Anonymous
07/04/2023 12:41
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
Anonymous wrote:Alcohol access is the common thread here. He has some tension about it.
Yes.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 12:16
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
Alcohol access is the common thread here. He has some tension about it.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 12:15
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
💩
Anonymous
07/04/2023 12:10
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
Anonymous wrote:Anybody else have a husband who reacts very aggressively if you “contradict” him in public? Mine is throwing in my face two instances where I spoke while he was interacting with a service person. 1) barmaid was bringing him a drink; I mentioned she seemed to be in the middle of pulling drinks for others at that moment and she said nope she was okay getting his; this was “humiliating.” 2) leaving a performance he mentioned to the bartender he had to pay a bill from something he ordered at intermission. I was confused bc I hadn’t known he ordered anything so I asked what was going on & why he was stopping. This too was a “humiliation.” I was yelled at for it last night and now it’s the first thing he wanted to talk about this morning.
It does sound like you monitor. And my guess is like many men, his frustrations grew over time and he’s finally reached his threshold of tolerance for it without saying something. So there are likely behavioral issues for both of you to work on.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 12:08
Subject: Re:“Contradicting” husband in public
I’m trying to switch the genders in my mind so I am not falling into genders stereotypes.
- the interaction with the person at the bar - saying they were too busy sounded like a correction of behavior. It really didn’t need to be said - the person at the bar is an adult that can speak for themselves. Your spouse is an adult that can decide if the service is so slow they would rather try a different bartender or give up or if they are willing to wait.
- The interaction at the performance was odd - without understanding the tone/body language and if this was one of those, we are really fighting about something else, but this is the trigger, hard to say what happened
- He should not be “yelling at you” regardless - he has the right to stand up for himself in how he wants to be treated and you have the same right and both should be able to be done without yelling.
- the interaction with the person at the bar - saying they were too busy sounded like a correction of behavior. It really didn’t need to be said - the person at the bar is an adult that can speak for themselves. Your spouse is an adult that can decide if the service is so slow they would rather try a different bartender or give up or if they are willing to wait.
- The interaction at the performance was odd - without understanding the tone/body language and if this was one of those, we are really fighting about something else, but this is the trigger, hard to say what happened
- He should not be “yelling at you” regardless - he has the right to stand up for himself in how he wants to be treated and you have the same right and both should be able to be done without yelling.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 11:42
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why are you a control freak? You aren’t his mother.
NP
Why is he so sensitive to ordinary questions? Why is his ego so fragile?
NP. I’m not sure I understand why OP needed to say anything in the middle of these conversations. It seems unnecessary.
+1 OP sounds annoying and controlling. Husband sounds over it.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 11:41
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
Anonymous wrote:Why are you a control freak? You aren’t his mother.
Yes to this. OP you sound like you love to micromanage his every interaction in public and then when called on it, act like an abuse victim.
He is a grown man that is allowed to order a drink with a bartender (not barmaid, jesus).
He is a responsible man to make sure his bill is paid before leaving a performance.
He does not require your permission or help with any of these actions unless asked. And he certainly does not need to be scolded in public by a nag.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 11:39
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
who says barmaid?
Anonymous
07/04/2023 11:38
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why are you a control freak? You aren’t his mother.
NP
Why is he so sensitive to ordinary questions? Why is his ego so fragile?
NP. I’m not sure I understand why OP needed to say anything in the middle of these conversations. It seems unnecessary.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 11:36
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
Anonymous wrote:Why are you a control freak? You aren’t his mother.
NP
Why is he so sensitive to ordinary questions? Why is his ego so fragile?
Anonymous
07/04/2023 11:34
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
My spouse challenging me in public about what I am doing in the midst of interactions would get old very fast.
Just let it go OP. You dont' need to police or control or direct his interactions. If you have an issue with someone, raise it later in a non confrontational way when in private.
Unless someone says something that is blatantly disrespectful, I wouldn't jump in.
Just let it go OP. You dont' need to police or control or direct his interactions. If you have an issue with someone, raise it later in a non confrontational way when in private.
Unless someone says something that is blatantly disrespectful, I wouldn't jump in.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 11:31
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should both stop drinking.
OP. I barely drink at all.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 11:27
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
I would be annoyed if my SO tried to control my interactions like this, HOWEVER, I wouldn't be so irate. Sounds like it is a mix between this and his sensitivity about drinking.
From now on just let him make a fool of himself and seem rude. It is on him, not you. And watch his drinking.
From now on just let him make a fool of himself and seem rude. It is on him, not you. And watch his drinking.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 10:59
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
Anonymous wrote:Lol @ barmaid. Who says that? Is it 1850?
People who get in trouble for contradicting their husbands, I guess.
Anonymous
07/04/2023 10:55
Subject: “Contradicting” husband in public
Lol @ barmaid. Who says that? Is it 1850?