I would discuss pros /cons and if she still wants to I would do it but I would charge her a $3.00 taxi fee or charge in chores for my time. It could get it out of her system and a great money management learning experience

Anonymous wrote:Has she educated herself in the Curly Girl Method? I'd look into that before a blow out because the more you straighten the longer it takes to go back curls

THis. We were in a similar place, and my teen (now 17) is so much happier once she learned how to manage her curls and control the frizz. I don't think she would ever trade it for my boring straight hair now!
But I also feel like maybe let her do it once or twice where she pays for it, and the desire will probably burn out quickly. My kids always have these grand ideas about things that they are going to do with their hard-earned money. At some point, she'll want to buy Starbucks with her friends, and then will regret having wasted it all on a blowout that lasted 2 days.

I grew up with curly hair and depending on the current popular hair styles, it can be pretty tough. In the tweens/teen, everyone had stick straight hair and the message I got was curly/wavy hair = unattractive. And it's gets in deep to one's self-image.

Go on line and look at curly/wavy hair styles and fine some she likes. Find a stylist who specializes in curly hair, show the stylist pictures of the hairstyles, get a good cut, and have the stylist teach her how to manage the frizz/waves/curls. At another time, have the stylist teach her how to straighten her hair with a blow dryer and what products to use.

Now she's got two ways to style her hair AND she'll know how to do it. It will take a bit a practice, but should cost much less, be less damaging, and less emotionally fraught than paying someone to take care of her hair. It's a life skill and things like travel, sports, beach days, sleep-overs, etc., become less anxiety-inducing.

Having curly/wavy hair can be fraught with emotion and self-judgement. I think giving her options and things she can do herself is better than learning to need someone else to take care of her hair.

Good luck!

No. I would let her have a couple of appointments to learn how to blow it out herself, but I would not drive her weekly to a hair appointment. I can barely make my own appointments weekly!

Dyson airstraight is garbage. 10 passes on each section of hair to straighten it is horrible. A good flat iron does a significantly better job if you want sleek, smooth straight hair. But, it's all damaging to hair. Your DD should learn how to properly care for curly hair. Yeah, her hair is most likely curly.

12 - unreasonable. She should be learning to appreciate a wide range of - what is beautiful, in herself, in others. And deeper than looks. She should be occupied with other thoughts, bettering herself in other ways. So, don't promote this focus.

No way. I have naturally curly thick frizzy hair and she will ruin her natural curl pattern. I'd allow her to get her hair straightned for special occasions, but not regularly. If she wants it that bad she can figure out how to do it at home. She can easily figure it out on youtube.

Most importantly, I would encourage her to do some research on curly natural hair care. There are so many great products and tools that can help her have popping curls - frizz-free, moisturized, shiny and bouncy. As a kid of the 80s, I can tell you the hair game for curly girls is 1000% times better than what I had access to back then.. Trust me, she can't even imagine how good her curls can look with the right products and styling tools.

What type of curl pattern does she have?

Absolutely not. She can straighten it at home if she wants to, like a normal person.

Anonymous wrote:Have her get a keratin treatment. About $250-300 but they last up to 6 months

+1

Constant straightening sounds so bad for her hair. Won't that just make it more prone to frizziness?

I would let her do it. It’s her hair and something that’s really important to her.

Anonymous wrote:Has she educated herself in the Curly Girl Method? I'd look into that before a blow out because the more you straighten the longer it takes to go back curls

This…sounds like she has curly hair. She should work with it and see if she likes it curly.

So my initial thought was no I wouldn’t pay for this or let her pay for it. Then it occured to me that I have paid but in a different situation. I am white with short fine hair usually in a pony tail. DD is black and has gorgeous natural hair. I do not have the skill set for the styles she has requested so we pay for her to go to a black stylist every 2 weeks to get braids, twists, or whatever she wants. For me it’s part of the price we pay in raising a black daughter. Hair matters to them.

I don’t think I would agree to drive her to a hair appt weekly - just too much an investment of my time for something non-essential.

Have her get a keratin treatment. About $250-300 but they last up to 6 months