Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 07:46     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
Anonymous wrote:If you don’t know about it, consider it gone.

$10 million sounds like a lot of money but it’s easy to lose or spend most of it in a lifetime, even if you’re not wildly irresponsible. Spending more than you earn or long term care for an elderly person and poof.

If there’s a trust that will be relevant to you, you would probably know about it.

When family money changes someone’s young adult life, it’s either inheritance from a grandparent or gifts from a living parent. It’s not so much the prospect of inheritance.


Outside of gambling and speculation, spend >$100K year more than you earn is quit challenging to do secretly.

* Be unemployed
* Somehow avoid earning >$300K/yr in interest
* Have an outrageously expensive yet invisible home

You could maybe pull it off with a bad non-fatal disease and no health insurance.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 07:42     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
Anonymous wrote:I am pretty sure if you were named in some trust, you would know about it or required legally to know about it for tax purposes.


Not until it pays out.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 06:45     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m 25 and I never talk about money with my parents, they live very modest lives and I have no idea what their net worth is, but growing up I knew for a fact my mom came from a wealthy family (both her parents are dead now). I don’t know how much but I think it was in the 10’s of millions in the 80’s. Someone in my family mentioned a generation skipping trust but I only heard that once and never was mentioned again. I feel awkward asking them and don’t want to come across as entitled but am naturally curious, was the money lost, or is it sitting somewhere? I’m making good money for my age and already own a home with no help from family so it’s not that concerning but just very curious. My parents have never had issues with paying bills but they live very modestly living in a tiny condo and don’t seem to spend much. I had 40k in student loans when graduating college as well (paid off on my own). Part of me thinks the money was lost due to mismanagement.


This sounds made up. Depending on how many tens of millions in the 80's, that could well be $1 billion+ today if just invested the S&P. Unlikely that your parents are billionaires and live in a tiny condo and not even a modest SFH. On the other hand, people who live modestly are unlikely to waste or mismanage a huge inheritance. The tens of millions in the 80s was likely a fantasy - your parents probably have a couple million today and are saving it for retirement and end-of-life care.


I don’t think it sounds made up. My dad once mentioned that my grandfather put some money away in a trust for us grandkids because he thought my dad wouldn’t invest it sensibly. It’s never come up again and nothing my dad said made me think this is an amount of money that would change our lives in the slightest, a drop in the 529 bucket at best, but I absolutely believe OP’s memory of it coming up once and never again and kind of wondering if it’s real or not.


I agree. I was told my grandpa left me money in his will when he died. I was about 6. I never heard about it again. I assume my parents spent it. It is what it is. I had a good childhood and no student loans.

In your case OP- I’d assume there was no money. Anyone who had money doesn’t let their kid have student loans.


The default would be that parents can use a minor’s assets to pay for education. So that’s probably what happened.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 06:39     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
If you don’t know about it, consider it gone.

$10 million sounds like a lot of money but it’s easy to lose or spend most of it in a lifetime, even if you’re not wildly irresponsible. Spending more than you earn or long term care for an elderly person and poof.

If there’s a trust that will be relevant to you, you would probably know about it.

When family money changes someone’s young adult life, it’s either inheritance from a grandparent or gifts from a living parent. It’s not so much the prospect of inheritance.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 06:30     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
OP- you say you got no help from your parents. Did they pay for college? Give monetary gifts at holidays? Lend you their car or gift you one?
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 06:24     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
I am pretty sure if you were named in some trust, you would know about it or required legally to know about it for tax purposes.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 06:10     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
My family was in a similar situation. Very successful publishing business in the 80’s. I’m not able to talk to my parents about finances, and I’ll never be able to ask due to our strained relationship. I do know that my mom likely blew through her trust by making irresponsible decisions, essentially not working and living a lavish lifestyle for the past 40 years. I agree with the poster who said if you had college loans, there is likely no money. Sadly you just have to move on and realize that you’re on your own. Do you know the name of your grandparents/parents attorney? That is the only way you’ll find out if there is anything left.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 00:38     Subject: Re:Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
We have "tens of millions" but live in a modest 3 bedroom home. Our kids share a room, and we don't drive flashy SUVs or anything. That's just not the lifestyle we want, and not how we want to raise our kids. Our kids have no idea.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 00:30     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How did you know for a fact that your mom came from a family worth millions? Was it a family business?


Yes family business. Their house sold for low 7 figs in the 90’s and the Zestimate is in the 8 figures now for that house (they don’t own it anymore obviously… but I’m guessing they had at least 10 million in 90’s dollars, maybe wasn’t that much in the 80’s)

Does your mom have siblings? Who took over the business?


My mom’s older brother. So maybe everything went to him, I’m not too close with them so
I have no idea how well off they are. They live in a fairly typical UMC house.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 00:28     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How did you know for a fact that your mom came from a family worth millions? Was it a family business?


Yes family business. Their house sold for low 7 figs in the 90’s and the Zestimate is in the 8 figures now for that house (they don’t own it anymore obviously… but I’m guessing they had at least 10 million in 90’s dollars, maybe wasn’t that much in the 80’s)

Does your mom have siblings? Who took over the business?
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 00:23     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
Anonymous wrote:How did you know for a fact that your mom came from a family worth millions? Was it a family business?


Yes family business. Their house sold for low 7 figs in the 90’s and the Zestimate is in the 8 figures now for that house (they don’t own it anymore obviously… but I’m guessing they had at least 10 million in 90’s dollars, maybe wasn’t that much in the 80’s)
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 23:49     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
Anonymous wrote:Troll

Absolutely.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 23:46     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m 25 and I never talk about money with my parents, they live very modest lives and I have no idea what their net worth is, but growing up I knew for a fact my mom came from a wealthy family (both her parents are dead now). I don’t know how much but I think it was in the 10’s of millions in the 80’s. Someone in my family mentioned a generation skipping trust but I only heard that once and never was mentioned again. I feel awkward asking them and don’t want to come across as entitled but am naturally curious, was the money lost, or is it sitting somewhere? I’m making good money for my age and already own a home with no help from family so it’s not that concerning but just very curious. My parents have never had issues with paying bills but they live very modestly living in a tiny condo and don’t seem to spend much. I had 40k in student loans when graduating college as well (paid off on my own). Part of me thinks the money was lost due to mismanagement.


This sounds made up. Depending on how many tens of millions in the 80's, that could well be $1 billion+ today if just invested the S&P. Unlikely that your parents are billionaires and live in a tiny condo and not even a modest SFH. On the other hand, people who live modestly are unlikely to waste or mismanage a huge inheritance. The tens of millions in the 80s was likely a fantasy - your parents probably have a couple million today and are saving it for retirement and end-of-life care.


I don’t think it sounds made up. My dad once mentioned that my grandfather put some money away in a trust for us grandkids because he thought my dad wouldn’t invest it sensibly. It’s never come up again and nothing my dad said made me think this is an amount of money that would change our lives in the slightest, a drop in the 529 bucket at best, but I absolutely believe OP’s memory of it coming up once and never again and kind of wondering if it’s real or not.


I agree. I was told my grandpa left me money in his will when he died. I was about 6. I never heard about it again. I assume my parents spent it. It is what it is. I had a good childhood and no student loans.

In your case OP- I’d assume there was no money. Anyone who had money doesn’t let their kid have student loans.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 23:28     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
Anonymous wrote:I’m 25 and I never talk about money with my parents, they live very modest lives and I have no idea what their net worth is, but growing up I knew for a fact my mom came from a wealthy family (both her parents are dead now). I don’t know how much but I think it was in the 10’s of millions in the 80’s. Someone in my family mentioned a generation skipping trust but I only heard that once and never was mentioned again. I feel awkward asking them and don’t want to come across as entitled but am naturally curious, was the money lost, or is it sitting somewhere? I’m making good money for my age and already own a home with no help from family so it’s not that concerning but just very curious. My parents have never had issues with paying bills but they live very modestly living in a tiny condo and don’t seem to spend much. I had 40k in student loans when graduating college as well (paid off on my own). Part of me thinks the money was lost due to mismanagement.


If this is a real post it is so sad. What kind of a parent-child relationship do people have in this country that you can't talk to your parents about basic stuff like this?
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 22:35     Subject: Is it normal to have no idea about family money?
My grandmother set up a trust for each grandchild before she passed. It’s up to a whole $1,800 now and I get access in a few years. That initial $200 was all she could afford. To bad the fees are probably eating half the growth.