the amount of often-pointless administrative drudgery that mothers are expected to shoulder alone is, literally, an under-appreciated cause of cratering fertility rates in certain countries and demographics. have you ever read about a day in the life of a typical working Korean or Japanese mom? absolute miracle anyone is having any babies in those countries at all.

I have two and can barely manage. Don’t know how the 3+ parents do it!

By high school, they will be doing most of this stuff themselves. You’re almost there.

It ends when the last one leaves for college, although there is still some of it during the college years.

The worrying never ends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the drudgery less when there's only one child? Or is it basically the same. Trying to family plan

One is an adjustment from being childless to being a parent. 2 is better because you are experienced and also there is one adult per child. Three is horrible.

Mama Duggar said that 6 becomes easy again because your older children become the parents to younger siblings.

I have 3 and I actually found 0 to 1 the biggest life change. The difference in being a parent of 1 versus not being a parent at all is way bigger than having 1 vs 2 vs 3.

The more kids you have, the more there is an economy of scales. If I’m making 1 turkey sandwich for a packed lunch, making 2 more isn’t a huge deal. There’s only one pediatrician portal password to remember for 1 vs 3 kid. Also, things like PTA and field trip chaperoning are voluntary. I don’t mind doing some of that stuff even though I work full time, but I would just not sign up if it were that big of a deal.

But I do agree with OP that the admin tasks suck. Regardless of how many kids you have, filling out sunscreen authorizations and other summer camp forms is just tedious. Dealing with health insurance and billing errors is annoying. Of course there is some increase in this the more kids you have, but even my friends with 1-2 kids seem to hate this crap.

Summer is almost here though! I am just counting down the weeks to a looser schedule and forms being done.

First World Problems.

GET A GRIP.

Amen sista, amen!

Anonymous wrote:And specifically I mean:

Filling out forms, making appointments, signing up for camps and sports and music lessons, getting kids to and fro and juggling their ridiculous schedules that coaches and instructors feel they can change at the last minute without consequence, helping with (and remembering) school projects and quizzes and end of year gifts for teachers and the class party, criticism from my kids for not chaperoning a field trip when I’ve done several PER KID this year already, end of season gifts for coaches and troop leaders, every doctors dentist orthodontist appointment resulting in multiple bills each with their own system of payment and own portal and messaging system etc etc etc

The thing that’s on me, even though I wouldn’t change it for the world, is that we had three kids. And we do all the same stupid crap families with one kid do.

When does the drudgery end?

You’re the idiot who had 3 kids

Anonymous wrote:Omg I know! And I was on a zoom meeting for field trip chaperones (we already needed to be fingerprinted and take a 30 minute online course to be allowed to chaperone) and someone suggested setting up a Slack to communicate on the trip. Noooooo I don’t want to learn how to use yet another thing in order to simply chaperone a field trip!

Our mothers never had to do this much administrative work as parents. It’s out of control.

Call me crazy, but I’m fine with schools having background checks for volunteers they’re allowing to supervise my child. Now the DCPS TB test was a bit much, but this generation’s security controls are a good thing.

Anonymous wrote:Omg I know! And I was on a zoom meeting for field trip chaperones (we already needed to be fingerprinted and take a 30 minute online course to be allowed to chaperone) and someone suggested setting up a Slack to communicate on the trip. Noooooo I don’t want to learn how to use yet another thing in order to simply chaperone a field trip!

Our mothers never had to do this much administrative work as parents. It’s out of control.

So, just say NO.

As the ad said, Because you are worth it.

I have no disagreements that there’s plenty of drudgery and parenting, especially all the stuff with medical and dental appointments which can’t be avoided. However, half of the stuff on that list was optional it’s OK to take the option not to I have three kids too.

I only have one but I am kind of checked out already in MS. I never volunteer, I send e gift cards to the teachers I like, and since my kid isn’t really into anything/talented/driven, he just does sports at school. But yeah I remember elementary when I had hopes for him to become good at something or at least to like something enough to want to work hard, heck, even just attend! Covid killed some of it and then his personality did the rest.
So yeah I am off the hamster wheel now.

Anonymous wrote:Is the drudgery less when there's only one child? Or is it basically the same. Trying to family plan

One is an adjustment from being childless to being a parent. 2 is better because you are experienced and also there is one adult per child. Three is horrible.

Mama Duggar said that 6 becomes easy again because your older children become the parents to younger siblings.

Anonymous wrote:And specifically I mean:

Filling out forms, making appointments, signing up for camps and sports and music lessons, getting kids to and fro and juggling their ridiculous schedules that coaches and instructors feel they can change at the last minute without consequence, helping with (and remembering) school projects and quizzes and end of year gifts for teachers and the class party, criticism from my kids for not chaperoning a field trip when I’ve done several PER KID this year already, end of season gifts for coaches and troop leaders, every doctors dentist orthodontist appointment resulting in multiple bills each with their own system of payment and own portal and messaging system etc etc etc

The thing that’s on me, even though I wouldn’t change it for the world, is that we had three kids. And we do all the same stupid crap families with one kid do.

When does the drudgery end?

Hugs! Its tough and societal set up makes it tougher. You are doing a service to your kids and to humanity. Its a thankless job but its much more important than most silly jobs people in corporate cubicles are doing.

It may seem never ending but it would and you'll send them out there in the world to live their independent lives and will become a proud and relieved empty nester.

Be glad that you didn’t parent in the days when you had to fill out cards and forms for each kid for each class instead of being able to go online and make changes from last year in a single spot. First week of school was a total time suck with this stuff.

And the drudgery of parenting is multiplied by the number of kids you have. I mean it’s triple the work. You can do the occasional three kids to the dentist at the same time, but your kids aren’t likely to all get braces together so you spend like a decade going to the orthodontist. And then the activities for multiple kids . . . But truthfully, I don’t mind it too much. It’s better than not having kids.