One of the best pieces of advice I ever read was while you’re decluttering and purging, if you come across something and have the “but I might need it/use it/miss it one day…” then give yourself permission to buy it again if you need it. Seems wasteful but I guarantee you that you won’t need to re buy it. And if you do, then you will appreciate it more! But in my decade of doing this only ONCE have I had to re purchase something and I got it second hand!

It's a work in progress here. But lists, and no screens until the list is complete (for us it's: pick up shoes, hallway bench, and stairs, which is where their stuff accumulates). One kid washes dishes daily and the younger empties dish drain and dishwasher. The dishes are for money but are non negotiable. At the end of the day, reminder to pick up clothes and trash in their room (so there might still be books or other junk around, but those 2 categories are quick and easy so there's no complaining).

Have a place for everything.
And we have a house cleaner every two weeks, and yes, it's nice that they do the cleaning, but it absolutely forces us to do a full declutter on a regular basis. I also TRY to regularly pick one drawer/shelf/closet etc to declutter. Usually a small task on its own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As far as organization goes, when you go to tidy up, is there an appropriate and accessible place to put everything?

If there is, you’re already organized. You can play at the margins to make things easier (like a basket for shoes instead of cubbies) but basically, you’re there.

So at that point it’s just about setting up routines for everyone to tidy and clean.

If, when you go to tidy, you find that the spaces where things go are already full (eg you pick up the jar of cinnamon on the counter and open the spice drawer, but you can’t jam it in there) or you have a big pile of things without an appropriate home (eg you pick up a tennis racket and end up putting it on top of a pile of other stuff in the garage), then you have a clutter/organization problem.

NP here. The issue in our house is, if I am the only person who puts things away, and all the kids and the spouse can't be bothered, it is very hard for one person to keep up with all those messy people who don't notice, care, etc. that things are out of place. It can be exhausting and discouraging, after years of them not putting stuff back where it so obviously belongs.

Combine this with a spouse who did not grow up with a garage, so does not understand the use of a garage, along with a spouse that grew up with clutter and covered surfaces everywhere, and it is a recipe for a big mess.

What does this mean?

DP, but a recent WaPo article on clutter said something that rang true to me. It quoted a person saying, some people have a "junk" drawer, I have a "junk" garage.

I'm super organzied, Type A. I have 3 kids and an ADHD spouse. I 100% clean up after spouse, but I love doing it for him/don't mind/he's doing other things like cooking, fixing, grocery shopping.

Clutter on kitchen counter (dishes, utensils, spices, mail, condiments, cereal)- ZERO things need to be on the kitchen counter. If you have 1-2 things on the counter, then more appear. It's like a party and they invite their friends. Dirty dishes always need to go in the dishwasher. Utensils go in their drawer or in the dishwasher. Spices go in the spice rack/drawer. Mail- you need to get on email/autopay/paperless billing. And then everything that comes in the physical mailbox is trash. Condiments- fridge or pantry. Cereal- buy only 2 brands and they go in the pantry.
Dinning table also always clutter- this one is hard for me too. My only solution is that it's all cleaned up before dinner and then after dinner we clean it up again.
shoes on the entrance- we have a boot tray. Each kid is allowed one pair of shoes on there. The rest need to go to their closets.
kids clothes, back packs, books, games in the living room, dining. This is probably hard if you don't have a garage. We have hooks in the garage. Each kid puts their backpack on the hook. Books go in bedrooms, games in the linen closet upstairs. Kid clothes go in their closets or the laundry hamper. I prefer one hamper in the bathroom so that I can just pick them all up from one place instead of going to their rooms.
spouses wine bottles/glasses, opened or unopened packages, tennis racket and skates in the loving room.- do you have a garage or storage shed? Tennis and skates shouldn't come inside. Wine bottles need to be in the cabinet/pantry/wine rack and glasses go in the dishwasher.
Dog toys are all over the place- Get a basket and then assign this chore to one of your kids.

You didn't wait too long. Tweens should be easier to make do chores than toddlers or preschoolers.

Anonymous wrote:Our problem is mostly random paper clutter. And the fix at our house is to be more ruthless about moving extraneous paper into the recycle bin.

One thing that has worked for me is just having one big drawer for “important” paper I feel I need to keep. Yes, that means I have to dig through it to find something I’m looking for. In practice though I almost never go back for the paper copy of anything. So it’s more efficient to dig through if I do need something. I find that time spent organizing paper is basically wasted.

Elfa, bought from Container Store at their annual end of year sale on Elfa. Having a specific place to put everything helped hugely.

Our problem is mostly random paper clutter. And the fix at our house is to be more ruthless about moving extraneous paper into the recycle bin.

Anonymous wrote:Military spouse here, who moved repeatedly for about 10 years. At one point we had a tiny kitchen and I had to get ruthless. One common problem that I had was that my cabinets were storing things I didn’t really use. So that meant the stuff I did use had no place to go other than the counter.

So I dug deep on the things I was hanging on to. I didn’t ever use that asparagus pot, the rice cooker, the immersion blender. It wasn’t easy to let them go (I had the best intentions of using them someday!), but it had to be done.

Same thing with my clothes. I had old things in my drawers and no rooms for the clothes I actually wore. I ruthlessly culled it at one point and now I have space. It’s much easier to work with now.

Yeah, in a small kitchen you might have to get rid of things you actually use. “Do I use it” isn’t really a good test in that situation, it’s more “do I use it enough for it to make the cut for a slot in the limited space available.” You only get to keep as much as will fit (neatly, accessibly) in the cabinets.

Military spouse here, who moved repeatedly for about 10 years. At one point we had a tiny kitchen and I had to get ruthless. One common problem that I had was that my cabinets were storing things I didn’t really use. So that meant the stuff I did use had no place to go other than the counter.

So I dug deep on the things I was hanging on to. I didn’t ever use that asparagus pot, the rice cooker, the immersion blender. It wasn’t easy to let them go (I had the best intentions of using them someday!), but it had to be done.

Same thing with my clothes. I had old things in my drawers and no rooms for the clothes I actually wore. I ruthlessly culled it at one point and now I have space. It’s much easier to work with now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As far as organization goes, when you go to tidy up, is there an appropriate and accessible place to put everything?

If there is, you’re already organized. You can play at the margins to make things easier (like a basket for shoes instead of cubbies) but basically, you’re there.

So at that point it’s just about setting up routines for everyone to tidy and clean.

If, when you go to tidy, you find that the spaces where things go are already full (eg you pick up the jar of cinnamon on the counter and open the spice drawer, but you can’t jam it in there) or you have a big pile of things without an appropriate home (eg you pick up a tennis racket and end up putting it on top of a pile of other stuff in the garage), then you have a clutter/organization problem.

NP here. The issue in our house is, if I am the only person who puts things away, and all the kids and the spouse can't be bothered, it is very hard for one person to keep up with all those messy people who don't notice, care, etc. that things are out of place. It can be exhausting and discouraging, after years of them not putting stuff back where it so obviously belongs.

You can’t parent your spouse. You can’t. But you CAN and SHOULD parent your kids. They need to stop what they’re doing at the appointed time and everyone puts things away until it’s done. A lot of families use housecleaner appointments as motivation to tidy.

I know not everyone can afford a house cleaner, but the only messy room in my house is DC’s bedroom. I mostly just keep the door closed, but he knows that he has to pick up his room before the housekeeper comes, so it at least gets clean every two weeks.

But, seriously — we got very organized when we moved because we were ruthless about not moving stuff we didn’t need. I lost track of how many trips we made to Goodwill. We then moved into a bigger house with more storage, and it was so wonderful, that I got committed to not accumulating too much stuff. If I buy new clothes, I get rid of some old stuff. It doesn’t matter if it’s “good” — if I don’t wear it regularly, it goes. I actually have empty cabinets in my house.

Not only do you need a place for everything, it has to be easy and convenient. If you have to move something to put something away, it won’t happen. If you have to take something to a room that is different from where you usually use something, it isn’t going to happen. My DH always has a little collection of business cards, small parts of things, etc that he is using and wants to keep handy in the kitchen. So he has a nice porcelain bowl with a cover where he keeps those things. Junk mail goes straight into a shredder in the kitchen closet and bills go on his or my desk, which are in a room adjacent to the kitchen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As far as organization goes, when you go to tidy up, is there an appropriate and accessible place to put everything?

If there is, you’re already organized. You can play at the margins to make things easier (like a basket for shoes instead of cubbies) but basically, you’re there.

So at that point it’s just about setting up routines for everyone to tidy and clean.

If, when you go to tidy, you find that the spaces where things go are already full (eg you pick up the jar of cinnamon on the counter and open the spice drawer, but you can’t jam it in there) or you have a big pile of things without an appropriate home (eg you pick up a tennis racket and end up putting it on top of a pile of other stuff in the garage), then you have a clutter/organization problem.

NP here. The issue in our house is, if I am the only person who puts things away, and all the kids and the spouse can't be bothered, it is very hard for one person to keep up with all those messy people who don't notice, care, etc. that things are out of place. It can be exhausting and discouraging, after years of them not putting stuff back where it so obviously belongs.

Combine this with a spouse who did not grow up with a garage, so does not understand the use of a garage, along with a spouse that grew up with clutter and covered surfaces everywhere, and it is a recipe for a big mess.

What does this mean?

Enjoy young kids and messy home, in a blink of an eye, you'll be an empty nester.

To keep house organized, use labels and baskets everywhere so its easier for everyone to toss things where they belong.

Dedicate 10-30 minutes of each day to go around the house and move things where they should be. Make it a 10 min post dinner family game so nobody is sitting right after the meal so good for health.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As far as organization goes, when you go to tidy up, is there an appropriate and accessible place to put everything?

If there is, you’re already organized. You can play at the margins to make things easier (like a basket for shoes instead of cubbies) but basically, you’re there.

So at that point it’s just about setting up routines for everyone to tidy and clean.

If, when you go to tidy, you find that the spaces where things go are already full (eg you pick up the jar of cinnamon on the counter and open the spice drawer, but you can’t jam it in there) or you have a big pile of things without an appropriate home (eg you pick up a tennis racket and end up putting it on top of a pile of other stuff in the garage), then you have a clutter/organization problem.

NP here. The issue in our house is, if I am the only person who puts things away, and all the kids and the spouse can't be bothered, it is very hard for one person to keep up with all those messy people who don't notice, care, etc. that things are out of place. It can be exhausting and discouraging, after years of them not putting stuff back where it so obviously belongs.

You can’t parent your spouse. You can’t. But you CAN and SHOULD parent your kids. They need to stop what they’re doing at the appointed time and everyone puts things away until it’s done. A lot of families use housecleaner appointments as motivation to tidy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As far as organization goes, when you go to tidy up, is there an appropriate and accessible place to put everything?

If there is, you’re already organized. You can play at the margins to make things easier (like a basket for shoes instead of cubbies) but basically, you’re there.

So at that point it’s just about setting up routines for everyone to tidy and clean.

If, when you go to tidy, you find that the spaces where things go are already full (eg you pick up the jar of cinnamon on the counter and open the spice drawer, but you can’t jam it in there) or you have a big pile of things without an appropriate home (eg you pick up a tennis racket and end up putting it on top of a pile of other stuff in the garage), then you have a clutter/organization problem.

NP here. The issue in our house is, if I am the only person who puts things away, and all the kids and the spouse can't be bothered, it is very hard for one person to keep up with all those messy people who don't notice, care, etc. that things are out of place. It can be exhausting and discouraging, after years of them not putting stuff back where it so obviously belongs.

Sometimes I make piles for them of their stuff that they left around that they have to deal with. Your spouse is one thing but the kids you can deal with with screen time and other things that they want to do - they need to pick up their stuff first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As far as organization goes, when you go to tidy up, is there an appropriate and accessible place to put everything?

If there is, you’re already organized. You can play at the margins to make things easier (like a basket for shoes instead of cubbies) but basically, you’re there.

So at that point it’s just about setting up routines for everyone to tidy and clean.

If, when you go to tidy, you find that the spaces where things go are already full (eg you pick up the jar of cinnamon on the counter and open the spice drawer, but you can’t jam it in there) or you have a big pile of things without an appropriate home (eg you pick up a tennis racket and end up putting it on top of a pile of other stuff in the garage), then you have a clutter/organization problem.

NP here. The issue in our house is, if I am the only person who puts things away, and all the kids and the spouse can't be bothered, it is very hard for one person to keep up with all those messy people who don't notice, care, etc. that things are out of place. It can be exhausting and discouraging, after years of them not putting stuff back where it so obviously belongs.

Combine this with a spouse who did not grow up with a garage, so does not understand the use of a garage, along with a spouse that grew up with clutter and covered surfaces everywhere, and it is a recipe for a big mess.