Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 20:30     Subject: Re:Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
I think of it as the hosts are those offering up the locale for the get together. Everyone makes it possible by contributing food and drink.

I may not be able to open my home to others but I want to be together and don’t want all the burden and expense to always fall on you as the host. I’d you’ll provide the venue I’ll happily bring food and drink.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 20:20     Subject: Re:Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
Some people like to host and entertain but don't like to cook and will enjoy the evening more with a little help - some like to cook but don't like to host - some like to do it all. I think it's as simple as that!
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 20:18     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
I think potlucks can be fun. On the other hand, I don't like "bring your own burger to grill" invites and have no problem declining them.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 20:15     Subject: Re:Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most of my friends are horribly afraid to open their homes to others. I don’t know why. So when 10 of us get together regularly but only 3 feel comfortable hosting after the 5th time I feel like others need to contribute.


Contribute is one thing, potluck is another. There's a huge difference to me between the hosts saying "can you bring a salad or dessert?" when they invite us (the answer to which is pretty much always yes) and sending around a spreadsheet with stuff you need to sign up for.

Also, as people who are very good at cooking and will do a good job with our contribution, I resent potlucks because I know many/most other people will not. We'll show up with a carefully thought out side or main that we put time into planning and executing, and half of the other guests will show up with something they grabbed from the grocery store on the way over. If they remember at all -- I've been to potlucks where there basically was no main because someone forgot to bring meat for grilling or something (I also think it's obnoxious for the hosts not to just plan the main and farm out the sides/apps/dessert).

Some people can't host for whatever reason (small house, pets, they are hoarders, I don't know) but that's not an excuse for planning potlucks for all your hosting gigs and doing a piss poor job even at that.


I’ve never heard of a potluck outside of work, where there was a spreadsheet, and people were assigned dishes. Maybe I run with a different crowd.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 20:11     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
Anonymous wrote:There are so many cheap meals you can make to me it makes no sense. As a guest, I don't mind bringing desert/drinks or something but it's tacky to ask adults to bring food for something you are hosting.


So don’t attend. NBD. Not everything is for everyone. When I used to host more frequently, we would provide the main and guests would bring salads and desserts. I hosted a potluck for a group of my college friends - it was easier for the group to meet at my house than to go to a restaurant but there was no way that I could cook for the whole group. Some people cooked, others baked, and some people contributed store bought items. It worked out well and it was great to see all our friends.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 20:05     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve never hosted a potluck but I’m not bothered by them. Quite frankly, I think we’d all be better off if more people were willing to host with that kind of casual vibe.

I’d much rather hang with the potluck crowd than the people who are convinced that any food prepared by others is contaminated with pet hair and fecal matter. That’s no way to go through life.




I watch cats on countertops, people putting their nasty toilet seats in the dishwater and other various disgusting things. I think people being wary of contaminated food is justified.


Wow, I have never heard of this!
m

So gross! Google it.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 20:00     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
There are so many cheap meals you can make to me it makes no sense. As a guest, I don't mind bringing desert/drinks or something but it's tacky to ask adults to bring food for something you are hosting.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 19:59     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve never hosted a potluck but I’m not bothered by them. Quite frankly, I think we’d all be better off if more people were willing to host with that kind of casual vibe.

I’d much rather hang with the potluck crowd than the people who are convinced that any food prepared by others is contaminated with pet hair and fecal matter. That’s no way to go through life.




I watch cats on countertops, people putting their nasty toilet seats in the dishwater and other various disgusting things. I think people being wary of contaminated food is justified.


Wow, I have never heard of this!


How is this even possible?
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 19:56     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:First, I never expect a hostess gift and frankly, don’t want one. While I appreciate generosity, that custom is one I see no need for. I host if I want to host, not to accumulate stuff.

Second, potlucks are just tradition in some areas. Usually it’s when people are all reasonably close and recognize that sharing the duty of providing the food lightens the load for the host and can be fun. My parents and families we were close with regularly had potlucks and everyone remembered the dip so and so would always bring, or another family’s usual dessert, etc.

I love hosting and enjoy serving what I hope is an appealing meal. I always end up with too much, but that’s part of the fun of it - making sure there’s something for everyone and no one goes home hungry. If someone invited me to a potluck, I’d happily bring along a dish to share - but I’m also confident in my ability to bring a killer dessert or appetizer. It’s not a burden to me to bake something delicious to share with people, especially not people I really like.


There’s something that you shared at the end that really gave me pause “ It’s not a burden to me to bake something delicious to share with people, especially not people I really like.” I really appreciate this insight. It’s a beautiful and selfless way to think. Thank you


Aw, you’re welcome! I’m glad that sentence resonated with you.

And that said, I also understand people who cringe at potlucks because they don’t like to or can’t cook well - I have a good friend like that. So, I completely understand if that’s how someone feels. I learned how to bake when I was a teenager and it’s something I enjoy sharing. If someone who I know doesn’t like to cook asks what they can bring, I leave it up to them or suggest something they can easily buy, like cheese and crackers or fruit salad. OP, I appreciate your openness to different perspectives!
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 19:55     Subject: Re:Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
Of course I never expect a hostess gift.

Not sure what your kid situation is, but I am in the trenches with 3 kids and I only throw crappy dinner parties & this is what my friends and I like to do:

https://www.thekitchn.com/5-rules-for-hosting-a-crappy-dinner-party-235815
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 19:48     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
Anonymous wrote:We have a lot of this in my social group which means a lot of potlucks. I think the main difference is that we see it is simply getting together rather than a formal, hosting duty. We are a casual group. But even when we do have a more formal party in my group, we all ask “what can we bring”?


Same. I love a potluck. It’s an easy way to gather with less pressure for everyone. The host usually provides the main and everyone else contributes a side/veg/sweet or whatever they feel like. It’s a fun way to try new recipes too.

Also as many have food sensitivities it means we all know at least what we brought is safe to eat.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 19:48     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve never hosted a potluck but I’m not bothered by them. Quite frankly, I think we’d all be better off if more people were willing to host with that kind of casual vibe.

I’d much rather hang with the potluck crowd than the people who are convinced that any food prepared by others is contaminated with pet hair and fecal matter. That’s no way to go through life.




I watch cats on countertops, people putting their nasty toilet seats in the dishwater and other various disgusting things. I think people being wary of contaminated food is justified.


Wow, I have never heard of this!
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 19:44     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
I do not invite for a potluck...but my group always offers something. I guess we started that way when all the kids lived at home and we were a big group. I still provide the main crux of the meal but a few desserts or a great salad is appreciated.

I have no desire for a hostess gift!
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 19:43     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
Anonymous wrote:I’ve never hosted a potluck but I’m not bothered by them. Quite frankly, I think we’d all be better off if more people were willing to host with that kind of casual vibe.

I’d much rather hang with the potluck crowd than the people who are convinced that any food prepared by others is contaminated with pet hair and fecal matter. That’s no way to go through life.




I watch cats on countertops, people putting their nasty toilet seats in the dishwater and other various disgusting things. I think people being wary of contaminated food is justified.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 19:38     Subject: Potluck people come in….I need insight on your reasons
We have a lot of this in my social group which means a lot of potlucks. I think the main difference is that we see it is simply getting together rather than a formal, hosting duty. We are a casual group. But even when we do have a more formal party in my group, we all ask “what can we bring”?