Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

+1. Thursday night at 6 pm is a really odd time to have a four year old's birthday, but the above is also true. Just suck it up and go.

This. Let him play really hard for an hour and then eat. Have your DH change him into his PJs before they come home and make sure he wipes his face/hands. He’ll be out before they get home. The end.

Upside - you’ll know if this really works. If he’s a complete nightmare, now you have a data point to refuse other late invites. If he’s fine, then you’ll know for next time.

I guess I don't get the big deal. They play for an hour. Dinner is probably pizza. You're out of there by 730. You don't have to give your kid ice cream and cake. Your kid will probably sleep really well after all the activity too!

I'd go and then just leave at 7pm.

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

Anonymous wrote:You sound miserable to be married to.

You sound much more miserable to be around than OP does. Who talks to people like this? JFC.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

Just have DH take him. Your kid will be fine for one night

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

I take the opposite view: it's a preschool birthday party. Literally zero impact to skipping it, while sleep routines are important. And an exhausted toddler is not going to have a good time.

OP, your husband can go say hi, socialize, and bring a gift if that will smooth things over. But I'd keep the kid home. Likely your SIL won't care either way.

Tell me you aren’t close with your family/are “that” SIL without telling me…

Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

+1. Thursday night at 6 pm is a really odd time to have a four year old's birthday, but the above is also true. Just suck it up and go.

It's their cousins. One night will be fine.

Yeah, no big deal. It is rude that you are making such a stink over this.

It's a bad time for a party for young kids. Our kids went to bed at 7 at that age. And weird to have it on a weeknight also (?) but since it's your family, I'd go. It's just one night.

Anonymous wrote:Compromise. Your son will survive one day without a full bath. Feed him before the party, let him play the first hour, and then go home and put him to bed when the other guests are eating dinner.

This.

But the time to debate this was when she set the party time/day. Not the afternoon before.

But I agree with you it's a terrible time for a preschool party. When one of my kids was 3 she was asleep at 7pm.

Anonymous wrote:Compromise. Your son will survive one day without a full bath. Feed him before the party, let him play the first hour, and then go home and put him to bed when the other guests are eating dinner.

Agree with this. I get it, my eldest had a very structured bath/bed routine and didn’t adapt to changes very well. I’d compromise as best you can and this version seems do-able. Better to show and leave early than not show at all.