I know that all of the things you are asking of your DH, you do yourself. But you are martyring yourself, and you’ve set up a pretty rigid set of expectations for the weekend. It’s too much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, you complain a lot.

OP here -

I just wanted to spend time with my family and feel appreciated.

Enjoy the day off. You can spend time with them on Sunday.

A home cooked meal? And cleaning the whole house? That’s very demanding. Why not let him get carry out?

I know a martyr-mom who talks about how for Mother’s Day she only asked for 3 kid-free hours but didn’t get it. So even if this particular post is fake, there are actually people like the OP. They won’t hire cleaners or babysitters because of control issues.

Get a cleaning person to come, permanently not just this weekend. If you can’t get one in time for Sat do enough cleaning to satisfy yourself then just enjoy being alone, get a massage , order takeout…… he probably feels pulled in all different directions so I wouldn’t give him a hard time I would work around it.

No one else is going to say it? OK, I will. You're not his mother. And even so, he'll be spending Mother's Day with you, OP. You expect too much. Let him spend one of the weekend days with his family, celebrating his mother.

I don’t think this thread is fake and expect it to be 30 pages long by Sunday evening.

Expectations are ridiculously high for these occasions and riddled with disappointed mothers. It’s very sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:JFC. Can we just cancel Mother’s Day? Every year, the same avalanche of whining.

+10000000

I like these posts (and birthday posts) because I read them to my husband to remind him how good he has it.

OP , you were gonna whine about whatever happened on Mother’s Day no matter what. Maybe get the whining out of your system now and try to enjoy just one weekend?

Anonymous wrote:How dirty is your house that it takes two people an entire day to clean it? Just hire cleaners. Somethings in life are not worth the stress. If you can find the money in your budget, cleaners are worth it.

It sounds like your husband will be back for Sunday. Stop stressing and enjoy a quiet Saturday to do whatever you want. Go to a movie, go to a museum, binge a Netflix show, get take out, get a pedicure, sleep in, take a nap, WHATEVER. Pivot here lady.

Spending the day alone sounds great to me, but op asked to spend the weekend with her family.

For many people a messy home is not something to let go but a cause of stress. Op is not getting what she wants for mother's day and will have to suck it up like mothers always do, she's allowed to complain about it, just like fil is allowed to harass her dh to leave op for the day. Dh had a choice too, and he picked leaving op alone. Making the best out of the situation is good advice but the dh needs to step up at some point and stop putting his wife last

This has to be fake.

OP you need to find out how to make yourself happy without controlling your husband, mainly because you can’t. Can only control your choices. I would personally let the house go for one week and spend the day enjoying myself. Tomorrow they will take you out. Win win.

PS my cleaner comes every other week and it’s fine — our house is pretty clean.

How dirty is your house that it takes two people an entire day to clean it? Just hire cleaners. Somethings in life are not worth the stress. If you can find the money in your budget, cleaners are worth it.

It sounds like your husband will be back for Sunday. Stop stressing and enjoy a quiet Saturday to do whatever you want. Go to a movie, go to a museum, binge a Netflix show, get take out, get a pedicure, sleep in, take a nap, WHATEVER. Pivot here lady.

I'm sorry op, these responses are awful! Posters are berating you for your requests saying cleaning is not a big deal but also how dare you demand he spend the day cleaning (never mind that you've spent your Saturdays cleaning alone). This culture is so harsh on moms. It should be possible for you to ask for your dh to do this for one weekend when he's supposed to help you every weekend. If it were me I would say go but no fishing for the next 6 weeks and he cleans on his own the next 4 Saturdays to make up for this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, you complain a lot.

OP here -

I just wanted to spend time with my family and feel appreciated.

You can do that Sunday. It doesnt seem like your husband's the bad guy here. Maybe get a cleaning service and enjoy Saturday alone and have Sunday to relax with the family.

Get a cleaning service. Stop at Panera Bread on way to Grandmas. Have next Sunday for you. It’s not that hard.