I’ll be 49 soon and am very likely beginning an estrogen patch and oral progesterone and I can’t wait: I was so certain that because I don’t have hot flashes, and my periods were largely very regular despite having atypical PCOS (I am slim and not diabetic, I haven’t taken anything for it in years, but my free testosterone, ovaries and hirsutism show the impact), that no gyn would consider my other symptoms (insomnia, joint pain, mood swings, vasomotor issues with dizziness, hair and skin changes) as something I could remedy.

I know I felt that way because basically women ARE still told to suck it up and deal. It’s deep in the culture. It’s the mindset of most men I know, including friends, who definitely see an “age defying” 49 year old as hot but one who struggles as a loser, a grandma, nonexistent. I still know plenty of women around 45 who believe HRT gives everyone cancer, and I know plenty of Cool Girls my age and older who think because they’re slim and can run a race or do goblet squats, that perimenopause is for lazy women who just “let themselves go.” Who attribute physical changes of hormonal fluctuation to the bad women who don’t woman well enough. It’s a shittacular message and it comes from multiple directions in this year of our lord 2023, and it’s smug, misogynistic, deliberate, and maddening. I’m also frustrated by the whole commerce that’s developed around peri and meno because I think there’s a risk that some women will think it’s somehow “better” or “more natural” or certainly sexier and cooler to get supplements from Goop for 1k/yr instead of seeing a good gyn and talking about prescription hormonal meds. But that’s me.

Other things for those interested to reference:

- Susan Dominus’s NYT article from Feb 2023 titled “Women Have Been Misled About Menopause”
- Dr Lauren Streicher’s podcast
- Dr Jen Gunter’s whole body of work

Good luck to us all. We deserve to feel ok, and for this portion of life, which could literally be half of our lives, not be treated as a joke.

Just wanted to mention the practice/nurse i saw for HRT

https://www.joinmidi.com/team/jennifer-lanoff

My primary care wasn’t really up on what to give me and i feel SO much better now. No more waking up with a drenched bed or worrying constantly where the closest bathroom is every place i go

I found it difficult to find someone to prescribe hormones.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of lower-risk HRT options. I'm on:

1. progesterone capsules
2. estrogen suppository for dryness
3. estrogen patch (much less risky than pill according to my doctor)
4. testosterone cream

To answer your question, OP, yes, in your shoes I'd be banging down the doctor's door. Women are socialized to suffer and the medical profession as a whole has ignored us for far too long, but thankfully that's changing.

Two books you might consider reading are The Menopause Manifesto and Hot and Bothered.

Keep in mind that there's more than one type of HRT and you should find a doctor who's willing to test your hormones, listen to your symptoms, and prescribe as appropriate.

What is the testosterone cream for?

Libido/sex drive, which typically plummets during menopause.

Also fatigue. I was showing "0" testosterone in my body. The fatigue was horrible. Women are supposed to have a bit of testosterone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’ve been dealing with perimenopause for almost a decade (I’m 48). Symptoms come and go — dryness, hot flash/night sweats, sleep trouble, mood changes etc. How bad does it have to be to take HRT? Its just occurring to me that, as women, we are conditioned to put up with a lot (PMS, childbirth pain, menopause discomfort) and not complain. Should I ask to try it?

Go to youtube and listen to the videos of Dr. Susan Harwick Smith. She's a post menopausal MD who teats menopause. She makes so much sense and explains things so well. She goes into detail and makes suggestions that I would not have thought of. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL6-hAGxPhk

treats not teats!

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I’ve been dealing with perimenopause for almost a decade (I’m 48). Symptoms come and go — dryness, hot flash/night sweats, sleep trouble, mood changes etc. How bad does it have to be to take HRT? Its just occurring to me that, as women, we are conditioned to put up with a lot (PMS, childbirth pain, menopause discomfort) and not complain. Should I ask to try it?

Go to youtube and listen to the videos of Dr. Susan Harwick Smith. She's a post menopausal MD who teats menopause. She makes so much sense and explains things so well. She goes into detail and makes suggestions that I would not have thought of. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL6-hAGxPhk

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of lower-risk HRT options. I'm on:

1. progesterone capsules
2. estrogen suppository for dryness
3. estrogen patch (much less risky than pill according to my doctor)
4. testosterone cream

To answer your question, OP, yes, in your shoes I'd be banging down the doctor's door. Women are socialized to suffer and the medical profession as a whole has ignored us for far too long, but thankfully that's changing.

Two books you might consider reading are The Menopause Manifesto and Hot and Bothered.

Keep in mind that there's more than one type of HRT and you should find a doctor who's willing to test your hormones, listen to your symptoms, and prescribe as appropriate.

53. I am on progesterone only birth control pills which were a god-send for crime scene periods and night flushes/poor sleep. Zero increased risk of blood clots/stroke because no estrogen in them.

Femring

I just started HRT again and am so glad I did. I tried it in 2020 when I was having 3 hot flashes an hour (not kidding), but stopped because of heavy bleeding. The initial hot flashes disappeared, but have returned every few months in waves over the past three years. I figured I would just ride it out, but recently they go so bad that I decided to try HRT again. No side effects this time, it's been three days and already I'm sleeping better, fewer hot flashes, mood stabilized. Go make that appointment!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of lower-risk HRT options. I'm on:

1. progesterone capsules
2. estrogen suppository for dryness
3. estrogen patch (much less risky than pill according to my doctor)
4. testosterone cream

To answer your question, OP, yes, in your shoes I'd be banging down the doctor's door. Women are socialized to suffer and the medical profession as a whole has ignored us for far too long, but thankfully that's changing.

Two books you might consider reading are The Menopause Manifesto and Hot and Bothered.

Keep in mind that there's more than one type of HRT and you should find a doctor who's willing to test your hormones, listen to your symptoms, and prescribe as appropriate.

What is the testosterone cream for?

Libido/sex drive, which typically plummets during menopause.

^ thanks for post. My Gyn is saying no due to bc family history yet my sister has been on HRT for years. I need a new Gyn.

I’m 61 and didn’t do this and I’m suffering for it. Why it was never offered or suggested is appalling. I asked and was told no bc of cancer risks—this by female gyns and internist. Such ignorance.

I have put on 40 lbs (in a year), have belly fat, weigh more than I ever have, am tired, terrible mood swings (low), low stress tolerance, hot flashes etc. Went

to gyn last week and start bio-identical hormones next week. It’s a terrible shame that I suffered this way. I pray I get some relief. Doctor tried to put me on an ssri and my instincts told me that this is hormonal. If you’re perimenopausal get help and save yourself.

Anonymous wrote:Which kind of doctor do you see? GP? Gym? Endo?

GYN

Which kind of doctor do you see? GP? Gym? Endo?

I think HRT is optional unless you have early menopause. I had early menopause and was put on HRT immediately. I don’t have a family history of breast cancer.

That said, omg so happy I went on it. Why suffer? If men went through it, you better believe there would be multiple options for treatment and studied to death. I would also read Stacy Sims book if you are active. I totally wish I had when I first went through it. It would have saved me so many tears.