Anonymous wrote:Destination bat mitzvah with close family. Pizza party upon return with friends.

Do you bring the rabbi with you??

Pinstripes has a party room where they set up food, then you go bowl elsewhere in the venue.

Anonymous wrote:Lower key seems to be the way post-covid. Kiddush after services, and kid-only slightly fancier birthday party later.

Reviving this not-too-old thread as we have to do some planning too, and like OP, don't want mini-wedding. Probably will have 30-40 family guests and maybe 15-20 kid friends. Kid is fairly outgoing and would definitely go with more friends versus fewer.

We'd like something fairly modest, but one question I have is whether the friends who attend (likely to be a mix of Jewish and non-Jewish friends, if that matters) would be annoyed by basically having to devote a whole day or weekend to this event, with their parents shuttling them. What I mean is, if you do Saturday morning services followed by kiddush - and our shul does a fairly food-heavy kiddush, so it's a light meal - and then you want to do the fancier birthday party thing at bowling or laser tag or the like, is that super annoying for the kid attendees' parents, to have to drop them off and pick them up at synagogue, and then a few hours later or the next morning bring them out to the party event?

Lower key seems to be the way post-covid. Kiddush after services, and kid-only slightly fancier birthday party later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was like 350 people at one I attended. Had a red carpet to walk, a celeb did a custom video introduction, goodie bags like Oscar’s, photo booths, custom sweat shirts, live band, DJ, gourmet food. Cost like $300 a hard.

But they were getting $500 to $5,000 a couple. $500 on very low end mostly higher

Is this in reference to the gifts the bat mitzvah child received?

Yep. I gave $1,000 on the low end. Easily $350-$450k in gifts.

My HS kids paid for college plus downpayment on a condo post graduation with the money. I am old but I recall in 1975 a kid in HS got $40k in cash at his party. Dad put it in bonds and 1988 he bought a condo in Manhattan with money. Interest rates were crazy high 1975 to 1988. Today more like $300k he would have got

Oh, stop. You know this isn’t true, unless you live among extremely wealthy people (which maybe you do). Most Jewish kids aren’t paying for college plus down payment on a condo with the money they got for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah or getting $300K. We’re solidly upper middle class and had 170 guests and my kid got about $2,500 in cash/checks and a bunch of giftcards (mostly from Amazon).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few we have been invited to recently. This is for a mix of kids in public school and private school who live in NW DC or close in MD
Sat service with lunch / desserts
Sun party with friends at pinstripes

Was looking at Bowlero in Tysons. Anyone been to a party there? That's the kind of thing I think we'd like but I don't quite get how you organize things (bowling, and a slideshow, and speeches...does it come together well?)

Bowlero has 10 lanes off the the side that make a great private party area, but you couldn’t do speeches or slideshow. It’s way too dark, loud and only semi private. And there are hi top tables but it would be awkward. Depending on your budget, I’d do lunch in a private room in the galleria somewhere (Maggianos probably), do the speeches and slides there, then invite people downstairs for bowling and dessert. But I’m not Jewish so I don’t know if that would be in the realm of normal.

Very normal. This is a great suggestion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few we have been invited to recently. This is for a mix of kids in public school and private school who live in NW DC or close in MD
Sat service with lunch / desserts
Sun party with friends at pinstripes

Was looking at Bowlero in Tysons. Anyone been to a party there? That's the kind of thing I think we'd like but I don't quite get how you organize things (bowling, and a slideshow, and speeches...does it come together well?)

Bowlero has 10 lanes off the the side that make a great private party area, but you couldn’t do speeches or slideshow. It’s way too dark, loud and only semi private. And there are hi top tables but it would be awkward. Depending on your budget, I’d do lunch in a private room in the galleria somewhere (Maggianos probably), do the speeches and slides there, then invite people downstairs for bowling and dessert. But I’m not Jewish so I don’t know if that would be in the realm of normal.

Your party doesn't need to be a mini wedding. The ones we've gone to have been semi-casual, like polos for men and dark jeans and a blouse for women. Saturday night buffet dinner and dessert. We've also gone to Sunday brunch parties. Either with games or with a DJ (or both). It's like throwing your kid a slightly nicer than normal birthday party. Rent an arcade or go to a bowling alley or whatever your kid is into.

Anonymous wrote:Non Jews need the most information. What time does the service end? We drop them off for the service, and now what? I told DD to call me. That was not the right thing to do.

She shouldn't use her phone inside the temple, but outside the building is fine. You can call the temple (not on Shabbat) and ask what time Saturday morning services end so you'll know when to pick up your kid.