day getting it done. The other 7 were older than me and getting it reversed -- second marriages, according to my urologist!

Anonymous wrote:Have fun. Don’t-sweat it. Women can make their own minds. Doing anything else is playing dad
—45 year-old athletic female who looks young

She can only make up her own mind if she has all the relevant information.

Don’t string her along. Communicate clearly.

Does she understand and respect the fact that your kids will be put first?

But they won’t be. He’s only got weekend custody. If he has more kids with new wife, they will come first because he’ll be around them the most.

I met my husband when he was 45 and divorced and I was 32. No issues at all, happily married and it's been 20 years. Sometimes the fact that we are of different generations is apparent (he's a boomer and I'm X), but it isn't a big deal.

He didn't have kids though. The issues y'all face will likely relate to that -- not the age gap. And there will be plenty of issues with that. People surmount them, though.

Does she understand and respect the fact that your kids will be put first? That is the bare minimum. Hopefully she encourages that. Otherwise? Hmm. Well, you'll figure it out.

Anonymous wrote:I would get snipped.

Men who say they don't want more kids are suddenly eager to start a second family when a stunning 28 year old comes along. Thats why they resist the snip.