Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend like this in HS. She pretty much ate every meal at my house and slept over 90% of the time. My parents essentially unofficially took her in.

IMO, this is how you help. Be a safe place for the kid. Continue offering help, including explaining the negative impacts of weed on a teenage brain in a nonjudgmental, kind manner. Maybe call a school counselor. Encourage him to start looking at out of state colleges and help him with a path out of this situation after graduation.

I agree with this. I know it's an inconvenience but you could really be making a difference in the life of this kid. My parents did something similar, and the friend still talks about it, visits them, etc.

My first thought was that the kid is crying on the porch because OP just kicked him out of her house, not necessarily because he’s suicidal.

How do you know the kid is getting weed and alcohol from his parents with their knowledge/consent? Did you consider that maybe he is taking it from them when they’re not looking?

OP you sound like kind of a jerk here.

Call cps I wished someone called for me when I was a kid.

Why did you kick him out???

Anonymous wrote:So the kid is depressed and suicidal sitting on your porch crying and you just gave him some hotline #s and left him on your porch and asked dcum what to do? Just because you smelled weed?

NGL, this was my TA as well.

Anonymous wrote:The mom has a medical marijuana card and I think both parents are alcoholics. The kid is in my son’s friend group and often supplies the kids with drugs and alcohol; that his parents give him freely. Yes that’s a whole other issue I am trying to address.

But I am posting because the kid is also depressed and possibly suicidal. I know this because I just kicked him out of my house for smelling like weed. and he is sitting on the front porch crying. I gave him a few resources including the Everymind text number here in MoCo. Mobile Crisis Team number and 988. But what else can I do?

The drugs have to stop because they aren’t helping. But I feel the kid is doomed if his parents are enabling him. I just feel helpless. Way in over my head.

Wow, OP, you are a HORRIBLE PERSON.

A child who you know, who is friends with your child, is struggling such that you believe he is suicidal and your response is to kick him out and give him a hotline to text?

How about NOT kicking him out and talking to him? How about not making the problem worse? You are not helpless. You are an adult. He is a child who is not being parented by his parents and is being coldly sent to cry on the porch by a potentially supportive adult.

I think you should look in the mirror and think about who you really want to be in this situation.

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend like this in HS. She pretty much ate every meal at my house and slept over 90% of the time. My parents essentially unofficially took her in.

IMO, this is how you help. Be a safe place for the kid. Continue offering help, including explaining the negative impacts of weed on a teenage brain in a nonjudgmental, kind manner. Maybe call a school counselor. Encourage him to start looking at out of state colleges and help him with a path out of this situation after graduation.

Anonymous wrote:Can school counselor help him get resiurces? I guess not over the summer….

I think some counselors work over the summer. There's a chance the counselor would call CPS.

Do not call CPS. I promise it will make life harder for everyone (including you and your kid). Call one of the parents and have a conversation. Start from a good place, i.e. "your kid is great and my son loves him a lot and I want to support him, but I'm worried about him..."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend like this in HS. She pretty much ate every meal at my house and slept over 90% of the time. My parents essentially unofficially took her in.

Did she turn out ok? or still struggle?

Unfortunately, both the kids my parents took in continue to struggle. It is hard to overcome years of abuse and instability and mental illness even with love and kindness. But I am still friends with both of them 20 plus years later and they both still consider my family their family. I wish it had turned out better.

Do you know for sure that the parents are supplying him with drugs and alcohol, or is this just what the child is saying? Do you know the parents well? Maybe you should reach out to the parents and let them know.

I only say this because I have a DD who struggles with depression and anxiety and has ADHD. She has not gotten into drugs and alcohol (and I know this for sure), but she does frequently lie to friends. She will often paint herself as a victim so that others will feel sorry for her and stay friends with her. Some of the things she has said would have possibly triggered a call to CPS, which would make an already delicate and stressful situation even worse. Thankfully, we have had other parents reach out to us about things she has said, and then we can let her therapist/psychiatrist know, which has really helped optimize her therapy and meds.

Maybe that is not what is going on here, but if the parents have resources for him, if he has a doctor and therapist, it would be best if those people could help address the problem without bringing CPS into it.

So the kid is depressed and suicidal sitting on your porch crying and you just gave him some hotline #s and left him on your porch and asked dcum what to do? Just because you smelled weed?

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend like this in HS. She pretty much ate every meal at my house and slept over 90% of the time. My parents essentially unofficially took her in.

Did she turn out ok? or still struggle?

I had a friend like this in HS. She pretty much ate every meal at my house and slept over 90% of the time. My parents essentially unofficially took her in.

His parents are unfit and he’s a danger to himself or your son and his friends.

1) Either mind your business and restrict your son from hanging around him

2) Reach out to the parents directly to confront them

3) Call CPS to report the fact that they are supplying their minor child with drugs and alcohol

All of those choices come with trade offs and varying levels of stress and conflict, so make your choice according to what you can and are willing to tolerate.