Anonymous wrote:They don’t develop it after the spouse dies, it was already there when the spouse was alive and they could help them compensate. The stress of losing their spouse can certainly worsen it.

This.

The spouse was compensating and other family members were in denial.

I was my parents' caregivers (plus some paid caregivers) when they had dementia. My siblings disagreed when I kept saying how bad their dementia was. I got sick and could not care for them for eight weeks. Everything fell apart. My siblings had to step up and within about a week they had amped up the caregivers to 24-7 care, which they had refused to agree to before. To this day, rather than acknowledging that I was running myself ragged caring for them, my siblings marvel at "how quickly" mom and dad went downhill. "a matter of weeks!" Um, no.

My dad died when I was in my 40s and the grief made me experience memory issues. I became confused quite easily.

After a while, this resolved.

If someone is a lot older, they may not be able to heal their brain after the shock.

Some think the brain suffers from inflammation due to our lifestyles. You can read about the topic in the medical literature.

The spouse covered for them.

^^Also it's not a facility, it's a community of condos and villas, it's a place people live but not a place people can get care unless they hire someone to come into their home.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds nice. Where is your facility?

It's in Florida and there are many here but they are also pretty much everywhere including in the DC area.