My wife is getting worse about this. And the maddening thing is that she knows that I’m easygoing, so I’m usually good with whatever. PLUS when I do offer an opinion contrary to hers, she mostly ignores it anyway.

OP I've been trained to ask questions as a woman at times. I used to be a very clear communicator. Whenever I speak in a clear authoritative tone, the men at work will talk over me, interrupt me. Sometimes the younger women will roll their eyes at me and laugh at me. It's been very humiliating to be honest. The men I work with even pride themselves on the idea that people have to ask them questions, as if they're the authorities. This might be happening to your wife unless she's been this way since you've known each other. You could just address it with her instead of playing childish mind games.

Why not respond putting the onus on her to decide, with encouragement for her to make her own decisions? Should I call Jess? “Up to you; you know her best.” What should I have for a snack? “ whatever strikes your fancy.” Should I wear this top or this other one? “Whichever you feel more confident in”.

This would drive me insane! I would (as kindly as possible) point this out to her and let her know it’s too much. She might not realize she is doing it.