Yes. I would not ask for trouble by doing that.

Anonymous wrote:Invest in a more diverse wardrobe.

Brilliant answer.

I'm not gay but have a few items with rainbows on it. I wear em and DGAF.

My husband has a shirt with a rainbow on it that he got for free from an event, and wears it around the house. He answered the door one time to a d2d sales person and the guy was SO AWKWARD about it. He was like "Oh so uh, you support those people...? Thats cool, thats cool..." Like its a god damn rainbow, not a picture of two guys doing it. Wear your rainbows!

I live in Savannah and work weekly in rural GA and the Carolinas. Shoes wouldn’t draw comments, shirts will. Hopefully your own family isn’t the culprit.

I’m from the south and in rural areas it’s a bit risky, but major cities or college towns will be fine.

Rainbows themselves are not a problem. There are many southern types who like rainbows and bright colors. My spouse (not from the spouse) loves rainbows and in most situations is very, very supportive, but they hate that the LGBTQ+ movement has coopted rainbows.

I personally would say anything that does not explicitly say pride is fine. Her shoes and bracelet are fine and shirts with rainbows (but not words/slogans) are fine.

And I would talk to her and let her know that you don't know this extended family and don't know if anyone might say anything hurtful, so she might want to wait a day or two and take the temperature of the extended family before she says anything that might be criticized. But I would also let her know that I would completely support her and if she did say something and got a hurtful response, that you would be there to support and defend her. And I would live up to that. Don't make waves, but don't let anyone walk over you either.

It is going to vary a lot depending on the people. I got into a very uncomfortable discussion about rainbow shirts in Greenville SC with some parents at our elementary school who were mad that rainbows had been appropriated by the LGBT+ community. They said that now their daughters risked being judged for wearing a rainbow shirt, and what kind of rainbow was I wearing. I didn’t make myself popular by suggesting that the main issue seemed to be people thinking less of those wearing LGBT+ rainbows.

I wonder if this is a time to have the conversation about levels of disclosure with strength of relationships. Not everyone deserves to be trusted with everything about you until you know them better and have established matching levels of trust/ intimacy.

I recognize this is contrary to the idea of being loud and proud. But 13 is a tough age and an extended unknown family gathering in the south is a tough venue. My child often chooses shoes and bracelets as a more understated option.

I test the waters by wearing a pride/ ally shirt. Then from reactions my child can decide how to engage. It usually results in the like-minded people finding us at extended family reunions.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, southerns are, by and large, the most polite people with the best manners.

They may talk about your DD when they get home, but in public, it will nothing but pleasantries and manners.

You're more likely to get a snide comment from the blue collar corridor in the Northeast.

I'd be less inclined to send her to Philly or Boston, than to the south

Ugh. I grew up in Texas and left 30 years ago for DC. I *hate* the "polite" people who smile at you and then talk about you going to hell when you're not listening. Give me Philly or Boston and honesty any day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, southerns are, by and large, the most polite people with the best manners.

They may talk about your DD when they get home, but in public, it will nothing but pleasantries and manners.

You're more likely to get a snide comment from the blue collar corridor in the Northeast.

I'd be less inclined to send her to Philly or Boston, than to the south

That’s complete nonsense.

I grew up blue collar northeast and this is not nonsense. The most racist, bigoted people I know are from my hometown in NY. And I lived in Texas for almost two decades.

What part of NY is that????

Anonymous wrote:I only know that my gay and lesbian friends in the rural south don't wear rainbow or pride clothing on a regular basis.

Same. They don't fear wearing it but they are just not into it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, southerns are, by and large, the most polite people with the best manners.

They may talk about your DD when they get home, but in public, it will nothing but pleasantries and manners.

You're more likely to get a snide comment from the blue collar corridor in the Northeast.

I'd be less inclined to send her to Philly or Boston, than to the south

That’s complete nonsense.

I grew up blue collar northeast and this is not nonsense. The most racist, bigoted people I know are from my hometown in NY. And I lived in Texas for almost two decades.

Also from rural ny. Still confederate flags flying there. Very strange obsession with the old south

Sometimes a rainbow is just a rainbow

As someone who grew up in NC, I think it's pretty similar to here. Think about how people in rural maryland with their Trump flags flying might react. Same in the south. That said, I wear what I want and if other people are bigoted a-holes, that's their problem.

In Charlotte it's fine. We have a really BIG annual festival and parade here. All in attendance are not even openly LGBTQ; some are allies and go for support and still wear the rainbow colors.

It's sponsored by big companies including the local banks - PNC, TD Bank, Wells, Fifth Third... and Amazon, EY, Lowes, Walmart, etc.

https://charlottepride.org/pride23/

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, southerns are, by and large, the most polite people with the best manners.

They may talk about your DD when they get home, but in public, it will nothing but pleasantries and manners.

You're more likely to get a snide comment from the blue collar corridor in the Northeast.

I'd be less inclined to send her to Philly or Boston, than to the south

+1