One year the room mom seemed kind of shady. I contributed $50 and spoke with three other moms who also contributed around $50 each. So that's at least $200 to the K teacher just from the 4 of us. Well, later on the teacher thanked the class for the gift and adding it up (ex. Starbucks tumbler and &50 gift card, a few snacks, gift card for $50 for lunch) it added up to $150. That was the last time I contributed $50. Now I contribute $10 to the group and anything more than that I have my child personally give to the teacher.

Every class I’ve ever been in the room parent has all kids sign the card regardless of donation participation or not. This whole situation just sounds a bit off to me.

I’d give a small amount to room parent and larger gift directly to teacher. I wouldn’t trust someone else with a larger sum of money in this situation.

I usually give $10 to $20 (max) towards most group gifts. We attend public school. If my kids had a spectacular teacher I would give something else. We have only had one really great teacher with all my kids and I gave that teacher a really big gift card.

I think you are in an evolving cycle of parents who initially give normally/generously and then realize they are the majority of the pot. So the next time they dial back and some other schmo takes their place. Or someone contributed and never looked at the final amount on the card. Wash, rinse, repeat. The only way to break out of the cycle is for the parent rep to specify an amount or range, or give a gift of no cash value (photo book, letters signed by everyone, etc).

So? I used to contribute very little for years (think $5!). Then our HHI increased and I was the only person to contribute hundreds of dollars to the orchestra fundraiser in middle school. They needed the money for routine repairs of instruments, strings, rehairs, etc.

It's unhealthy to keep score, OP. But if you could use that money for something else, please understand that you are the best judge of where to spend it!

What I would do is give $20 since you were so generous before. Then I would volunteer to be a room parent next year and set a better example.

As a room parent, I assume 75% participation and send out a note at the beginning of the year with a suggested amount and a breakdown of the budget. One contribution in September is for 3 classroom parties, teacher and assistant birthdays, winter holiday gift, teacher appreciation week, and a contribution to pooled funds for gifts of appreciation for the Specials teachers - Art, music, etc.

Mid-year and close to the end of the year I send out a breakdown of the total collected and how it was spent. If the amount left over is less than $25, it is donated to the PTA. If it’s more, I tell the teacher how much it is and ask if there is something we can buy for the classroom.

All gifts are signed from ALL children. I do not keep score of who contributed what or share that information with anyone besides a fellow room parent. Even then if I know they are gossipy, I just tell them the total collected.

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at how many people think $10 is an appropriate amount for a class gift! I also give $50. I've never had the room mom publicize how much the total is and I'm OK with not knowing. I give what I think we should. Its sad that others don't though. Honestly makes me want to give more to cover the lower amounts!!

Do it! I can't afford that much.

I am shocked at how many people think $10 is an appropriate amount for a class gift! I also give $50. I've never had the room mom publicize how much the total is and I'm OK with not knowing. I give what I think we should. Its sad that others don't though. Honestly makes me want to give more to cover the lower amounts!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it was just an ordinary year I give to the class gift. If my child had a difficult year and the teacher went all out I’d give $150 gift certificate.

What does that work out to for each hour of going "all out"?

What are you talking about? The parent isn't expected to pay the teacher's wages. She's suggesting a token of appreciation.

Anonymous wrote:If it was just an ordinary year I give to the class gift. If my child had a difficult year and the teacher went all out I’d give $150 gift certificate.

What does that work out to for each hour of going "all out"?

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me last year in K. We had always had a suggested contribution of $100 per child at our preschool for holiday gifts, so I contributed $100 to our K class fund which was to be split between lead and assistant teacher. The full gift amount collected was $800, so I had contributed 1/8 of it. I am also confused, and do not know what you're missing (because I'm missing it too!). To solve for it this year, I just contributed less to the class fund (I think I gave $25 at the holidays) but have taken other opportunities to gift to my son's first grade teacher (i.e. gift cards for other random reasons like "back to school", valentines day, "happy spring break").

Holeeeee crap. $100 per child?! At Christmas when I'm stretched thin? Hell no.

Op, donate $10 to the group gift so that you don't look like a scrooge, and then get the teacher a bigger gift card just from your kid. Or tell room mom "oh shoot, I shopped ahead and bought end of the year gifts for my kids' teachers already. Thank you for all your hard work this year!"

If it was just an ordinary year I give to the class gift. If my child had a difficult year and the teacher went all out I’d give $150 gift certificate.

$5 and have your kid make a picture or write a nice appreciate note to the teacher.

Going forward, I’d contribute $15 to group gifts and then perhaps you could do something on your own for holidays or end of year (like $30 gift card or whatever).