Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 21:15     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Money, including desire to make more money, how to prioritize spending, how soon to retire and how to save for that.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 21:12     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
AC temperature
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 21:12     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Anonymous wrote:We discussed these both but he lied. Said he would pay my student loans and did not.


Exhibit A for the merit of prenuptial agreements, even among those without significant assets going in.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 21:02     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Mental disorders

Why his dad never worked after age 50

Why his sibling is a failure to launch

Wouldn’t have mattered, he has a meaningless interpretation of everything
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 17:13     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Anonymous wrote:- saving money
- spending money
- using credit cards
- seeing in-laws
- religion
- where to live
- sex drives


These are all good ones. Also, beyond the kids v. no kids, if the answer is kids, there are hundreds of topics to be explored, from discipline, work-life balance, schooling, etc.

Also:

Social needs
Diet/exercise priorities
How free time is spent, hobbies and interests
Vacation style
Pets
Career goals
Lifestyle expectations
How to resolve disagreements
Emotional support and communication expectations



Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 17:12     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Make sure other person is into daily kindness, not just in big gestures.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 17:09     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Ask if person is in debt and how they plan on paying it off with out draining your resources.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 17:09     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
It turned out that DH and I both forgot to discuss extended family emergencies with each other. Like what happens if someone in the family has a baby and then abandons it and we wind up adopting it, not that that happened to us or anything.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 17:06     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Anonymous wrote:We discussed these both but he lied. Said he would pay my student loans and did not.


Why would you expect someone else to pay your loans?
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 15:42     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a doormat married to a type A and I agree with this. I should have married a nice guy with family money.


I mean everyone wants that?!


Yeah well I actually had the option.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 15:04     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
$exual kinks
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 14:30     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Anonymous wrote:I am a doormat married to a type A and I agree with this. I should have married a nice guy with family money.


I mean everyone wants that?!
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 14:29     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Anonymous wrote:In my experience it’s:

-Student loan debt
-Kids v. No kids


For some people it's weird to ask about kids because the grew up in a culture were kids are assumed -- I mean do people discuss if they will have sex or discuss if they will live together -- somethings are just assumed.

I'm sure student loan debt is just "I'll keep paying my loans, they are my problem" without realizing how it can affect joint accounts.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 14:25     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
Debt, management of finances once married, how much is each person contributing to retirement etc credit card use.
How many kids to have (or not).
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2023 14:03     Subject: Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?
General expectations.