Anonymous
Post 05/04/2023 12:41     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Anonymous wrote:Burn out is real. I have a junior varsity athlete who maintains a 4.2 GPA and is taking 5 AP/DE classes this year. He feels immense pressure to boost his ECs for college. He focuses on any ECs in the summer, but that’s tricky because he has no downtime. I dealt with a mental breakdown out of him last night. His social life has suffered and has no time for friends. It sucks. The pressure to be perfect for college is immense and terrible.


You could just…not do this. You are pushing the narrative that if your child doesn’t get into a very select group of schools that he won’t be happy or successful. And it just isn’t true. Unless you stay on the path you are on, because he’ll feel like a failure.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2023 12:30     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
I would suggest a couple things:

1. Whatever class is the “leadership” thing at his school. It is strictly a resume type thing.
2. Scouts. He is not very likely to make Eagle but it is easy to get involved and ticks leadership boxes. Maybe he loves it and pushes through. Certainly Eagle rank is a plus for military academies. But, Eagle or not, he can still be a troop leader which will help and scouts are very understanding with time requirements for high school kids. Most Scout things are self paced, and meetings are evenings. Two of my kids did Scouts with friends who later swam in college so it can easily be done.

Honestly, a 14 year old kid who joined and focused on advancement during the summers could easily make Eagle, and that still has some little pull at the academies (and elsewhere). My two youngest are Eagles and they regularly stop by to grab their camping gear as they are off to hike/camp for a few days.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2023 11:56     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Anonymous wrote:Burn out is real. I have a junior varsity athlete who maintains a 4.2 GPA and is taking 5 AP/DE classes this year. He feels immense pressure to boost his ECs for college. He focuses on any ECs in the summer, but that’s tricky because he has no downtime. I dealt with a mental breakdown out of him last night. His social life has suffered and has no time for friends. It sucks. The pressure to be perfect for college is immense and terrible.


I'm sorry he's feeling that way! But honestly the key for college is very few ECs. Depth not breadth. GL to him!
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2023 08:46     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Anonymous wrote:Burn out is real. I have a junior varsity athlete who maintains a 4.2 GPA and is taking 5 AP/DE classes this year. He feels immense pressure to boost his ECs for college. He focuses on any ECs in the summer, but that’s tricky because he has no downtime. I dealt with a mental breakdown out of him last night. His social life has suffered and has no time for friends. It sucks. The pressure to be perfect for college is immense and terrible.


I'm sorry. I completely agree with you.

My sophomore is already feeling the pressure and I'm so nervous next year when AP classes make up the bulk of their schedule. We already agreed that club and varsity can't happen next year.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2023 08:35     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
PP here with the HS and college swimmer. Have you looked at “collegeconfidential,service academy” forums for some ideas?
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2023 06:44     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Burn out is real. I have a junior varsity athlete who maintains a 4.2 GPA and is taking 5 AP/DE classes this year. He feels immense pressure to boost his ECs for college. He focuses on any ECs in the summer, but that’s tricky because he has no downtime. I dealt with a mental breakdown out of him last night. His social life has suffered and has no time for friends. It sucks. The pressure to be perfect for college is immense and terrible.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2023 06:04     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Your description of yearly swimming seems over the top and this is why kids burn out. Hopefully, the coach includes condition vs swimming for 12 months because this is hard on their shoulders. That said, my DS was a HS and college swimmer (D3 SLAC). Since swim was a winter sport, my DS was also in the school’s marching band which was in the fall only. His summers consisted of lower key summer swim, lifeguarding (leadership), and teaching swimming (leadership).
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2023 05:14     Subject: Re:Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Anonymous wrote:OP, you should focus on the activities that will help your DC get an appointment. If your kid isn't fast enough to get recruited, then dial back the swimming and focus on scouts and leadership opportunities. Swim for fun and to stay in shape. Good luck.


Coaches don't allow this. It's what everybody has been saying.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2023 23:54     Subject: Re:Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
OP, you should focus on the activities that will help your DC get an appointment. If your kid isn't fast enough to get recruited, then dial back the swimming and focus on scouts and leadership opportunities. Swim for fun and to stay in shape. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2023 16:47     Subject: Re:Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Can he got involved in class or school leadership (class president, class secretary, etc) or show leadership through his club or school teams (e.g., caption of the swim team)? He should start thinking about how to position himself to get a captain spot and you may actually be able to help him a bit with this subtly by helping to host team suppers or organizing things for the coaches. My parents never did this type of thing but I saw how some parents did and it helped to position their children as leaders. If he's spending this much time swimming he should be going to the service academy swim camps (if they exist) and speaking to the coaches as early as possible. They are really going to be integral to helping him get in.

I ran three seasons in HS and was a recruited DI athlete at an Ivy. I ran seven days a week and was a huge time commitment. I can't imagine doing a club sport on top of that. My kids are young but they are involved in water polo which has a similar level of commitment to swimming starting at a young age and it's really crazy to me. It's too early to say, but I would probably not advise/want them to do club water polo during their school season. I've looked at the schedules and it would truly be insane. I don't think they'd have time for homework.


I was going to suggest something like this. Maybe swimming can get him into the military academy. My nephew did a rugby camp at some point in high school and caught the eye of the Navy coach. Navy wasn't on his radar at ALL but it quickly became a top choice. He was originally waitlisted but I think the coach helped get him in. He's now in his 3rd year and has had an amazing experience. Navy rugby is playing for the national championship this weekend!


ID camps aren't super helpful in swim recruiting, but absolutely, if he is fast enough, swimming could be what gets him attention from the academies. When your sport is a 15-20h commitment plus your academic commitment, there isn't much time left.

It's an all eggs in one basket approach for the time-being, with trying to fit in some other leadership opportunities as suggested, but if he is fast enough...
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2023 16:41     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
If your kid is at a FCPS high school, consider taking a Leadership class. It is in lieu of an elective, but allows them to have a class period to serve in leadership for a variety of school events.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2023 16:22     Subject: Re:Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Anonymous wrote:Can he got involved in class or school leadership (class president, class secretary, etc) or show leadership through his club or school teams (e.g., caption of the swim team)? He should start thinking about how to position himself to get a captain spot and you may actually be able to help him a bit with this subtly by helping to host team suppers or organizing things for the coaches. My parents never did this type of thing but I saw how some parents did and it helped to position their children as leaders. If he's spending this much time swimming he should be going to the service academy swim camps (if they exist) and speaking to the coaches as early as possible. They are really going to be integral to helping him get in.

I ran three seasons in HS and was a recruited DI athlete at an Ivy. I ran seven days a week and was a huge time commitment. I can't imagine doing a club sport on top of that. My kids are young but they are involved in water polo which has a similar level of commitment to swimming starting at a young age and it's really crazy to me. It's too early to say, but I would probably not advise/want them to do club water polo during their school season. I've looked at the schedules and it would truly be insane. I don't think they'd have time for homework.


I was going to suggest something like this. Maybe swimming can get him into the military academy. My nephew did a rugby camp at some point in high school and caught the eye of the Navy coach. Navy wasn't on his radar at ALL but it quickly became a top choice. He was originally waitlisted but I think the coach helped get him in. He's now in his 3rd year and has had an amazing experience. Navy rugby is playing for the national championship this weekend!
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2023 13:31     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s tough with sports but kids do it so they might have better advice.

My advice - don’t do everything at once. What season does your son play his sports? Could he devote more time to his leadership activities in the off-season?


It's EXTREMELY difficult. And I worry about my kid doing too much. It's almost like they have to choose between things, even when they have multiple interests (like mine does). And it sucks.


And I'll note that the coaches and teacher advisors don't help. Everything is "this activity needs to be the priority and if it's not you won't [letter/get credit/ be permitted to participate]." There's VERY little flexibility to allow kids to try different things, or recognize some kids have an interest but may not want to dedicate themselves full time to the Green Club or other clubs, and then they get spread way too thin. This is the time to try things! And yet they can't do it.


In their defense, I think some kids are flaky and they need to take a hard line in order for their activity to succeed in any way and get off the ground.

The issue is how over the top demanding sports have gotten for kids this age. It's an arms race and everyone feels like they have to do it to compete. Even where they feel forced to specialize and do one sport. In our day, the best athletes all were multi-sport. Very few kids were playing the same sport in a formal manner year-round to the exclusion of all else.


If they're flakey, they fail. No reason to give a non-driving teenager a hard time because mom was throwing up all day from food poisoning and couldn't get him to practice*.

*totally hypothetical, clearly
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2023 13:24     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s tough with sports but kids do it so they might have better advice.

My advice - don’t do everything at once. What season does your son play his sports? Could he devote more time to his leadership activities in the off-season?


It's EXTREMELY difficult. And I worry about my kid doing too much. It's almost like they have to choose between things, even when they have multiple interests (like mine does). And it sucks.


And I'll note that the coaches and teacher advisors don't help. Everything is "this activity needs to be the priority and if it's not you won't [letter/get credit/ be permitted to participate]." There's VERY little flexibility to allow kids to try different things, or recognize some kids have an interest but may not want to dedicate themselves full time to the Green Club or other clubs, and then they get spread way too thin. This is the time to try things! And yet they can't do it.


In their defense, I think some kids are flaky and they need to take a hard line in order for their activity to succeed in any way and get off the ground.

The issue is how over the top demanding sports have gotten for kids this age. It's an arms race and everyone feels like they have to do it to compete. Even where they feel forced to specialize and do one sport. In our day, the best athletes all were multi-sport. Very few kids were playing the same sport in a formal manner year-round to the exclusion of all else.
Anonymous
Post 05/03/2023 13:19     Subject: Fitting in other EC's as a varsity athlete
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I sometimes was late to after school varsity sports practice because I was in a club that was meeting. Usually it was OK. I don't know if it's still like that.

I remember one time, I was in a club that met on Tuesday and one that met on Thursday. One week, the advisor for the Tuesday club needed to talk to some of us urgently (the editors- it was newspaper) after school on Thursday. I told my friend to tell the other advisor I would be a few minutes late.

When I walked into the Thursday club at 3:20, that advisor was furious. I was just a good kid trying my best, trying to do as I was told. Some teachers actually had it out for high achieving kids. I honestly think she was angry that some of us were going places.

Anyway, my point is-- I hope things are better now but it's terrible what we do to these kids.


It's not better. My kid has experienced things like this. And DC's primary sport coach would not excuse them for anything other than medical (and even it was "encouraged" that they go at other times that didn't conflict with practice) or things like important academics (i.e., tests). No excused for other clubs. No excuses for yearbook pics (which are annoyingly after school in the fall at our HS) so my kid won't even be in the stupid yearbook for anything but the sport. A minor issue but stil. . . .


Not really a minor issue. Can you imagine an employee not getting a photo done for a silly reason like this? Of course. In real life (even the military, post-academy), everyone works with you.