Anonymous wrote:I don't really try to "justify" it. I can afford it, and I want to do it, so I do it (I'm not at the plastic surgeon every week or anything, but I get Botox and highlights and semi-regular mani-pedis and I spend a decent amount at Sephora). I do think there are some marginal benefits to my career to looking more polished/put together but that's not why I do it.

I just feel like, I have one life, I may as well look the way I want to look.

There is scientific research that shows women who spend more time on 'grooming' are paid better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not go out with friends? Do you attend any school activities or kid extracurricular activities with other parents?

If she’s talking about Botox and other minor procedures these aren’t necessary to go out with friends or school activities.

They aren't necessary at all! But I don't think it's about whether you have the kind of life that objectively merits Botox, or not...it's your life, you can decide how you want to look.

I don't really try to "justify" it. I can afford it, and I want to do it, so I do it (I'm not at the plastic surgeon every week or anything, but I get Botox and highlights and semi-regular mani-pedis and I spend a decent amount at Sephora). I do think there are some marginal benefits to my career to looking more polished/put together but that's not why I do it.

I just feel like, I have one life, I may as well look the way I want to look.

I don’t feel the need to spend $$$$ in order to pretend I’m not aging. I’m 50 and look 50. I’m ok with that. I eat well, am fit, healthy, and happy. My hair is strawberry blonde, so no sign of grey. I use tretinoin, good skin care products, and religiously apply SPF. I my curly hair cut 3x per year. Eyebrow cleanups are my biggest “indulgence” every 3 weeks at $25 a pop.

If I were freaked out about a few lines, I guess I’d do something and feel differently. But I’m not. I’m only one of a few friends and siblings that has not “had work done”. It’s weird. It’s just really, really weird these days the way women are expected to look younger, etc. I hate it, honestly, but don’t judge others for doing what makes them feel good if no one is getting harmed in the process.

If money is not an issue and you’d like to explore options, perhaps get a consultation and see how it feels from there. Or don’t.

Anonymous wrote:Do you not go out with friends? Do you attend any school activities or kid extracurricular activities with other parents?

If she’s talking about Botox and other minor procedures these aren’t necessary to go out with friends or school activities.

Meh. I do it for me, not really others.

I get light botox 4x/year.
I cut and color my hair when I feel like it, which is very rare (my hair is straight and blond-ish and long and I like it that way).

If you can afford it, do it if you want it.

I do try to minimize products. No sense in paying 100 for shampoo and conditioner unless it's doing something amazing.

I like using YNAB. I pick my priorities and fund those.

I haven’t yet been able to make Botox my priority for funding yet but I am theoretically interested. If it’s your priority - that’s fine!

Its a slippery slope.

Anonymous wrote:This is an actual question, not a judgment! I generally look kind of blah, but considering my life mostly consists of working from home, running errands, and family time at home, I have a hard time justifying things like botox or lash lifts that would make me look better. We have the money, but I just wonder what the point is. I'm not a social butterfly and only have formal events 1-2x a year at most. Anyone else feel like this? How do you decide if it's worth it?

Imho no more than 5% of your annual income should go towards your personal dressing, grooming and enhancing. Your mileage may vary.

I don’t really “justify” it anymore than I justify eating a plate of bolognase or a trip to Spain. I haven’t had Botox and have never had a lash lift, but I have had upper and lower bleph and a lower face and next lift (to remove deep smile lines and get rid of that hideous skin that hung from below my chin), and I had a breast lift after nursing babies. Why? Because I wanted to and I’m not ready to throw in the towel. I’m 47.

You should set a budget rather than deciding based on “justification.” That’s not a good reason to spend or not spend.