Anonymous wrote:How is it full circle when you're still a loser?

100% this, basically.

I liked your story up until the last part about Christy. Honestly, with all the success and life-changing events, the portion about running into Christy could have and should have been left out. You've had too many wins to still care about that.

Anonymous wrote:How is it full circle when you're still a loser?

DP
Why is OP a loser? Sounds normal to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Four years ago was probably the lowest point of my life: I was getting divorced (and it was contentious), was midway through a demanding graduate program, despite working two jobs was flat broke, and generally felt intense pressure all around, with no relief in sight.

One of my jobs was working in a coffee shop, where my coworkers were all at least a decade younger than I was. I felt like a loser and an outsider and wasn’t treated very nicely, in particular by one barista we’ll call Christy. I believe she got me fired from that job, which I really needed.

Well, in the years since, I have completed my graduate program, started a great new career, gotten remarried, bought a house, and had a baby (I am currently on maternity leave). This morning I was walking with my baby and decided to pop in to a new coffee shop in my neighborhood. Guess who’s still pouring coffee? Christy.

What are your full-circle moments?

Working at a coffee shop is morally neutral. Thinking you're better than her because you do something "better" and she still pours coffee? Morally shitty. You lose, OP.

Yup. I completely agree.

I spent over a decade working at a law firm and being treated terribly by a group of bullies (partners and some associates who were 2-3 years senior to me). Without going into an incredible amount of detail about how they treated me, let’s just say that they pretty openly mocked me and I cried regularly and only stayed as long as I did because I kept having kids and needed the maternity leave benefits and then didn’t want to jump ship right after maternity leave. I also did search for other jobs and didn’t get offers, and I recall being really upset about a couple of jobs I had hoped to get which were huge pay cuts but I thought would be a good fit in my interest area.

One person who I had worked with at the firm
who was in a different office ended up recruiting me to come with him in-house. This person saw how mistreated I was by the firm bullies and defended me and ended his client relationship with the main partner who bullied me. The partner who bullied me lost his shit and basically ruined his reputation by disparaging me so badly that he looked delusional while I sat calmly on the sidelines, saying nothing.

Full circle moment is still happening as my former bullies wish they had me as a client, my salary more than doubled by going in house, I’m treated with respect and value at my new company, I actually work fewer hours than I did at the firm and have more time at home, and I’ve funneled all my outside counsel work to the few people who treated me well while I was at the firm.

OP 4 years is nothing. Wait till the barista ten years your junior marries a Wall Street guy and laughs at your PhD on the way to spin class.

How is it full circle when you're still a loser?

I was just a poor boy from a poor family. I met and married a rich girl who could always rely on her old man’s money, so she never worked. Now many years later, we are divorced, and she’s still a rich girl relying on her old man’s money, and I am again just a poor boy from a poor family, because she took half my assets in the divorce. Cautionary tale.

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landside,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to
Me, to me.

Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all
The time
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, oooh
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango!
Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Figaro - magnificoo
I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go.

Songwriters: Frederick Mercury
Bohemian Rhapsody lyrics © Queen Music Ltd

Anonymous wrote:I also like these stories. And formerly-poor PP, that’s an amazing example of how your own inner qualities and the real kindness of someone else can work wonders. Have you been in touch with the gym teacher since going to college? How is your life now? I’m happy for you.

Nope. I barely ever talked to that gym teacher when I was at school. My life is great now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Four years ago was probably the lowest point of my life: I was getting divorced (and it was contentious), was midway through a demanding graduate program, despite working two jobs was flat broke, and generally felt intense pressure all around, with no relief in sight.

One of my jobs was working in a coffee shop, where my coworkers were all at least a decade younger than I was. I felt like a loser and an outsider and wasn’t treated very nicely, in particular by one barista we’ll call Christy. I believe she got me fired from that job, which I really needed.

Well, in the years since, I have completed my graduate program, started a great new career, gotten remarried, bought a house, and had a baby (I am currently on maternity leave). This morning I was walking with my baby and decided to pop in to a new coffee shop in my neighborhood. Guess who’s still pouring coffee? Christy.

What are your full-circle moments?

The person who got you fired from your coffee shop is YOU op.
This is not full circle, this is just mean.

Hi Christy!

LOL!

I haven't had a full circle moment for this yet but hope I do. I grew up with a horrifically abusive father who was also a pillar of our community. My father was a doctor and we lived in the rural midwest. He was incredibly charming, accomplished and beloved in the community but, at home, it was brutal.

School was my safe place. I LOVED school. It was a sanctuary for me. I was an excellent student and I reveled in the acceptance and positive attention. In hindsight, I have no doubt the teachers knew what was going on at home even though we strove to hide it. In 11th grade, a new drama/speech teacher came who actively disliked me. I have no idea why. It's not that I was looking to him for praise/attention but I wasn't expecting derision and distain. I was really involved in activities at school and, without fail, if he was involved, he made it a point to exclude, minimize, demean, criticize me. Friends even asked me what I had done to pass him off. I had no idea! No matter what I did, this teacher couldn't have made it more clear that he found me lacking and contemptible. It was crushing.

I've overcome childhood but have never forgotten him. I think he believed I was privileged/spoiled and he thought I needed taking down a notch. Nothing could be further from the truth. I had plenty of that at home. I heard he left the school after not getting a promotion he wanted. I've thought about reaching out to him to let him know how much more difficult his active disdain made things for me, but I haven't. Maybe I should. He thought I had it so great....

Anonymous wrote:I've only got half the circle done. I'll get back to you.

Same. The bad half.

Anonymous wrote:Four years ago was probably the lowest point of my life: I was getting divorced (and it was contentious), was midway through a demanding graduate program, despite working two jobs was flat broke, and generally felt intense pressure all around, with no relief in sight.

One of my jobs was working in a coffee shop, where my coworkers were all at least a decade younger than I was. I felt like a loser and an outsider and wasn’t treated very nicely, in particular by one barista we’ll call Christy. I believe she got me fired from that job, which I really needed.

Well, in the years since, I have completed my graduate program, started a great new career, gotten remarried, bought a house, and had a baby (I am currently on maternity leave). This morning I was walking with my baby and decided to pop in to a new coffee shop in my neighborhood. Guess who’s still pouring coffee? Christy.

What are your full-circle moments?

Congratulations on your progress but don’t get too smug. It’s called the wheel of life for a reason and don’t be too sure you’ve come full circle already. This could be just 180 degrees.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if this is exactly a full circle moment, but here is my story.

Several years ago, I decided to put myself out there and start online dating. I was ready to get married and was taking the process seriously. I went on a handful of dates; some nice guys but things weren't really going anywhere. One night, I was scheduled for a date with someone who seemed legitimate: he kept messaging to make sure I was coming, seemed excited for the date, etc. Well, I get to the bar and he's not there. I assumed he was just running late and messaged to see where he was. Time continued to pass and when I checked again, he had unmatched me - I had been stood up! It was so embarrassing sitting at the bar and (at least in my mind) it was obvious to everyone what had happened. I was so upset and angry, I decided I was done with dating/these apps and would delete them all. I deleted one, then logged in to delete the second one I'd downloaded. Something made me scroll through before doing so, and I saw a conversation I'd had a few months back that I'd enjoyed but for whatever reason I had lost track of/not messaged the person back. After debating for a few hours, I messaged the man and he responded immediately. We ended up setting up a date the next week and it was the best first date I've EVER had - we talked for five hours and fast forward, we are getting married this fall. If I had never been stood up, I likely would've never gone back to this conversation or met my fiance!

great story!! congrats

My husband is a POC so we have a lot of 'full circle' moments where social/business associates meet me, do the math/realize we are together and suddenly try to kiss ass/overexplain/virtue-signal/recover the crappy way they treated DH. It never works. He's very forgiving; I'm not.