Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would love some tips on how to be charismatic, as I am definitely not! I have no idea how to be more like that. I'm more of a serious type of introvert who prefers one on one conversation.

The dressing well part is easy to do and I do make an effort in that area. I don't think anyone notices or cares though.

Some of the moms have older kids and yes, those families do hang out together. Most of the class has a child in first grade (our class) and then one in third or fourth. And the rest of the moms have a child in our class and a younger sibling, and they all hang out together. Whenever I invite my child's first grade friends on a playdate out somewhere, the moms always bring the older or younger siblings, which I find a bit annoying. Unless it's a playdate at our house, they always bring the siblings, even if it's an activity the other sibling wouldn't really like. So I feel like we are the odd ones out, being the only only child family in the class because we don't have another family we connect with in that way.

But it really bothers me when I attend the all-class events or school events, and I'll try to make small talk with a mom, and she'll chat for a polite minute or two and then make an excuse and leave. How do I handle this problem? I don't get why I'm not interesting enough to chat with for a few minutes. I find it very off-putting.

Don't expect reciprocation. If you have a kid who always wants playdates (common w/ only children, IME), then understand you'll be doing most of the hosting. My kids were always happy to go on playdates, but never asked to have them. I mean never. They were happy hanging at home, playing w/ sibling, or doing their extracurricular activities. Get your kid involved in a sport or some other activity outside of school.

As for all the advice on how to get people more interested in you, I don't think it has anything to do w/ how you dress/look. It has to do w/ you being boring. Not sure exactly how you work on that, or even if you need to, but just know it's not your clothes, etc. I know plenty of people who are frumpy (yes, even at private schools!), but funny, smart, and great conversationalists who have tons of friends.

Also does your child play well with siblings?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would love some tips on how to be charismatic, as I am definitely not! I have no idea how to be more like that. I'm more of a serious type of introvert who prefers one on one conversation.

The dressing well part is easy to do and I do make an effort in that area. I don't think anyone notices or cares though.

Some of the moms have older kids and yes, those families do hang out together. Most of the class has a child in first grade (our class) and then one in third or fourth. And the rest of the moms have a child in our class and a younger sibling, and they all hang out together. Whenever I invite my child's first grade friends on a playdate out somewhere, the moms always bring the older or younger siblings, which I find a bit annoying. Unless it's a playdate at our house, they always bring the siblings, even if it's an activity the other sibling wouldn't really like. So I feel like we are the odd ones out, being the only only child family in the class because we don't have another family we connect with in that way.

But it really bothers me when I attend the all-class events or school events, and I'll try to make small talk with a mom, and she'll chat for a polite minute or two and then make an excuse and leave. How do I handle this problem? I don't get why I'm not interesting enough to chat with for a few minutes. I find it very off-putting.

This is easy. Get her to talk about herself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am definitely not charismatic. More of an introvert. Do I present well? I'm not really sure. I'm slim and dress nicely, not frumpy, but not anything special. I have an interesting job.

When we're at events, like the end of the year program, the other parents will chat with me for like 2 minutes and then cut the conversation short to move on to talk to someone more interesting. I've definitely noticed this at school events. I have tried to get to know them but they definitely don't seem interested in getting to know me. I don't really know what is going on with that.

This is not going to be popular but here goes.. Dress well (make an effort) so you'll stand out. Throw on a love bangle, wear your Hermes bag, etc. Avoid "comfy" clothes. Then, be assertive. Continue to be a part of the conversation. If people are floating around and float past you after a hello, then follow them and float around yourself.

Ask others questions that they will be proud to answer. People love talking about themselves. "I noticed you have a fully electric vehicle. That's fab. Tell me the difference its made in your life..etc.."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would love some tips on how to be charismatic, as I am definitely not! I have no idea how to be more like that. I'm more of a serious type of introvert who prefers one on one conversation.

The dressing well part is easy to do and I do make an effort in that area. I don't think anyone notices or cares though.

Some of the moms have older kids and yes, those families do hang out together. Most of the class has a child in first grade (our class) and then one in third or fourth. And the rest of the moms have a child in our class and a younger sibling, and they all hang out together. Whenever I invite my child's first grade friends on a playdate out somewhere, the moms always bring the older or younger siblings, which I find a bit annoying. Unless it's a playdate at our house, they always bring the siblings, even if it's an activity the other sibling wouldn't really like. So I feel like we are the odd ones out, being the only only child family in the class because we don't have another family we connect with in that way.

But it really bothers me when I attend the all-class events or school events, and I'll try to make small talk with a mom, and she'll chat for a polite minute or two and then make an excuse and leave. How do I handle this problem? I don't get why I'm not interesting enough to chat with for a few minutes. I find it very off-putting.

Don't expect reciprocation. If you have a kid who always wants playdates (common w/ only children, IME), then understand you'll be doing most of the hosting. My kids were always happy to go on playdates, but never asked to have them. I mean never. They were happy hanging at home, playing w/ sibling, or doing their extracurricular activities. Get your kid involved in a sport or some other activity outside of school.

As for all the advice on how to get people more interested in you, I don't think it has anything to do w/ how you dress/look. It has to do w/ you being boring. Not sure exactly how you work on that, or even if you need to, but just know it's not your clothes, etc. I know plenty of people who are frumpy (yes, even at private schools!), but funny, smart, and great conversationalists who have tons of friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would love some tips on how to be charismatic, as I am definitely not! I have no idea how to be more like that. I'm more of a serious type of introvert who prefers one on one conversation.

The dressing well part is easy to do and I do make an effort in that area. I don't think anyone notices or cares though.

Some of the moms have older kids and yes, those families do hang out together. Most of the class has a child in first grade (our class) and then one in third or fourth. And the rest of the moms have a child in our class and a younger sibling, and they all hang out together. Whenever I invite my child's first grade friends on a playdate out somewhere, the moms always bring the older or younger siblings, which I find a bit annoying. Unless it's a playdate at our house, they always bring the siblings, even if it's an activity the other sibling wouldn't really like. So I feel like we are the odd ones out, being the only only child family in the class because we don't have another family we connect with in that way.

But it really bothers me when I attend the all-class events or school events, and I'll try to make small talk with a mom, and she'll chat for a polite minute or two and then make an excuse and leave. How do I handle this problem? I don't get why I'm not interesting enough to chat with for a few minutes. I find it very off-putting.

Don't expect reciprocation. If you have a kid who always wants playdates (common w/ only children, IME), then understand you'll be doing most of the hosting. My kids were always happy to go on playdates, but never asked to have them. I mean never. They were happy hanging at home, playing w/ sibling, or doing their extracurricular activities. Get your kid involved in a sport or some other activity outside of school.

As for all the advice on how to get people more interested in you, I don't think it has anything to do w/ how you dress/look. It has to do w/ you being boring. Not sure exactly how you work on that, or even if you need to, but just know it's not your clothes, etc. I know plenty of people who are frumpy (yes, even at private schools!), but funny, smart, and great conversationalists who have tons of friends.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would love some tips on how to be charismatic, as I am definitely not! I have no idea how to be more like that. I'm more of a serious type of introvert who prefers one on one conversation.

The dressing well part is easy to do and I do make an effort in that area. I don't think anyone notices or cares though.

Some of the moms have older kids and yes, those families do hang out together. Most of the class has a child in first grade (our class) and then one in third or fourth. And the rest of the moms have a child in our class and a younger sibling, and they all hang out together. Whenever I invite my child's first grade friends on a playdate out somewhere, the moms always bring the older or younger siblings, which I find a bit annoying. Unless it's a playdate at our house, they always bring the siblings, even if it's an activity the other sibling wouldn't really like. So I feel like we are the odd ones out, being the only only child family in the class because we don't have another family we connect with in that way.

But it really bothers me when I attend the all-class events or school events, and I'll try to make small talk with a mom, and she'll chat for a polite minute or two and then make an excuse and leave. How do I handle this problem? I don't get why I'm not interesting enough to chat with for a few minutes. I find it very off-putting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am definitely not charismatic. More of an introvert. Do I present well? I'm not really sure. I'm slim and dress nicely, not frumpy, but not anything special. I have an interesting job.

When we're at events, like the end of the year program, the other parents will chat with me for like 2 minutes and then cut the conversation short to move on to talk to someone more interesting. I've definitely noticed this at school events. I have tried to get to know them but they definitely don't seem interested in getting to know me. I don't really know what is going on with that.

Well thank god you're slim. Heaven forbid you're fat.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would love some tips on how to be charismatic, as I am definitely not! I have no idea how to be more like that. I'm more of a serious type of introvert who prefers one on one conversation.

The dressing well part is easy to do and I do make an effort in that area. I don't think anyone notices or cares though.

Some of the moms have older kids and yes, those families do hang out together. Most of the class has a child in first grade (our class) and then one in third or fourth. And the rest of the moms have a child in our class and a younger sibling, and they all hang out together. Whenever I invite my child's first grade friends on a playdate out somewhere, the moms always bring the older or younger siblings, which I find a bit annoying. Unless it's a playdate at our house, they always bring the siblings, even if it's an activity the other sibling wouldn't really like. So I feel like we are the odd ones out, being the only only child family in the class because we don't have another family we connect with in that way.

But it really bothers me when I attend the all-class events or school events, and I'll try to make small talk with a mom, and she'll chat for a polite minute or two and then make an excuse and leave. How do I handle this problem? I don't get why I'm not interesting enough to chat with for a few minutes. I find it very off-putting.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am definitely not charismatic. More of an introvert. Do I present well? I'm not really sure. I'm slim and dress nicely, not frumpy, but not anything special. I have an interesting job.

When we're at events, like the end of the year program, the other parents will chat with me for like 2 minutes and then cut the conversation short to move on to talk to someone more interesting. I've definitely noticed this at school events. I have tried to get to know them but they definitely don't seem interested in getting to know me. I don't really know what is going on with that.