Just say no?

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn’t like her in laws. Thread number 1,879,356 on this topic on DCUM. Yawn.

She’s willing to travel to them, bring kids, stay in a hotel and pay for a hotel, and buy restaurant and takeout meals, and groceries and cook for 10 people at their house. And THIS is your takeaway? OK, Linda. Sorry you don’t like your DIL, but don’t project. OP is asking for help and strategies on how to fulfill their rather tall-order wishes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean I get it’s a pain but if your excuse is that it can’t be done safely, you’re wrong. Potato salad will be fine in a cooler on ice for your trip.

Potato salad was an example you nitwit. OP’s in-laws are asking them to bring multiple homemade MEALS for 10 people.

🙄🙄
The point is that OP’s excuse is not valid (potato salad was an example you nitwit). “It can’t be done safely” just isn’t true. If they don’t want to do it, just say that instead of giving a lame excuse that’s easily refuted.

Biologist here, but you really don't need a biologist to tell you that it would be VERY difficult to transport large quantities of mayo-containing items and keep them sufficiently cold for that long not to risk food poisoning.

This is pretty typical in my family. MIL and I plan the menu in advance. MIL does some grocery shopping in advance and then when I arrive we finish up. We cook all the good together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean I get it’s a pain but if your excuse is that it can’t be done safely, you’re wrong. Potato salad will be fine in a cooler on ice for your trip.

Potato salad was an example you nitwit. OP’s in-laws are asking them to bring multiple homemade MEALS for 10 people.

🙄🙄
The point is that OP’s excuse is not valid (potato salad was an example you nitwit). “It can’t be done safely” just isn’t true. If they don’t want to do it, just say that instead of giving a lame excuse that’s easily refuted.

Dp. I think you’re missing that it’s not the 5 hour car ride… it’s a 5 hour car ride and then x number of nights in a hotel room. I’d be uncomfortable serving something with eggs in it that hadn’t been refrigerated for days. But I suppose everyone is different.

Just do Instacart pickup when you get there and drop the stuff off at their place. What are they going to do, turn down the food for the week once it’s there? Sounds like a crappy vacation if you’re fronting the food cost for 10 people for the week, plus a hotel stay somewhere that’s fun / worth visiting for the 4th.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean I get it’s a pain but if your excuse is that it can’t be done safely, you’re wrong. Potato salad will be fine in a cooler on ice for your trip.

Potato salad was an example you nitwit. OP’s in-laws are asking them to bring multiple homemade MEALS for 10 people.

🙄🙄
The point is that OP’s excuse is not valid (potato salad was an example you nitwit). “It can’t be done safely” just isn’t true. If they don’t want to do it, just say that instead of giving a lame excuse that’s easily refuted.

NP. OK, congrats, you made the point that one batch of potato salad—good for the day of transport only, which will be eaten by 10 people and gone after one meal—can be achieved. There are now, what, 9 more meals for 10 people to go? Give advice for those *9 additional meals for 10 people* or move on.

Anonymous wrote:Say things are homemade when you actually just buy them locally. Just to your parents-in-law.

This is what I would do… bring some Tupperware or Pyrex dishes and make it look like it was home made.

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn’t like her in laws. Thread number 1,879,356 on this topic on DCUM. Yawn.

She didn’t say anything about them as people. She’s asking for suggestions to handle unreasonable requests. Couples who work full time and parent minor children probably would like to enjoy the holiday and time off work. They probably don’t want to several evenings before the trip meal planning, shopping, cooking, and cleaning up in preparation for traveling with multiple homemade meals for 10 people. That’s pretty easy to understand. Presumably, in-laws are older and don’t have the wherewithal to do this kind of labor. That’s understandable and totally fine, but if you aren’t going to do any of the work, you don’t get to be the one who decides how labor intensive the meals will be.

Have your DH tell them what you are willing to do. That’s it. Why are you engaging in a negotiation over this?
If they say “Why can’t you make the lasagna?”
He says “Sorry, not this time.”
“Why can’t you make and bring the sides?”
Your DH - “Sorry, not this time.”

Then pull out the food you are contributing and if they say they don’t like it; they don’t want it, it’s not god enough, whatever, just say “Sorry you feel that way” and continue on.

How old are the ILs? I can see my parents doing this in the near future. As they get older, they get more rigid.

Anonymous wrote:Stay home.

Exactly! +1

Do what you need to do and don’t discuss it with them. Just say you’ve got it covered and will take care of the food. If they aren’t willing/able to help cook, do what makes sense for you. So what if they grumble?

OP doesn’t like her in laws. Thread number 1,879,356 on this topic on DCUM. Yawn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean I get it’s a pain but if your excuse is that it can’t be done safely, you’re wrong. Potato salad will be fine in a cooler on ice for your trip.

Potato salad was an example you nitwit. OP’s in-laws are asking them to bring multiple homemade MEALS for 10 people.

🙄🙄
The point is that OP’s excuse is not valid (potato salad was an example you nitwit). “It can’t be done safely” just isn’t true. If they don’t want to do it, just say that instead of giving a lame excuse that’s easily refuted.