Anonymous
Post 05/01/2023 11:12     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A month is too long - for you and the cats. Even with daily company, 30 days is a looooong time for pets to be on their own. She should be getting a house and pet sitter. Typically, you pay them, but perhaps you all have friends from Europe who might appreciate a free place to stay in exchange for some pet sitting?


OP here - yes I think a month is too long for just a 15 min visit every day for the cats. These cats are pretty old. I have suggested a paid service/or house sitter but she doesn't like that idea because her cats will not like it. I think I will hold my ground and say I will do it for 2 weeks. She lives 15mins away so the visit is pretty much an hour of my day taken.


Whatever amount you decide is doable, hold your ground! 2 weeks is still extremely generous so don't let her guilt you!! She is the one leaving her pets for an entire month. "They aren't comfortable with other people" is a load of BS. They just need food and water and clean litter. They can hide while all that happens.

If you would feel better having an excuse, I agree with the PPs saying to just tell her you will be out of town too.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 04:29     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A month is too long - for you and the cats. Even with daily company, 30 days is a looooong time for pets to be on their own. She should be getting a house and pet sitter. Typically, you pay them, but perhaps you all have friends from Europe who might appreciate a free place to stay in exchange for some pet sitting?


OP here - yes I think a month is too long for just a 15 min visit every day for the cats. These cats are pretty old. I have suggested a paid service/or house sitter but she doesn't like that idea because her cats will not like it. I think I will hold my ground and say I will do it for 2 weeks. She lives 15mins away so the visit is pretty much an hour of my day taken.


Whoa! It’s a 15 minute drive?? Say no! WTF
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2023 13:19     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
OP, you're a good friend and your friend might not mean to be taking advantage of you but she is. I wouldn't cat sit for two weeks unless it was an emergency, like they were in hospital or had to leave the country for a funeral.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2023 12:44     Subject: Re:Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
It’s not your job to manage her feelings around this. She might not like getting a service. That’s not your problem to solve or make better for her.

Honestly, I would go back to her and amend your offer:
You: Hey, I need to withdraw my offer to take care of the cats for two weeks in July. I’m in the process of making some plans and I need the flexibility.

Her: But you said you’d do it for two weeks. What are your plans? My cats don’t like strangers.

You: I’m sure you’ll figure this out.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2023 11:43     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A month is too long - for you and the cats. Even with daily company, 30 days is a looooong time for pets to be on their own. She should be getting a house and pet sitter. Typically, you pay them, but perhaps you all have friends from Europe who might appreciate a free place to stay in exchange for some pet sitting?


OP here - yes I think a month is too long for just a 15 min visit every day for the cats. These cats are pretty old. I have suggested a paid service/or house sitter but she doesn't like that idea because her cats will not like it. I think I will hold my ground and say I will do it for 2 weeks. She lives 15mins away so the visit is pretty much an hour of my day taken.


Well there are several months for her cats to get used to someone and she can start by having the person come once or twice a week.

The truth is what your friend really doesn’t like is having to pay someone to cat sit for her. It will cut into her vacation budget. So instead she is able to inconvenience you for free.

Tell her now you can’t cat sit at all. If she tries to guilt you say nothing. Like literally silent. And then just start talking about something else.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2023 22:04     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
Anonymous wrote:A month is too long - for you and the cats. Even with daily company, 30 days is a looooong time for pets to be on their own. She should be getting a house and pet sitter. Typically, you pay them, but perhaps you all have friends from Europe who might appreciate a free place to stay in exchange for some pet sitting?


I have dogs so it's different, but I wonder if the cats are nervy because of things like this. For a month, I'd try to board them in a better environment than just someone stopping by daily. Like someone who works from home and will take them in their home. Your suggestion of house-sitting for pet care is great. I'm blanking on the name of the website, but there is one similar to Rover that arranges to basically barter house sitting/pet sitting for free or reduced lodging. I probably wouldn't do it for my high exercise needs dogs, but I think it would be fine for cats?
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2023 22:03     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
Please say, “No, I can't commit to doing that.” No explanation needed. It took me way too long to say those words😳

If someone asked something of me that I wouldn’t ask of them, I say no.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2023 21:53     Subject: Re:Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
If you offer 2 weeks, tell her you can only go every other day.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2023 21:49     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
Anonymous wrote:My friend and I are both Europeans living in the US and we have no extended family here. Her family goes away every summer for about a month and always asks me to go and feed her cats daily and sort our their litter tray and water her plants. I am all for a bit of pet sitting for family/friends here and there but I think a month is a bit much and wouldn't ask that of her. I don't know my plans that far in advance and we might want to go away for the weekend ourselves during that month. She has just asked again for this summer and I suggested if she could find someone else we could split the sitting to 2 weeks each but she didn't seem keen as her cats are a bit nervy. I know this is a small problem in the grand scheme of things but was just wondering if I am being unreasonable for not wanting to do the whole month?


"I'm so sorry; I'm thinking of being out of town myself during that same time."
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2023 21:27     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
Anonymous wrote:A month is too long - for you and the cats. Even with daily company, 30 days is a looooong time for pets to be on their own. She should be getting a house and pet sitter. Typically, you pay them, but perhaps you all have friends from Europe who might appreciate a free place to stay in exchange for some pet sitting?


This is the best solution.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2023 20:57     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A month is too long - for you and the cats. Even with daily company, 30 days is a looooong time for pets to be on their own. She should be getting a house and pet sitter. Typically, you pay them, but perhaps you all have friends from Europe who might appreciate a free place to stay in exchange for some pet sitting?


OP here - yes I think a month is too long for just a 15 min visit every day for the cats. These cats are pretty old. I have suggested a paid service/or house sitter but she doesn't like that idea because her cats will not like it. I think I will hold my ground and say I will do it for 2 weeks. She lives 15mins away so the visit is pretty much an hour of my day taken.


You have to drive 15 minutes to get her house? Nobody would do this for a month for free. Come on. That’s VERY nice of you to offer 2 weeks even.



You are being taken advantage of!!! An hour a day for a month - no way! Even 2 weeks is too generous. If you still want to be nice just offer 1 week. She needs to make other arrangements.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2023 20:42     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A month is too long - for you and the cats. Even with daily company, 30 days is a looooong time for pets to be on their own. She should be getting a house and pet sitter. Typically, you pay them, but perhaps you all have friends from Europe who might appreciate a free place to stay in exchange for some pet sitting?


OP here - yes I think a month is too long for just a 15 min visit every day for the cats. These cats are pretty old. I have suggested a paid service/or house sitter but she doesn't like that idea because her cats will not like it. I think I will hold my ground and say I will do it for 2 weeks. She lives 15mins away so the visit is pretty much an hour of my day taken.


You have to drive 15 minutes to get her house? Nobody would do this for a month for free. Come on. That’s VERY nice of you to offer 2 weeks even.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2023 20:31     Subject: Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
Anonymous wrote:A month is too long - for you and the cats. Even with daily company, 30 days is a looooong time for pets to be on their own. She should be getting a house and pet sitter. Typically, you pay them, but perhaps you all have friends from Europe who might appreciate a free place to stay in exchange for some pet sitting?


OP here - yes I think a month is too long for just a 15 min visit every day for the cats. These cats are pretty old. I have suggested a paid service/or house sitter but she doesn't like that idea because her cats will not like it. I think I will hold my ground and say I will do it for 2 weeks. She lives 15mins away so the visit is pretty much an hour of my day taken.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2023 20:17     Subject: Re:Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
I would never agree to pet sit for a month for free. That’s just ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2023 19:57     Subject: Re:Am I being a bad friend? Pet sitting dilemma
I felt bad asking my neighbor to let my dog out once or twice a year when I was stuck in a terrible traffic jam. I can't imagine asking for an entire month. Just say you have plans.