Anonymous wrote:I went to the grocery store last night and thought about buying myself a single slice of chocolate cake as a treat. I looked at all the different cakes for about 15 minutes and ultimately left without cake.

Last night I ate a bunch of fruit instead that wasn’t really satisfying. And today I really want chocolate cake. I wish I had just listened to my body yesterday and eaten the one slice of cake.

I’ve lost a hundred pounds in the past two years and now have a bmi on the high end of the normal range. I haven’t had cake in a month and sometimes should just eat some cake.

Following up on this, I went back to the store yesterday and got myself a slice of the cake I wanted, and ate it after dinner that night. Now I'm happy. The End.

OP, if you are trying to lose but find yourself eating cake every day, or a few times a week, that's clearly a problem getting in the way of you losing. If it helps, I have one cheat day/week, when I allow myself a limited amount of indulgences (burger, chips, dessert, etc). I've seen how much I gain from this and overall I'm fine with it when my other 6 days are more restrictive -- I still kept losing, and psychologically it was helpful to know something was coming. So that helped me in a way with my willpower for the rest of the week, which I did need to maintain in order to come out with a net gain at the end of a week.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:All you have to do to lose weight is be in a calorie deficit. You can have that cake ( so don’t beat yourself up) if the rest of your daily calories are still in a deficit.

When you tell yourself that you cannot ever again have a piece of chocolate cake, all you do is think about that chocolate cake until you have it, and possible binge on it. So eat the cake here and there, and on that day go light with the rest of your calories. Then tomorrow go back to eating healthy foods still in a calorie deficit to lose weight.

I agree with this. The important thing is to look back on the day and consider why you ate the cake you don’t seem to have wanted. Did you eat enough during the day? Drink enough? Sleep enough? Were you eating feelings? Was it the grey weather?

My advice for the future is to make sure you are well rested everyday and that you are eating throughout the day. If you still want the cake, that’s OK!! Then enjoy it- savor and relish every bite. Take your time! Hopefully you will feel less (or no) regret when you indulgence.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t beat yourself up. Part of creating a sustainable healthy diet is improving your mindset about food. We’ve become so trained to think in terms of good foods and bad foods. And if we eat “bad” foods we feel guilty and ashamed. And as a result want to work out more, starve, purge, etc. Which leads to bingeing again. And the cycle continues.

By getting away from this mindset you don’t beat yourself up over the occasional indulgence you don’t worry about it. Hopefully it tasted amazing. Just get back on track with the next meal. It’s a marathon not a sprint.

This. Don’t hate yourself for eating food that you enjoy. Embrace it. Embrace yourself. Set a goal for exercise and movement, and for healthy eating that is balanced and does not deprive you. Change the mind set from a specific number on a scale that you need to reach and that you “break” by eating cake to a healthy active sustainable lifestyle. This road may take longer to reach your number goal, but it’ll be better for you on the long run physically and emotionally.

Anonymous wrote:You obsessing over eating cake is probably what caused you to be overweight in the first place. As is being thin a result of ocd about food. The whole idiotic trend about diets and what you eat and don’t eat is why you overeat or under eat in the first place.
You/most here, obsess over what they should not eat they spend all the time thinking about eating and what to eat. Truly it is the cause of weight gain and loss.
You should enjoy your cake not giving it another thought.

I partially agree, and partially disagree.

I am somebody that gained a lot of weight through reactionary eating - mostly associated with a high stress job. My eating was never regimented and never planned. That was a big mistake.

I am well past my weight loss phase and now doing a lot of endurance athletics and strength training to support the same. I MUST plan my eating around that and make sure I am getting enough intake and the right kinds. So, I think one of the keys here is to plan your eating and don't make it random. That is the very definition of avoiding random snacking. If you do that generally, that is not an obsession. That would be like saying your shower routine is an obsession. And, if you are moderately mindful of what you are eating, one piece of cake is meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

YMMV.

All you have to do to lose weight is be in a calorie deficit. You can have that cake ( so don’t beat yourself up) if the rest of your daily calories are still in a deficit.

When you tell yourself that you cannot ever again have a piece of chocolate cake, all you do is think about that chocolate cake until you have it, and possible binge on it. So eat the cake here and there, and on that day go light with the rest of your calories. Then tomorrow go back to eating healthy foods still in a calorie deficit to lose weight.

I ate two chocolate, one plain, one lemon filled donut for breakfast and I have ZERO guilt. If I had a carrot or pecan cake I'd eat the hell out of it.

Are you Agatha Trunchbull? Matilda movie set wants you back.

You obsessing over eating cake is probably what caused you to be overweight in the first place. As is being thin a result of ocd about food. The whole idiotic trend about diets and what you eat and don’t eat is why you overeat or under eat in the first place.
You/most here, obsess over what they should not eat they spend all the time thinking about eating and what to eat. Truly it is the cause of weight gain and loss.
You should enjoy your cake not giving it another thought.

I went to the grocery store last night and thought about buying myself a single slice of chocolate cake as a treat. I looked at all the different cakes for about 15 minutes and ultimately left without cake.

Last night I ate a bunch of fruit instead that wasn’t really satisfying. And today I really want chocolate cake. I wish I had just listened to my body yesterday and eaten the one slice of cake.

I’ve lost a hundred pounds in the past two years and now have a bmi on the high end of the normal range. I haven’t had cake in a month and sometimes should just eat some cake.

Anonymous wrote:And now I hate myself and feel ill and wish I didn’t. I want to lose weight but I can’t stop doing things like this no matter how many times I try swearing it off.

I am “fasting” today. Bad night’s sleep and just ate brownies and leftover bad domino’s pizza. Was not even hungry

Don’t beat yourself up. Part of creating a sustainable healthy diet is improving your mindset about food. We’ve become so trained to think in terms of good foods and bad foods. And if we eat “bad” foods we feel guilty and ashamed. And as a result want to work out more, starve, purge, etc. Which leads to bingeing again. And the cycle continues.

By getting away from this mindset you don’t beat yourself up over the occasional indulgence you don’t worry about it. Hopefully it tasted amazing. Just get back on track with the next meal. It’s a marathon not a sprint.

You can’t hate yourself thin - don’t beat yourself up! Today is a new day.

Suggestions - I assume you want them if you’re posting…

Beck Diet Book - cognitive behavioral therapy approach to eating - game changer for me - addresses the mental part of all of this

I used to have these afternoon crashes where I’d tell myself. “If I don’t have that cake/muffin/pastry etc I will die”.
What helped:

getting better sleep - I use the oura ring

Learning about blood sugar issues - look up Glucose Goddess and Signos

This has been really helpful

Good luck