Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 21:02     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Um, that’s actually illegal. Look at the ECPA. There is no exception for people who pay the cell phone bill.

You however are well within your rights to not pay for your child’s cell phone bill.


Seems ok if all phones on her account (not simply paying). Not that I recommend reading the texts.


It's not legal even if it's on the same account.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 20:53     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
Why?
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 20:53     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
Anonymous wrote:I had a mom who did this, and I was exhibiting no suspicious behavior. She also read my journal growing up and would bring up stuff in it like a boy I liked or when I expressed frustration with a friend or a class. Not surprising that we were not close AT ALL and I never went to her for actual problems. I'm 37 now and we have a strained relationship.


Your mom was wrong to do that.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 20:44     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
Anonymous wrote:Um, that’s actually illegal. Look at the ECPA. There is no exception for people who pay the cell phone bill.

You however are well within your rights to not pay for your child’s cell phone bill.


Seems ok if all phones on her account (not simply paying). Not that I recommend reading the texts.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 17:03     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
No, of course not. The only thing I have a right to do is see grades, and pull financial support if the grades are not up to par.

But by all means, keep up the psycho, controlling behavior. You will reap the distant relationship you sow.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 17:00     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
Anonymous wrote:And also search their car & bedroom?
why are you suspicious? We have never done any of that, nor have we even been tempted.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 16:48     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
No because I do not think the young adult in our family is mentally unstable or in danger.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 10:21     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
No!
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 10:17     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
I had a mom who did this, and I was exhibiting no suspicious behavior. She also read my journal growing up and would bring up stuff in it like a boy I liked or when I expressed frustration with a friend or a class. Not surprising that we were not close AT ALL and I never went to her for actual problems. I'm 37 now and we have a strained relationship.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 09:42     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
Only reasons I can think of are danger of suicide or homicide or similar, then all bets are off and you do whatever is needed to save them.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2023 09:36     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
Anonymous wrote:And also search their car & bedroom?


No, no and no. You can stop paying if you want but unless they agree, you can't control them with your wallet. That's unfair invasion of privacy of another adult. Would you want to share yours with your parents or employer or bank?
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2023 20:11     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
If you infantilize your adult child like that the results will likely be that they meet your expectations and continue to be your baby for many years to come, or they will refuse to have a relationship with you at all.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2023 20:09     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
That is super extreme, OP. Is your child in crisis? If you are at the level where you feel the need to violate their privacy like that, maybe it’s time to get a professional involved.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2023 20:07     Subject: Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
Simply bc you pay the bills? No. If you have a legitimate concern about a child with depression/anxiety/special needs/addiction issues… mayyybe.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2023 19:48     Subject: Re:Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
I would have to think they'd committed or were about to commit murder or suicide to do it. By the time they get to college, they know how to conduct themselves.