Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you. Just want to be respectful of everyone involved.

I guess I'm intimately involved in every facet of my kids' lives, so I guess I feel like I would want to know with whom my kid is having a playdate.

I imagine this inability to have a say must be really hard, so impressed that you are all navigating it!

Thank you.

OP, you are a control freak. I can't imagine telling my DH that he is isn't allowed to schedule a playdate without my permission. So if your partner/spouse is with DC without you at a playground and a friend's parent wants to schedule a playdate right then, your DH/DW isn't permitted to do so? I'm also guessing that you schedule events without your DH/DW's advance permission ...

What a strange post. Is there something about your home that you would feel the need to clear with both parents - guns left out, dangerous dogs, bad neighborhood, someone in your family is a criminal?

My DD's bestie has divorced parents. I reach out to both parents every time.

My DD has one friend with divorced parents and I always communicate with the mom, but am very flexible about dates etc. the parents have a very amicable relationship it seems so this has worked fine. The girl has been able to make it to all birthday parties so far I think.

I am a divorced mom. Parents usually reach out to me. If their suggested time frame isn't on my time, I put them in contact with Dad and he takes it from there. Once you get to know the parents, the parents also get to know your schedule.
I have some divorced mom friends who are incredibly non accommodating so I don't blame you for being sensitive.

Talk to the one you have a relationship with/see most.

They can figure out what type of notice the other needs.

I just ask the mom, since that's usually who we know, and she'll pass it along to the dad if it's his time or let me know that the kid is with their dad that weekend or whatever. I don't seek permission from both parents; that's for them to handle.

Different poster here. Ex and I have a decent working relationship—it doesn’t matter who you contact, we try to coordinate as much as possible.

I guess my point is that there isn’t a hard and fast rule.