Anonymous wrote:I had a VBAC. I did some prep - stayed in reasonable shape, acupuncture to encourage labor, and went to a birthing class. I also had a doula.

I kind of agree with both posters that you have to believe you can do it, but also, that’s not all there is to it (obviously). I think you do have to go in REALLY believing in yourself, because childbirth is painful and hard. You’ve got to go in feeling strong and confident and determined. Because it’s probably all going to go upside down when the pain really hits, so you’ve got to set yourself up as best you can before that.

Anyway, I did most of the things you’re supposed to, and in the end, what was going to happen happened.

The two things that probably made most of the difference was my L&D nurse who was amazing and having a supportive doctor who was ok with labor (including pushing) taking much longer than most doctors would have been (according to my doula). He did say that we’d need to go to a c-section if things didn’t progress in the next hour (I was pushing at that point), but my response was “oh hell no, I did not go through all this to end up with a c-section.” Obviously if the baby was in distress or whatever, I would have felt differently or the doctor would have insisted - I’m not saying you should ignore valid medical advice or that you can just will things to work out. But when things get hard, you’ve got to be able to say to yourself “I can do this, let’s keep going.”

Fwiw, while labor really, really sucks, for me, the recovery was SO much better that I’d do a vbac over a c-section in a heartbeat. My c-section recovery was by the book, but it’s just a long and painful recovery, even then. I know it’s different for every woman and there are no guarantees with whatever you do, but I’m just sharing my experience.

Good luck, OP

I agree with this. I had a VBAC with my second, and a repeat CS with my third. Labor sucked for me, and I didn’t have a doula, but my provider was wonderful. Even though I tore, I would still take that recovery over my c-section recovery. I also had a worse time with hormones/emotional regulation following both my CSes than my VBAC.

I had a VBAC. I did some prep - stayed in reasonable shape, acupuncture to encourage labor, and went to a birthing class. I also had a doula.

I kind of agree with both posters that you have to believe you can do it, but also, that’s not all there is to it (obviously). I think you do have to go in REALLY believing in yourself, because childbirth is painful and hard. You’ve got to go in feeling strong and confident and determined. Because it’s probably all going to go upside down when the pain really hits, so you’ve got to set yourself up as best you can before that.

Anyway, I did most of the things you’re supposed to, and in the end, what was going to happen happened.

The two things that probably made most of the difference was my L&D nurse who was amazing and having a supportive doctor who was ok with labor (including pushing) taking much longer than most doctors would have been (according to my doula). He did say that we’d need to go to a c-section if things didn’t progress in the next hour (I was pushing at that point), but my response was “oh hell no, I did not go through all this to end up with a c-section.” Obviously if the baby was in distress or whatever, I would have felt differently or the doctor would have insisted - I’m not saying you should ignore valid medical advice or that you can just will things to work out. But when things get hard, you’ve got to be able to say to yourself “I can do this, let’s keep going.”

Fwiw, while labor really, really sucks, for me, the recovery was SO much better that I’d do a vbac over a c-section in a heartbeat. My c-section recovery was by the book, but it’s just a long and painful recovery, even then. I know it’s different for every woman and there are no guarantees with whatever you do, but I’m just sharing my experience.

Good luck, OP

OP, seeing an earlier question, my advice would be to get the epidural. I was happy as a clam with mine, got it fairly early in the process, and had a virtually pain-free birth. I was in good shape, though obviously that isn’t a determinative factor, but delivered very quickly. I was sitting up and reading until it was really time to get going.

I respect that others think certain types of movement/sensation is important…but honestly, pain can also be exhausting. My MIL judged the crap out of my for using an epidural, so I also get some of the pressure folks feel, but I’m pregnant with our second now and will be 100% asking for the epidural as soon as they’ll give it to me.

Just my two cents given you asked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You really think only one woman on these boards had birth injuries? Gosh, must be nice to be so ignorant of the high incidence of birth trauma, postpartum PTSD, prolapse, etc. etc. it’s disgusting to try and silence women whose experiences don’t fit your positive birth narrative and who are trying to help others know what can happen. There are probably dozens of women here saying this but you think it’s one person because you’re trying to minimize and distort the truth.

Lots of women have trauma— from lots of different births. One poster routinely talks abort her very specific pelvic floor damage in the same language every single thread and has for years now. She is not “alerting people to what happens” she is ignoring the needs of others to center herself (see: a thread started by someone with a traumatic c section history).


If that’s not you then don’t worry. If it is you, you should seek therapy.

PP with the pelvic floor damage here. I find tin sad and weird that you think I am the only poster on these boards who posts about major pelvic floor trauma. Newsflash: I am not. Birth injuries are really common, but also really taboo and for some reason women like you who have had uncomplicated deliveries and had a good experience feel the need to silence our voices for some reason, which is just sick and horrible, especially since research shows that educating women about the range of possible outcomes (including negative ones like birth trauma) prenatally can actually reduce risk of birth trauma after delivery and improve psychological well being For women who go on to experience birth injuries. So prenatal education and awareness is actually beneficial and protective, despite what you might think.

I certainly do not post about my experience routinely so maybe you need to wake up and realize how many women are out there who do really experience these things. It’s not just me, one poster who you think is haunting these boards like a ghost. Instead of making up stories about me you should probably educate yourself on the reality of how common these things are, instead of minimizing people and their trauma. I mean, would you ever tell a rape victim or car crash survivor to “stop traumatizing people” with their lives experiences? No, you would not. There’s literally over 400k women every year who have surgery for pelvic floor issues to fix injuries caused by birth and you still think I am the only person who talks about this and has experienced this in all of the DMV? Ridiculous.

Try learning some real facts, you may be surprised and humbled and have new appreciation for the luck you had not to experience these issues.

Incidence of major pelvic floor trauma among women who have delivered vaginally: 20 percent

Incidence of prolapse among women who have given birth: Approx. 50 percent, about 10-20 percent are symptomatic

Incidence of urinary incontinence among women who have given birth: 10-40 percent

Incidence of psychological birth trauma among women who have given birth: 12-30 percent

Anonymous wrote:You really think only one woman on these boards had birth injuries? Gosh, must be nice to be so ignorant of the high incidence of birth trauma, postpartum PTSD, prolapse, etc. etc. it’s disgusting to try and silence women whose experiences don’t fit your positive birth narrative and who are trying to help others know what can happen. There are probably dozens of women here saying this but you think it’s one person because you’re trying to minimize and distort the truth.

Lots of women have trauma— from lots of different births. One poster routinely talks abort her very specific pelvic floor damage in the same language every single thread and has for years now. She is not “alerting people to what happens” she is ignoring the needs of others to center herself (see: a thread started by someone with a traumatic c section history).


If that’s not you then don’t worry. If it is you, you should seek therapy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in your corner OP, you got this. Labor is manageable. The great thing about pain is that you don't need any advance preparation - you get through anything life throws at you in the moment. Do you walk around worrying that someday you might get a finger caught in a car door and how you might cope with that?

Just eat the dates and it's all going to be good. What an exciting time

So untrue. I had a malpositioned baby and prolonged labor and was in so much agony I was fantasizing about throwing myself off the roof and was literally having sensations of being surrounded by dead relatives. When she was yanked out of me with a vacuum and no working epidural I felt so badly that I was dying and being ripped apart that I saw my entire life flash before my eyes like people experience when they are dying. Turns out that was pelvic floor muscles getting ripped off the bone and my vagina ripping apart on the inside and my labia being torn. Everyone’s experience of birth is completely different. For me, labor was manageable until it was not. Don’t extrapolate from your own experience how someone else’s will be. We are all individuals with unique and different experiences.

Ugh I'm so sorry, PP. My birth wasn't quite this bad and I did have an epidural (that only sort of worked) but I relate a bit. Vaginal delivery simply doesn't work in some cases (this is where women would die in childbirth in pre-modern times). I was all in on the crunchy Bradley-class mentality until I actually gave birth. Personally i would never contemplate a VBAC if I'd had a previous C.

You really think only one woman on these boards had birth injuries? Gosh, must be nice to be so ignorant of the high incidence of birth trauma, postpartum PTSD, prolapse, etc. etc. it’s disgusting to try and silence women whose experiences don’t fit your positive birth narrative and who are trying to help others know what can happen. There are probably dozens of women here saying this but you think it’s one person because you’re trying to minimize and distort the truth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the most important thing is to really *really* prioritize taking good care of yourself in pregnancy. It’s so hard with a second child because the first needs you, but make sure you’re eating well, sleeping well, doing a prenatal yoga class (only thing with empirical evidence of making a difference in labor) twice a week. This is going to be an investment in your recovery no matter how you give birth, but is what you can proactively do to increase your odds.

As you get closer to your due date talk to your OB or doula about the baby’s position and do spinning babies if necessary to improve it.

And stay off DCUM. I had very specific medical requirements to avoid a c-section at all costs (endorsed by my doctor) and pelvic floor trauma lady still showed up to tell me what a bad decision I was making.

Oh yes, if you had or anticipate or just want to have a good vaginal birth experience and/or if you used a doula watch out because pelvic floor trauma lady will ruin your day. I don't know if she is c-section trauma lady, but that lady will probably get mad at PP for telling OP to do prenatal yoga because she was a fitness fanatic and she had a c-section and it was horrible (and Venus Williams and Gwen Jorgensen also needed c-sections, which proves her point that c-sections are unavoidable...) so no one should ever think that they can avoid a c-section.

So basically you want any woman who had a bad experience with her birth or injured herself or had a traumatic experience and wants other women to be aware of what might happen to them to just STFU about it? Ok. I mean, I guess the only equivalent experience I can think of would be if there was a group of active duty war vets who got attacked and injured during combat talking with another group of war vets who survived and never experienced injury and the second group is telling the first group to go away and shut up because their experiences and trauma don’t matter. Ok. Got it.

No, I think you just don’t need it make their threads— and every thread in which someone asks for support for a birth that isn’t a planned c-section— about your experience. This isn’t the “expectant and postpartum moms who want to hear about one woman’s pelvic floor over and over for 4+ years” forum.

The are better ways to process your trauma.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the most important thing is to really *really* prioritize taking good care of yourself in pregnancy. It’s so hard with a second child because the first needs you, but make sure you’re eating well, sleeping well, doing a prenatal yoga class (only thing with empirical evidence of making a difference in labor) twice a week. This is going to be an investment in your recovery no matter how you give birth, but is what you can proactively do to increase your odds.

As you get closer to your due date talk to your OB or doula about the baby’s position and do spinning babies if necessary to improve it.

And stay off DCUM. I had very specific medical requirements to avoid a c-section at all costs (endorsed by my doctor) and pelvic floor trauma lady still showed up to tell me what a bad decision I was making.

Oh yes, if you had or anticipate or just want to have a good vaginal birth experience and/or if you used a doula watch out because pelvic floor trauma lady will ruin your day. I don't know if she is c-section trauma lady, but that lady will probably get mad at PP for telling OP to do prenatal yoga because she was a fitness fanatic and she had a c-section and it was horrible (and Venus Williams and Gwen Jorgensen also needed c-sections, which proves her point that c-sections are unavoidable...) so no one should ever think that they can avoid a c-section.

So basically you want any woman who had a bad experience with her birth or injured herself or had a traumatic experience and wants other women to be aware of what might happen to them to just STFU about it? Ok. I mean, I guess the only equivalent experience I can think of would be if there was a group of active duty war vets who got attacked and injured during combat talking with another group of war vets who survived and never experienced injury and the second group is telling the first group to go away and shut up because their experiences and trauma don’t matter. Ok. Got it.

I specifically posted about the women or woman who attacks other women for posting that they had a good birth experience with a doula or saying that working out and eating healthy helped them with labor. If you are one of the women or the woman that does this the fact that you're swearing and comparing your experience to a vet's traumatic experience says a lot about where you are in your healing journey (not far) and the PP who said that you're trying to work stuff out through posts is also probably correct. Except I don't think you're working anything out. I think you are simply reliving your trauma and probably retraumatizing yourself and everyone else. Shouldn't we try to uplift this person with helpful advice instead of scaring her about her pelvic floor? Or do you not want anyone to have a positive experience because you had a negative experience?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the most important thing is to really *really* prioritize taking good care of yourself in pregnancy. It’s so hard with a second child because the first needs you, but make sure you’re eating well, sleeping well, doing a prenatal yoga class (only thing with empirical evidence of making a difference in labor) twice a week. This is going to be an investment in your recovery no matter how you give birth, but is what you can proactively do to increase your odds.

As you get closer to your due date talk to your OB or doula about the baby’s position and do spinning babies if necessary to improve it.

And stay off DCUM. I had very specific medical requirements to avoid a c-section at all costs (endorsed by my doctor) and pelvic floor trauma lady still showed up to tell me what a bad decision I was making.

Oh yes, if you had or anticipate or just want to have a good vaginal birth experience and/or if you used a doula watch out because pelvic floor trauma lady will ruin your day. I don't know if she is c-section trauma lady, but that lady will probably get mad at PP for telling OP to do prenatal yoga because she was a fitness fanatic and she had a c-section and it was horrible (and Venus Williams and Gwen Jorgensen also needed c-sections, which proves her point that c-sections are unavoidable...) so no one should ever think that they can avoid a c-section.

So basically you want any woman who had a bad experience with her birth or injured herself or had a traumatic experience and wants other women to be aware of what might happen to them to just STFU about it? Ok. I mean, I guess the only equivalent experience I can think of would be if there was a group of active duty war vets who got attacked and injured during combat talking with another group of war vets who survived and never experienced injury and the second group is telling the first group to go away and shut up because their experiences and trauma don’t matter. Ok. Got it.

I think the difference here is that the input the OP asked for was how to prepare for a VBAC. No one is saying that people with birth trauma should shut up because their experiences don’t matter.

However, consider that the OP’s post is not a great venue for you to work out your own issues with your birth experiences. Consider that you would be just as annoyed about someone coming to a thread about how to recover from birth trauma to give a bunch of opinions that weren’t relevant to that topic.

Yes, and she got some nutty NCB posters spewing off giving unrealistic advice - like saying that the pain is always manageable, which it’s not. So the response was to that comment, not like the PP jumped in randomly to work out her trauma.

The reality is that someone with previous history of birth trauma is at a higher likelihood to have it again. Having a VBAC is also a risk factor for having pelvic floor trauma. And a lot of folks in the NCB community push VBAC as a way to heal from a traumatic C, when the reality is that 1) not everyone gets a VBAC 2) some women can deliver vaginally in the relatively straightforward way the other PPs have experienced (eg with manageable pain, no permanent injury) and 3) plenty of women have a successful VBAC and then end up with more trauma from that birth or birth injuries of varying degrees.

Anyone prepping for a VBAC should be prepared for that multitude of scenarios and take with a grain of salt any generic, one size fits all advice like “birth pain is always manageable” and “you can do this, ignore anyone with a bad birth story, etc etc.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the most important thing is to really *really* prioritize taking good care of yourself in pregnancy. It’s so hard with a second child because the first needs you, but make sure you’re eating well, sleeping well, doing a prenatal yoga class (only thing with empirical evidence of making a difference in labor) twice a week. This is going to be an investment in your recovery no matter how you give birth, but is what you can proactively do to increase your odds.

As you get closer to your due date talk to your OB or doula about the baby’s position and do spinning babies if necessary to improve it.

And stay off DCUM. I had very specific medical requirements to avoid a c-section at all costs (endorsed by my doctor) and pelvic floor trauma lady still showed up to tell me what a bad decision I was making.

Oh yes, if you had or anticipate or just want to have a good vaginal birth experience and/or if you used a doula watch out because pelvic floor trauma lady will ruin your day. I don't know if she is c-section trauma lady, but that lady will probably get mad at PP for telling OP to do prenatal yoga because she was a fitness fanatic and she had a c-section and it was horrible (and Venus Williams and Gwen Jorgensen also needed c-sections, which proves her point that c-sections are unavoidable...) so no one should ever think that they can avoid a c-section.

So basically you want any woman who had a bad experience with her birth or injured herself or had a traumatic experience and wants other women to be aware of what might happen to them to just STFU about it? Ok. I mean, I guess the only equivalent experience I can think of would be if there was a group of active duty war vets who got attacked and injured during combat talking with another group of war vets who survived and never experienced injury and the second group is telling the first group to go away and shut up because their experiences and trauma don’t matter. Ok. Got it.

I think the difference here is that the input the OP asked for was how to prepare for a VBAC. No one is saying that people with birth trauma should shut up because their experiences don’t matter.

However, consider that the OP’s post is not a great venue for you to work out your own issues with your birth experiences. Consider that you would be just as annoyed about someone coming to a thread about how to recover from birth trauma to give a bunch of opinions that weren’t relevant to that topic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the most important thing is to really *really* prioritize taking good care of yourself in pregnancy. It’s so hard with a second child because the first needs you, but make sure you’re eating well, sleeping well, doing a prenatal yoga class (only thing with empirical evidence of making a difference in labor) twice a week. This is going to be an investment in your recovery no matter how you give birth, but is what you can proactively do to increase your odds.

As you get closer to your due date talk to your OB or doula about the baby’s position and do spinning babies if necessary to improve it.

And stay off DCUM. I had very specific medical requirements to avoid a c-section at all costs (endorsed by my doctor) and pelvic floor trauma lady still showed up to tell me what a bad decision I was making.

Oh yes, if you had or anticipate or just want to have a good vaginal birth experience and/or if you used a doula watch out because pelvic floor trauma lady will ruin your day. I don't know if she is c-section trauma lady, but that lady will probably get mad at PP for telling OP to do prenatal yoga because she was a fitness fanatic and she had a c-section and it was horrible (and Venus Williams and Gwen Jorgensen also needed c-sections, which proves her point that c-sections are unavoidable...) so no one should ever think that they can avoid a c-section.

So basically you want any woman who had a bad experience with her birth or injured herself or had a traumatic experience and wants other women to be aware of what might happen to them to just STFU about it? Ok. I mean, I guess the only equivalent experience I can think of would be if there was a group of active duty war vets who got attacked and injured during combat talking with another group of war vets who survived and never experienced injury and the second group is telling the first group to go away and shut up because their experiences and trauma don’t matter. Ok. Got it.

Anonymous wrote:I am preparing for a second birth and would like to do a trial of labor for a VBAC. I recognize it is not a guarantee and neither a cesarean nor vaginal birth eliminates risk, but after a traumatic c section and recovery I have decided for a VBAC.

Does anyone have any advice, tips, anecdotes to share that would help me prepare? I am trying to stay limber. I have a doula, am taking child birth classes outside of the hospital, and have worked with a specialist to work through birth trauma.

Thank you!

check out the Belle Method

Anonymous wrote:I think the most important thing is to really *really* prioritize taking good care of yourself in pregnancy. It’s so hard with a second child because the first needs you, but make sure you’re eating well, sleeping well, doing a prenatal yoga class (only thing with empirical evidence of making a difference in labor) twice a week. This is going to be an investment in your recovery no matter how you give birth, but is what you can proactively do to increase your odds.

As you get closer to your due date talk to your OB or doula about the baby’s position and do spinning babies if necessary to improve it.

And stay off DCUM. I had very specific medical requirements to avoid a c-section at all costs (endorsed by my doctor) and pelvic floor trauma lady still showed up to tell me what a bad decision I was making.

Oh yes, if you had or anticipate or just want to have a good vaginal birth experience and/or if you used a doula watch out because pelvic floor trauma lady will ruin your day. I don't know if she is c-section trauma lady, but that lady will probably get mad at PP for telling OP to do prenatal yoga because she was a fitness fanatic and she had a c-section and it was horrible (and Venus Williams and Gwen Jorgensen also needed c-sections, which proves her point that c-sections are unavoidable...) so no one should ever think that they can avoid a c-section.

I think the most important thing is to really *really* prioritize taking good care of yourself in pregnancy. It’s so hard with a second child because the first needs you, but make sure you’re eating well, sleeping well, doing a prenatal yoga class (only thing with empirical evidence of making a difference in labor) twice a week. This is going to be an investment in your recovery no matter how you give birth, but is what you can proactively do to increase your odds.

As you get closer to your due date talk to your OB or doula about the baby’s position and do spinning babies if necessary to improve it.

And stay off DCUM. I had very specific medical requirements to avoid a c-section at all costs (endorsed by my doctor) and pelvic floor trauma lady still showed up to tell me what a bad decision I was making.