Anonymous wrote:The most important thing to ask yourself is whether this person's drinking is interfering with his/her ability to function. If this person is having trouble maintaining employment and/or relationships, managing personal and professional responsibilities, repeated trouble with the law (DUI or arrest for disorderly conduct or assault related to a substance,) this person likely has a problem with alcohol. It's not as important to monitor exactly how many drinks this person has and when they have them, but rather does the drinking get in the way of this person's ability to live their lives in a responsible and meaningful way.

This is very misguided. I was a problem drinker for years and continued to maintain all of the above. I was still a mess psychologically and far from a good version of myself. Run OP!!!

My DH could probably drink 6 beers in 3 hours, but usually that is spread across a longer time period. However he doesn't drink any alcohol during the week, and he only drinks low alcohol beer. He's a quantity drinker so sometimes he doesn't even realize he's drinking a lot, so now he'll drink sparkling water or club soda after a beer or two to avoid drinking too much.

That’s an alcoholic’s drinking pattern, anyway.

A classic test is whether the individual can set a limit in advance on the quantity of alcohol they will consume in a session, day, etc., and then unfailingly stick to that number. One of the hallmarks of alcoholism is the inability to predict/control consumption after the first drink.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Six drinks is nothing… If you think six drinks makes someone an alcoholic, then everyone attending college is an alcoholic.

A skewed perception of social norms about drinking is a red flag for alcoholism.

Alcoholics attend meetings. 🖕

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most important thing to ask yourself is whether this person's drinking is interfering with his/her ability to function. If this person is having trouble maintaining employment and/or relationships, managing personal and professional responsibilities, repeated trouble with the law (DUI or arrest for disorderly conduct or assault related to a substance,) this person likely has a problem with alcohol. It's not as important to monitor exactly how many drinks this person has and when they have them, but rather does the drinking get in the way of this person's ability to live their lives in a responsible and meaningful way.

I’m the PP. This is also well intentioned BS.

Many alcoholics are able to remain functional for years, decades even. They have steady jobs, even successful jobs. They have friends and families who care about them and who they care about. Sometimes it’s only the people living in the house with them who know the extent of the dysfunction and chaos.

Trust me, you don’t want to be part of that inner circle. Even with a functional alcoholic, it can be hell.

This. My DH is highly functioning. He has a demanding job, decent relationships with people and ample savings. However he’s a disaster with me at home. It’s been a disaster of a marriage and I’m scared of him. People would be shocked if they watched how he treats me when he drinks.

Anonymous wrote:The most important thing to ask yourself is whether this person's drinking is interfering with his/her ability to function. If this person is having trouble maintaining employment and/or relationships, managing personal and professional responsibilities, repeated trouble with the law (DUI or arrest for disorderly conduct or assault related to a substance,) this person likely has a problem with alcohol. It's not as important to monitor exactly how many drinks this person has and when they have them, but rather does the drinking get in the way of this person's ability to live their lives in a responsible and meaningful way.

I’m the PP. This is also well intentioned BS.

Many alcoholics are able to remain functional for years, decades even. They have steady jobs, even successful jobs. They have friends and families who care about them and who they care about. Sometimes it’s only the people living in the house with them who know the extent of the dysfunction and chaos.

Trust me, you don’t want to be part of that inner circle. Even with a functional alcoholic, it can be hell.

skatnixpanda wrote:It's never an easy situation, but there are a few things you might want to keep an eye on:

Frequency: Is it just on the weekends or does it become more frequent?
Quantity: Is he always drinking to excess, or are there times when he has just one or two drinks?
Behavior: Does his behavior drastically change when he drinks? Does he become violent, aggressive, or dangerous?
Dependency: Does he NEED the drinks? If he doesn't have them, does he become irritable or anxious?
These might indicate a larger problem with alcohol, such as alcoholism. Communication is critical here. Express your concerns to him, and observe his reactions. Is he dismissive of your worries? Or does he take you seriously and consider your feelings?

Also, if you're concerned about any legal issues such as DUIs, you might be able to find out through personal data verifications, provided that you follow all applicable privacy laws. Keep in mind that you might need his consent to do this, depending on your local laws, so consult with a legal professional if you're unsure. A DUI conviction is a part of a person's criminal record and can come up during the verifications. It's a serious offense that could indicate a lack of judgment, especially when it comes to safety.

Remember, your safety and peace of mind are paramount. If his drinking habits make you uncomfortable, it's crucial to address it head-on. Trust your gut feeling and don't ignore any red flags.

The last paragraph here is the only one you need to pay attention to. Does it make you uncomfortable?

If so, trust your gut. You don’t need to address it with him though. You can just walk away.


The rest of this post is well intentioned BS.

Anonymous wrote:Been dating a guy who drinks heavy. He’s had 6 drinks in front of me over a couple of hours. He claims he mostly drinks on weekends. I’m skeptical. What should I be on the lookout for?

You got one!

Run!!!

Anonymous wrote:Been dating a guy who drinks heavy. He’s had 6 drinks in front of me over a couple of hours. He claims he mostly drinks on weekends. I’m skeptical. What should I be on the lookout for?

look at his relatives for clues. Find out how people in his family died. Liver cirrhosis? Any relatives in a wheelchair from a car accident (drunk driver)? Also, you can smell alcohol when they sweat.

Anonymous wrote:Six drinks is nothing… If you think six drinks makes someone an alcoholic, then everyone attending college is an alcoholic.

A skewed perception of social norms about drinking is a red flag for alcoholism.

What is the true definition of an alcoholic?

A chronic disease in which a person craves drinks that contain alcohol and is unable to control his or her drinking. A person with this disease also needs to drink greater amounts to get the same effect and has withdrawal symptoms after stopping alcohol use.

Six drinks is nothing… If you think six drinks makes someone an alcoholic, then everyone attending college is an alcoholic.

The most important thing to ask yourself is whether this person's drinking is interfering with his/her ability to function. If this person is having trouble maintaining employment and/or relationships, managing personal and professional responsibilities, repeated trouble with the law (DUI or arrest for disorderly conduct or assault related to a substance,) this person likely has a problem with alcohol. It's not as important to monitor exactly how many drinks this person has and when they have them, but rather does the drinking get in the way of this person's ability to live their lives in a responsible and meaningful way.

Scientists Uncover Alarming Truth: Light Drinking Causes Brain Damage!

In a groundbreaking new study, researchers have discovered a significant association between light-to-moderate drinking and harmful effects on the brain. Even consumption levels considered modest, such as a few beers or glasses of wine per week, were found to carry risks to overall brain volume.

The study, which analyzed data from over 36,000 adults, revealed a compelling relationship between alcohol consumption and reduced brain volume that begins at levels as low as half a beer per day. As each additional drink is consumed, the negative impact on the brain intensifies, indicating a clear correlation between alcohol intake and brain health.

The Deteriorating Effect of Alcohol on the Brain

The research team from the University of Pennsylvania conducted an in-depth analysis of the data set comprising over 36,000 adults. Their findings demonstrated that consuming two drinks a day, as compared to one, was equivalent to the brain aging two years. Moreover, heavier drinking was shown to have an even greater toll on brain health. Individuals who engage in heavy drinking exhibit alterations in brain structure and size that are associated with cognitive impairments. These findings clearly highlight the detrimental relationship between heavy drinking and the brain.

Moderate Drinking’s Surprising Impact on Brain Health

Contrary to previous beliefs, a new study has shed light on the potential risks of light-to-moderate alcohol consumption on the brain. The University of Pennsylvania research team, utilizing the extensive dataset of over 36,000 adults, discovered a noteworthy correlation between light-to-moderate drinking and reductions in overall brain volume. The link between alcohol consumption and brain health becomes increasingly apparent with higher levels of alcohol intake. For instance, in 50-year-olds, as the average drinking among individuals increases from half a beer to a pint of beer or a glass of wine per day, changes in the brain equivalent to aging two years are observed. Progressing from two to three alcohol units at the same age is akin to aging three and a half years. These intriguing findings were published in the prestigious journal Nature Communications.