Anonymous
05/01/2023 22:45
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
My parents pay. I mentioned it as they were talking about estate planning and estate taxes and they were enthusiastic about it. They pay for both kids, about $85,000 a year. We’d find a way if they didn’t pay, but it wouldn’t be easy. I shamelessly tell them the amount annually and I’m prepared to pay myself if they stop. I think it’s incredibly helpful and I’m happy to take it - my kids love their school.
Anonymous
05/01/2023 22:07
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
Anonymous wrote:Nope. My parents paid for all of their kids college and graduate school. They gave us each $500k towards a house. They give about $5-10k per year per grandkid for college, but say they can’t cover private school for all their grandkids. None of us have actually asked but they made that clear when kids were little, and it probably would be too much money for them with a net worth of $10M. The families who pay for all their grandkids private education k-12 must be extremely wealthy.
I mean yes, obviously. But yours are also extremely wealthy (and extremely generous), no? It’s all about perspective. My in laws gave us $10,000 toward a house and we were so appreciative and just blown away by their generosity. I cannot even imagine them giving us 50x that amount.
Anonymous
05/01/2023 21:47
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
Most grandparents who pay tuition do so because they have a high net worth and it’s a tax freebie as far as inheritance taxes go (doesn’t count against the lifetime max giving).
Anonymous
05/01/2023 21:43
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
Anonymous wrote:Nope. My parents paid for all of their kids college and graduate school. They gave us each $500k towards a house. They give about $5-10k per year per grandkid for college, but say they can’t cover private school for all their grandkids. None of us have actually asked but they made that clear when kids were little, and it probably would be too much money for them with a net worth of $10M. The families who pay for all their grandkids private education k-12 must be extremely wealthy.
With $500K for a house, you could have paid cash fully for a house and had money left over for college.
Anonymous
05/01/2023 21:41
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
Nope. My parents paid for all of their kids college and graduate school. They gave us each $500k towards a house. They give about $5-10k per year per grandkid for college, but say they can’t cover private school for all their grandkids. None of us have actually asked but they made that clear when kids were little, and it probably would be too much money for them with a net worth of $10M. The families who pay for all their grandkids private education k-12 must be extremely wealthy.
Anonymous
05/01/2023 21:25
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
Ha. No.
My MIL’s parents paid for private school for my husband had his sibling he 2 years of college. My MIL tells my husband our children are our responsibility, which is totally true, but he is not amused by his mother.
My MIL’s parents paid for private school for my husband had his sibling he 2 years of college. My MIL tells my husband our children are our responsibility, which is totally true, but he is not amused by his mother.
Anonymous
05/01/2023 20:21
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
My ILs have not, despite having a NW of over 15M. We don’t need it, but it’d certainly be nice.
Anonymous
05/01/2023 20:11
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, they don’t.
No, we don’t.
We would never ask them to.
Both sets of grandparents have contributed generously to college funds, but that was their own idea. We are very grateful, of course. But it’s not expected. Again, we would never ASK anyone to pay for our child’s education.
Ok, by the question was do they pay for not do you ask them to pay for and your answer is yes. It’s not necessarily a binary thing, but you’re saying no when the answer (for you) is actually yes. Weird.
The question was do your in laws and/or parents pay for private school, which I take to mean K-12. So, I could’ve misunderstood that part, but if the OP meant K-12 then the answer is no. Another question was, ‘do you ask them to?’ and the answer to that is also no.
The thought of asking others to pay my child’s tuition is, to me, unseemly. From pre-K all the way through to college and beyond. If it’s freely offered, great, but don’t ask.
Anonymous
05/01/2023 19:59
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
Anonymous wrote:We don’t expect anything from them, nor do we ever ask.
What they have done/do:
-private school tuition, roughly $40k x 2
-$15-$16k annual gift for each of us (so x 4)
-wedding gift of $500k + a $1.7M trust
-we typically join them for an annual vacation at a property they own and if it works out, we fly privately with them and they won’t let us pay for anything while we are there
You don't need to ask as they do plenty and give freely.
Anonymous
05/01/2023 19:58
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
Anonymous wrote:Nope, neither set of parents have ever offered to pay a dime, which is fine by me (we can afford it).
I’m actually surprised so many people on here have parents paying. Neither my folks nor DH’s folks - all UMC - have never given any indication whatsoever that they’d want to help us financially. I don’t even know if it’s crossed their minds!
Both sets of grandparents gave my parents, who both had good jobs money for themselves and us yearly for many years. My parents don't give us a dime and the rare occasion we see them we pay for dinner (or there is drama despite them having plenty of money). For some families, parents like to help their kids. I hope to help mine like my grandparents did us (mainly college and first car).
Anonymous
05/01/2023 19:57
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
Anonymous wrote:We don’t expect anything from them, nor do we ever ask.
What they have done/do:
-private school tuition, roughly $40k x 2
-$15-$16k annual gift for each of us (so x 4)
-wedding gift of $500k + a $1.7M trust
-we typically join them for an annual vacation at a property they own and if it works out, we fly privately with them and they won’t let us pay for anything while we are there
Are they by chance looking to adopt another child? This all sounds amazing!!
Anonymous
05/01/2023 19:54
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
Nope, neither set of parents have ever offered to pay a dime, which is fine by me (we can afford it).
I’m actually surprised so many people on here have parents paying. Neither my folks nor DH’s folks - all UMC - have never given any indication whatsoever that they’d want to help us financially. I don’t even know if it’s crossed their minds!
I’m actually surprised so many people on here have parents paying. Neither my folks nor DH’s folks - all UMC - have never given any indication whatsoever that they’d want to help us financially. I don’t even know if it’s crossed their minds!
Anonymous
05/01/2023 19:36
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
No, and if they offered, we would not accept.
Anonymous
05/01/2023 19:31
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
No and they all disagree with our decision to use Catholic school (despite all 4 of them being Catholic) because "public school is free and good enough." $200 per year per kid check from my parents, nothing but toys from my ILs.
Anonymous
05/01/2023 19:20
Subject: Do you parents/ILs pay for
No and we have never asked. None contribute to the college fund except for a check for birthdays and holidays. I’m taking $50-500 per year depending on the grandparent.