I do regret it but have no choice in the matter. If you saw me on the street, you would think not a bad looking guy, in great shape, dresses well. But women just aren't into me so nobody to have one with. I'm just not the urban professional type.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man in a sexless marriage with a lot of love, and no. My spouse has given me permission to have sex with someone else, but I don't. Involving myself with another person without disrupting my family life is going to be a lot of work, on a practical front, and it's a violation of the vow I took before God, so I don't do it.

Good for you. This is a very noble, high character thing to do. I hope your wife remembers her vows too and grows out of this phase. Maybe take the hit on the practical front for the short term by separating and she will come back once the Lesbian bed death thing happens.

Anonymous wrote:If you were in a low love/sexless marriage and you stayed faithful, do you regret it?

My first marriage was sexless and in some ways, I regret not having the affair. I had the opportunity to develop a relationship with a former A list celebrity. She was a super popular sex symbol in the 90s/ early 2000s and is still incredibly attractive (though her career has fallen off quite a bit). I met her one night, we hit it off, exchanged contact info, had a couple of conversations but I called myself doing the"right thing" and not pursuing her further. Fast forward 2 years and we divorce after DW having an affair with a celebrity and I could only laugh at the irony.

The only reason I don't regret it is that I'm happily remarried with kids and I don't know if that happens if I go further with my potential celebrity AP (butterfly effect and all).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man in a sexless marriage with a lot of love, and no. My spouse has given me permission to have sex with someone else, but I don't. Involving myself with another person without disrupting my family life is going to be a lot of work, on a practical front, and it's a violation of the vow I took before God, so I don't do it.

Why would your wife just not be intimate with you? Medical situation or just the kitchen is closed?

Midlife sexual orientation change.

Hmm, but is she then having sex with women now?

Yes, she has a girlfriend. I love her and my family and personally don't want to have sex with someone else, so I sacrifice sex to keep my family, but I don't force that on her. I'm happy.

Keep believing you’re happy… Stop being her doormat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man in a sexless marriage with a lot of love, and no. My spouse has given me permission to have sex with someone else, but I don't. Involving myself with another person without disrupting my family life is going to be a lot of work, on a practical front, and it's a violation of the vow I took before God, so I don't do it.

Why would your wife just not be intimate with you? Medical situation or just the kitchen is closed?

Midlife sexual orientation change.

Hmm, but is she then having sex with women now?

Yes, she has a girlfriend. I love her and my family and personally don't want to have sex with someone else, so I sacrifice sex to keep my family, but I don't force that

on her. I'm happy.

But she’s not just having sex with someone else - it’s emotional intimacy as well, if she has a GF. I can’t imagine that doesn’t affect your family life.

I have been married for 26 years and travel a lot for work. I have a lot of opportunities to cheat. I’m good looking, have an expense account and stay in amazing hotels. I don’t cheat because I am married to a person who seriously adores me. It would break their heart if I cheated. Sex with them is very boring so it is tempting. But fundamentally, their devotion is what keeps me in my own room alone

When I finally had an affair my only regret was not doing it ten years sooner.

Sorta regret it. I dunno, spouse is a good person but I'm just so bored having sex with the same person. It's like living a groundhog day over and over.

I get all the other points raised in the thread and that's the thing, there's just no clean way to do this without a lot of baggage and complications. A hall pass kinda thing sounds nice in theory but there's baggage and logistical complications there.

Anonymous wrote:Honor and integrity means too much to me. I live by a personal code of conduct. I’d never let anyone see that I’d break my word, especially someone else willing to cheat - and I’d never want to be forced to admit to my wife or kids that I broke my code. My stubbornness and competitiveness is what keeps me from cheating. Sacrificing all of that just for some strange doesn’t appeal to me.

+1 woman here

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man in a sexless marriage with a lot of love, and no. My spouse has given me permission to have sex with someone else, but I don't. Involving myself with another person without disrupting my family life is going to be a lot of work, on a practical front, and it's a violation of the vow I took before God, so I don't do it.

Why would God care about this at all? Why are you making sex plans with God?

Don’t be willfully obtuse. This isn’t Phil 101 and the girl behind you isn’t impressed.

Honor and integrity means too much to me. I live by a personal code of conduct. I’d never let anyone see that I’d break my word, especially someone else willing to cheat - and I’d never want to be forced to admit to my wife or kids that I broke my code. My stubbornness and competitiveness is what keeps me from cheating. Sacrificing all of that just for some strange doesn’t appeal to me.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man in a sexless marriage with a lot of love, and no. My spouse has given me permission to have sex with someone else, but I don't. Involving myself with another person without disrupting my family life is going to be a lot of work, on a practical front, and it's a violation of the vow I took before God, so I don't do it.

Why would God care about this at all? Why are you making sex plans with God?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man in a sexless marriage with a lot of love, and no. My spouse has given me permission to have sex with someone else, but I don't. Involving myself with another person without disrupting my family life is going to be a lot of work, on a practical front, and it's a violation of the vow I took before God, so I don't do it.

Why would your wife just not be intimate with you? Medical situation or just the kitchen is closed?

Midlife sexual orientation change.

Hmm, but is she then having sex with women now?

Yes, she has a girlfriend. I love her and my family and personally don't want to have sex with someone else, so I sacrifice sex to keep my family, but I don't force that on her. I'm happy.

Dude, your wife is having orgasms, if she is now a lesbian she doesn’t care if u have your needs met, you aren’t on her radar. You aren’t happy, but you deserve to be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man in a sexless marriage with a lot of love, and no. My spouse has given me permission to have sex with someone else, but I don't. Involving myself with another person without disrupting my family life is going to be a lot of work, on a practical front, and it's a violation of the vow I took before God, so I don't do it.

Why would your wife just not be intimate with you? Medical situation or just the kitchen is closed?

Midlife sexual orientation change.

Holy F… You’re a good man Charlie Brown.

I did not have sex for 90% of my marriage and yes, I regret not cheating because it was not worth staying faithful for and I eventually divorced anyway.