Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:54
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.
Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.
It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.
Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment.
Bullshit. They also need space to have friends over. A community. A home they feel proud of instead of their current shithole we have outgrown.
You clearly deeply love your kids. Those would be nice things to be able to give them. They need your love and presence in their life more than any of those things, though.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:52
Subject: Re:Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:I'm a second-time buyer and I am depressed too. Current home is a condo, has not appreciated much but everything else has, and our equity will not make up the gap.
We thought we were being practical buying a condo as first-time buyers because it was well within our budget and close in, which has saved us a lot of money on commuting over the years. And we have saved the difference in what we might have paid for a house if that's what we'd bought. But neither our appreciation nor our savings (nor our incomes) can keep up with the appreciation in houses over the last 7/8 years.
We either have to accept that we're raising kids in a small condo with bad IB schools, or make the big jump to a lower COL area. I guess it's better to have these two options than no options, but it's still disappointing. Especially when peers who only spent maybe 50-80k more (back when borrowing money was cheaper than it is now) are sitting on way more appreciation and have way more options. Our mistake was underbuying and being overly conservative about debt. It's a tough thing to reconcile.
Pretty similar here. I have lots saved up, and despite my current property not appreciating much, I have paid off most of the mortgage. Strongly considering overbuying this time around. My career is stable, and at least I'll hopefully get something I like. It seems like stretching to afford the place you want is frowned upon on this board, but people who have done it in the past are now way ahead of me.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:45
Subject: Re:Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:I'm a second-time buyer and I am depressed too. Current home is a condo, has not appreciated much but everything else has, and our equity will not make up the gap.
We thought we were being practical buying a condo as first-time buyers because it was well within our budget and close in, which has saved us a lot of money on commuting over the years. And we have saved the difference in what we might have paid for a house if that's what we'd bought. But neither our appreciation nor our savings (nor our incomes) can keep up with the appreciation in houses over the last 7/8 years.
We either have to accept that we're raising kids in a small condo with bad IB schools, or make the big jump to a lower COL area. I guess it's better to have these two options than no options, but it's still disappointing. Especially when peers who only spent maybe 50-80k more (back when borrowing money was cheaper than it is now) are sitting on way more appreciation and have way more options. Our mistake was underbuying and being overly conservative about debt. It's a tough thing to reconcile.
Don’t beat yourself up pp. Hindsight is 20/20. If you’d overbought and then you or spouse lost your job or experienced some financial crisis you’d have major regrets then too.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:40
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel any better, I own 11 houses in NW DC. I stretched to buy all of them. Now all are up 50-60% in equity and I refinanced down rates in the low 3’s. Just buy the house you can afford now- stop hand wringing and feeling sorry for yourself.
What kind of monster are you? How is what you did, which is obviously impossible to repeat now, in any way helpful to OP at this time?
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:32
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
If it makes you feel any better, I own 11 houses in NW DC. I stretched to buy all of them. Now all are up 50-60% in equity and I refinanced down rates in the low 3’s. Just buy the house you can afford now- stop hand wringing and feeling sorry for yourself.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:26
Subject: Re:Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Houses I could have stretched to buy at 1.2M 1-3 years ago are now at 1.7M. With current rates and can't afford today's 1.2M, which is orders of magnitude less nice what what I didn't stretch to buy 1-2 years ago. I am miserable.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:21
Subject: Re:Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
I'm a second-time buyer and I am depressed too. Current home is a condo, has not appreciated much but everything else has, and our equity will not make up the gap.
We thought we were being practical buying a condo as first-time buyers because it was well within our budget and close in, which has saved us a lot of money on commuting over the years. And we have saved the difference in what we might have paid for a house if that's what we'd bought. But neither our appreciation nor our savings (nor our incomes) can keep up with the appreciation in houses over the last 7/8 years.
We either have to accept that we're raising kids in a small condo with bad IB schools, or make the big jump to a lower COL area. I guess it's better to have these two options than no options, but it's still disappointing. Especially when peers who only spent maybe 50-80k more (back when borrowing money was cheaper than it is now) are sitting on way more appreciation and have way more options. Our mistake was underbuying and being overly conservative about debt. It's a tough thing to reconcile.
We thought we were being practical buying a condo as first-time buyers because it was well within our budget and close in, which has saved us a lot of money on commuting over the years. And we have saved the difference in what we might have paid for a house if that's what we'd bought. But neither our appreciation nor our savings (nor our incomes) can keep up with the appreciation in houses over the last 7/8 years.
We either have to accept that we're raising kids in a small condo with bad IB schools, or make the big jump to a lower COL area. I guess it's better to have these two options than no options, but it's still disappointing. Especially when peers who only spent maybe 50-80k more (back when borrowing money was cheaper than it is now) are sitting on way more appreciation and have way more options. Our mistake was underbuying and being overly conservative about debt. It's a tough thing to reconcile.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:14
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.
Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.
It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.
Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment.
Bullshit. They also need space to have friends over. A community. A home they feel proud of instead of their current shithole we have outgrown.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:13
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, the most constructive thing you can do now is adjusting your expectations and expanding h your search scope to get a house you can afford as soon as possible. Otherwise you will always miss the boat and feel worse and worse looking back.
I know you're right. There is nowhere I can afford that I have any desire to buy or live. But I know that in a couple of years event eh places I don't want to live will be unaffordable.
What is your plan now? Buy somewhere you don't really want to?
I guess. But I won't be happy.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:11
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.
Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.
It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.
If they have a roof over their heads now, then you're doing fine.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:09
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, the most constructive thing you can do now is adjusting your expectations and expanding h your search scope to get a house you can afford as soon as possible. Otherwise you will always miss the boat and feel worse and worse looking back.
I know you're right. There is nowhere I can afford that I have any desire to buy or live. But I know that in a couple of years event eh places I don't want to live will be unaffordable.
What is your plan now? Buy somewhere you don't really want to?
Anonymous
06/15/2023 22:08
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.
Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.
It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.
Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 21:50
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:Op, the most constructive thing you can do now is adjusting your expectations and expanding h your search scope to get a house you can afford as soon as possible. Otherwise you will always miss the boat and feel worse and worse looking back.
I know you're right. There is nowhere I can afford that I have any desire to buy or live. But I know that in a couple of years event eh places I don't want to live will be unaffordable.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 21:49
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
We are in a similar situation and really sad about it - though definitely not suicidal about it. I've always lived below my means. Now I so regret not stretching for places that were priced somewhat higher than the numbers I had in mind but that we really could have afforded. Now we are looking at paying even more for houses not nearly as nice.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 21:49
Subject: Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.
Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.
It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.